📢 A Message from Vladimir Poopin: Barry vs. The Terrible Two
#VladAndAddison #TheTerribleTwo #HydrocortisoneToTheRescue #StomaSabotage #BarryVsTheVillainsComrades! Followers of chaos and mischief, gather round!
For today, I bring you glorious news—I, Vladimir Poopin 💩, Supreme Overlord of Stoma Shenanigans, have found an ally in destruction.
Yes, my friends, I have teamed up with none other than Archduke Addison, Lord of Lethargy, Duke of Dizzy Spells, and Master of Sudden Fatigue.
Together, we are unstoppable.
And our latest victim? Barry.
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🎭 The Great Betrayal 🎭
Ah, Barry. Poor, unsuspecting Barry.
This morning, he woke up with a plan.
✔️ He was feeling good.
✔️ He was going to be active.
✔️ He had a game of tennis scheduled.
Tennis! Oh, the optimism! The hope! The foolishness!
Because Barry forgot one thing—I, Vladimir Poopin, am never far away.
And now, with Addison on my side, he never stood a chance.
The moment Barry laced up his trainers and dared to think he could be productive, we STRUCK!
💥 SURPRISE LEAK! Just enough to ruin his morning prep.
💥 ADDISON UNLEASHES FATIGUE! Barry felt like he’d been hit by a truck made entirely of exhaustion.
💥 DIZZINESS MODE: ACTIVATED! Walking to the fridge suddenly felt like a trek across the Sahara.
Tennis? Out of the question.
Standing up? A big ask.
Thinking clearly? Not a chance.
Barry slumped in his chair, utterly defeated, the tennis court a distant dream.
And what did Addison and I do?
We celebrated.
(Well, Addison mostly lay on a fainting couch like the Victorian drama queen he is, but I made up for it.)
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🎭 Barry’s Desperate Escape 🎭
Now, dear reader, imagine the scene:
Barry, normally a strong and noble warrior, was reduced to a sluggish, wobbly mess, shuffling around his ground-floor flat like a man who had aged fifty years overnight.
✔️ I sabotaged his outfit with a well-timed leak.
✔️ Addison drained every ounce of energy, leaving Barry moving at the speed of a half-inflated balloon.
✔️ His plans? Obliterated. His motivation? Gone. His will to do anything but collapse? Laughable.
At one point, Barry considered lying down on the spot.
Perhaps, if he just closed his eyes for a minute, the world would stop spinning like a badly programmed rollercoaster.
But no. Barry had one last trick up his sleeve.
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🎭 The Final Showdown 🎭
With sheer determination, Barry dragged himself to the one thing that could ruin our fun—
⚠️ HYDROCORTISONE. ⚠️
One dose. One act of defiance. And suddenly—
Addison faltered.
The dizziness began to fade.
The exhaustion lost its grip.
I, Vladimir Poopin, was left standing alone, my new ally crumbling before my eyes.
Barry, though still wobbly, was not defeated.
Tennis may have been off the table, but he had won this round.
For now.
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📢 The Moral of the Story?
1️⃣ Never trust a quiet stoma. If I’m behaving, it’s a trap.
2️⃣ Addison is a dramatic villain. He doesn’t just make you tired—he makes you question existence itself.
3️⃣ Hydrocortisone is our enemy. We hate it. It ruins all our evil plans.
4️⃣ Barry may have survived this battle, but the war continues.
So, sleep well, Barry. Rest. Recover.
Because Vlad & Addison will return.
And next time? We’ll be ready.
Yours in chaos and cortisol,
Vladimir Poopin 💩
(Supreme Stoma Strategist, Master of Mayhem, Addison’s Slightly Mo#barryvsthevillains re Active Friend)