Sometimes I feel like such a fraud. I have been ill for 15 years but I have difficulty sharing my struggles with my extended from family and friends. I have always kept my health issues and my daily challenges personal for several reasons. Such as not wanting to worry anyone, or be judged harshly and of course pride. My decision to sugar coat facts has left my world very small. I only share everything with my husband, kids and a few close friends. I never let anyone see me on an ordinary bad day let alone on a really bad day. Honestly I have never even had a photo taken of my with any of my disability aids (canes, walker, wheelchair, compression gloves etc.).
I feel like it is time to be honest about my diagnosis' and prognosis. The thing is I find this terrifying. I have had strangers, acquaintances, friends and family judge me with little or no facts to back them up. Unfortunately someone very close to me, someone that should have supported me unconditionally tried to destroy me with judgement and lies. Now I'm not sure what to expect from the rest of my family and friends.
I feel like I am in a really good place mentally and spiritually. I am trying to be mindfully positive about the future and I am getting out more with my new wheelchair. I feel very open to new experiences and I'm hopeful for the first time in so long. I guess I'm afraid the reaction I get will bring me down and throw me off course.
Thank you for letting me vent. This is the one place I don't have to fake it.
#ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #PsoriaticArthritis #DupuytrensContracture #SpinalStenosis
#LymeDisease #Fibromyalgia #Osteoarthritis