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Petflix: Bellywood Star Edition
Last night I remarked to the other half about how funny it would be to reimagine movies but with pets cast in the leading roles instead. The Duke, we decided would definitely be frenetically jumping up and down borking “show me the foods!” So I’ll dig in and start him with first, before offering up some of my other ‘pawsome' reimaginings.
First up: “Jerry Macanine", where instead of Tom Cruise, we have a pug mix loudly borking the unforgettable line, "Show me the foods!" Our pooch protagonist is a sports agent who struggles to keep his clients satisfied with squeaky toys and belly rubs. Instead of navigating the world of professional sports, he has to make his way through the competitive landscape of dog shows. Due to his demanding career, he doesn’t have much time for a special someone. But he is all like “you had me at hello” every time one of his Jeeveses opens the treat cupboard door 😍
Now, let’s gnaw on a classic: "Jurassic Bark". In this version, eccentric billionaire John Hammond opens an amusement park featuring gigantic cats and dogs. There’s the larger than life T-Rexton, a colossal golden retriever, shaking the earth with every step, and the Velocir-felines, a terrifying pack of oversized rag tag cats, chasing our protagonists around the park. The iconic line "Life finds a way" transforms into "Fluff finds a way" as our oversized pets manage to unlock their cages and face lick everyone into oblivion… except for that one awkward moment when the Pugtato-saurus steps out of the river from a refreshing swim, only to cause an unexpected smelly downpour of wet dog raining down on us all as he tries to shake himself dry!
Next up, “Harry Pawter and the Sorcerer's Bone" reimagined in the style of Tim Burton. The world of witchcraft and wizardry gets a serious furball makeover. Harry, Ron, and Hermione are all different breeds of dogs attending 'Hogwarts School of Biscuitry and Fetchcraft.' The Houses? Gryffindog, Hufflepurr, Ravenclaw (featuring actual ravens), and Slinktherin (for all the mischievous ferrets and reptiles out there). The climax scene, in this case, involves Harry retrieving the Sorcerer's Bone—an ancient and magical chew toy—from the wicked Professor Quirrell and his hairless Sphynx cat, Voldemort.
Let's not forget the old Bellywood classic "Pawsablanca", but instead of Humphrey Bogart, we have a gruff bulldog named Bogie running the show. And the iconic line, "Here's looking at you, kid," becomes, "Here's sniffing at you, kid." Ingrid Bergman's character is played by a graceful Siamese cat, and the emotional drama unfolds as they negotiate the tumultuous world of a kennel during war time and a disconcerting kibble shortage.
Lastly, the beloved British romcom classic gets a delightful canine spin in "Bridget Bones". But instead of Renée Zellweger, we have an endearing and slightly clumsy Basset Hound named Bridget. Bridget Bones is the quintessential 'good girl,' always obedient but a bit of a klutz, often tripping over her own ears. Instead of keeping a diary to document her love life and weight woes, she chews on different bones to reflect her moods—rawhide for the good days, and squeaky plastic for the bad.
The dashing Mark Darcy, is now Mark 'Barky,' an impeccably groomed Afghan Hound with a slightly aloof demeanour. By contrast, Daniel Cleaver is a cheeky Jack Russell Terrier, always ready to stir up mischief and steal Bridget's favourite bones. The infamous "I like you very much, just as you are" scene is now "I like you very much, just as you chew." And the hilariously awkward fight between Mark and Daniel, is turned into a comical scuffle over a particularly coveted squeaky toy.
Bridget Bones’s clumsy charm, tail wagging optimism, and endearing howls at the moon when things go wrong will surely steal your heart. And remember, it doesn't matter how many times Bridget trips over her ears, she always gets back up—that's what makes her the perfect doggy heroine ❤️
Sure, the scripts may need a few rewrites, and there'd be an awful lot of snacks involved in filming, but who could resist those Oscar worthy puppy eyes, or the Award winning cat song “My Meow Will Go On”? One thing's fur sure… the red carpet at the Petcademy Awards would breathe new life into the ageing ceremony. Of course there would be the usual bitchy gossip, but now with added high octane cat fights, and lots of pupparazzi trying to catch photographs of our stars, and the art of grooming would be taken to a whole new level!
#DistractMe #Cats #MightyPets #Dogs #Fun #Laugh #ForTheLoveOfDogs #MyCondition #ChronicFatigue #Fibromyalgia #CheerMeOn
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