HIV/AIDS

I know for a fact that I am not alone in feeling this way. The need to protect our loved ones from other people in our lives because well, a lie is certainly better than the truth; even though, honesty is one of our core values. It can cause us to become conflicted within ourselves. We can even start to doubt ourselves, gaslight ourselves and confuse ourselves into thinking we are crazy and just 'bad' people. However, perhaps, it is just the way circumstances are at that given point in time. Circumstances do not define us as 'good' or 'bad'; sometimes, circumstances are just that they are there. Then, why do we struggle to accept the circumstances for what they are? Perhaps, we hold expectations that the outcome should be different or could have been different and we set out to internalize and blame ourselves. Or perhaps, we externalize and blame others without point a finger at ourselves. What is the point of us blaming each other just to escape the feeling of 'acceptance'. Why is acceptance so hard?

We lie to certain loved ones in our life about other loved ones because we want to protect one from the other; maybe we know each of them so well that we know they would not get along if we were to introduce them to each other. The pain of our individual friendships not becoming interconnected or turning into mutual friendships would cause us immense pain and suffering that we avoid ever intermingling our relationships. Then, is it about them or is it really about ourselves? Are we trying to protect ourselves and this is just one of our defence mechanisms? We try to protect the privacy and confidentiality of our individual friendships to the point that we risk our own integrity and we risk ourselves being perceived as dishonest and/or as pathological liars. When in fact, we never intended that. However, let me be brutally clear, our intentions are invisible and subjective; they are inside our heads and nobody can read our thoughts or know what we are thinking. They only go off what their conscious mind 'sees' in front of them. When we are so lost in our minds, we are not present in the moment. We do not even take note of how we look to anyone outside our head. They probably see someone that is lost, confused and just in outer space. This can cause them to make assumptions and judgements about us, which can be false or negative. And then we become so unfocused that we forget to communicate or socialize, which leads to further misunderstandings. Before we know it, we get to misperceived to be something we never even were. We either get so hard on ourselves (internalizing) or we become extremely bitter, angry, hateful (externalizing) and just spiral out of control. This causes debilitating symptoms.

What a utopian world it would be if we could all communicate telepathically. But the truth is, majority of us do not have that so-called 'superpower'.

In an era where we are bound by technology and rely so heavily on these smartphones, it is easy to forget to use our other senses also and do manual things like we used to. We get so programmed to using a device that we lose our autonomy and independent and we start allowing the devices to control us and decide for us so we do not have to think. This seems rather convenient or even easy because we do not have to think; thinking takes a lot of energy and time right? However, thinking is important because how else will our decision making be rational? How else can we do self-reflections and hold ourselves accountable so we do not reach a stage of utter despair? We're all prone to errors and omissions, machines are too. Nothing is perfect and never will be. Striving for perfection and actual perfection are completely different things.

We've become so used to working independently, we forgot how to work as a group or team. We focused so much on being competitive, that we forgot how to be collaborative. We tried to make things convenient and easy that we forgot the value of 'hard work' and determination and dedication or commitment, which includes loyalty. We used to actually think about long-term plans and goals, now everything is so spontaneous and impromptu-based. As a generation, is this what we want to teach our future generations; that this sort of laisse faire attitude or 'take it easy' mindset is okay? No wonder, there is so much conflict in the world involving nuclear weapons like guns, bombs, violence and so much unnecessary bloodshed. We do not even bother to stop, PAUSE and think before they proceed to destroy each other. They do not even bother to TALK in good faith, they do not even bother to communicate and use their words to try and resolve their conflicts and do not even effectively communicate their needs and interests to each other via language (including body language). We have reached a stage of trust issues due to spending so much time on our phones and in our heads that we have lost touch with each other. Go into a university or college campus, you see people sitting in close proximity or vicinities to each other (next to each other) and they are all on their phones. What happened to saying hi to passing neighbors on a friendly neighborhood walk? Or even giving a friendly smile when you pass by someone? Now, if you do that, people think you are a creep? Again, judgmental.

Why can't we go back to the days when we were curious and actually interested to learn from each other and get to know each other via TALKING? In dating, relationships, we are in a instant physical attraction stage where you see someone that is physically good looking and you proceed to hook up and bang them; night gone, action gone and you try to erase it from your memory. We live in a culture of short term memory loss being romanticized. People use drugs and alcohol to try and erase their memories so they do not remember what they did last night to escape accountability? No wonder, our rate of HIV and our blood disorders is skyrocketing. It is not even about contraception or safe sex, because those still have risks. However, intimacy was once valuable and something sacred; now, it's lost all meaning - which is why more and more people are CHOOSING to remain single and abstain from sexual activities including dating. There is no point because nobody talks anymore. Our culture has become so anti-social? For the introverts, this is utopia -for the extroverts? This is mental torture.

"Let's go back to simplicity; I've been missing me" - Jess Glynne, Don't be so hard on yourself

Here are my symptoms at the moment:

Weight gain

- Previously I was always on the thin end of the spectrum now on the overweight boundary

- Have been passively been trying to loose weight for 18 months (usually I barely have to try to loose weight)

- Average exercise 30-60mins/ day

- I look pregnant

- None of my clothes fit anymore

Brain fog

-Can’t concentrate

- Poor memory

- Feels sludgy, no smooth thoughts

- Almost constant headache

Frequent illness/ infections

- Getting ill once a month with a cold/ flu something like that

- Have developed nasal polyps as a result

- Recovery slow avg 2-3 weeks which means I’m ill 50-70% of the time

Absolutely exhausted

- Could sleep for England Sometimes struggle to get to sleep

- Can easily sleep well over 12hrs but up to 24hrs at a time

- Difficult to get up in the morning, everything heavy

Loss of libido

- 3-4x per week down to 1x per month

Nipple discharge

- Started in January 2022

- Can be clear, milky or clear with yellow in it

- Often spontaneous after a shower

Numbness and tingling in hands and fingers

- Palm of right hand feels like ice is being rammed into it. Almost feels like the nerve is exposed and cold but it doesnt hurt and there’s not anything I can find that helps

- Left hand pinky and ring finger often go numb

- Often comes in waves where it will be almost constant for a few days or weeks then subsides for a bit

Temperature sensitivities

- Often too hot or too cold and struggle to get to the right temperature without swinging too far the other way

Loose, clicking joints

- My ankles are always giving way and often hurt for days after a particularly bad roll

- Many joints click when I move and I sound like a 1 man band, in particular my knees

- The arch of my right foot clicks but I don’t think there’s any joint or anything there to click?

Skin changes

- Lots of bruises that I don’t know where they came from

- Spots particularly on chest also more acne on my face than I had during teenage years

- Fragile skin that tears if I take a plaster off

- Purpura and pietache

- Stretch marks on my sides and thighs

Bowel changes

- Swing between constipation and almost loose/ diarrhea

Hair thinning

Slow healing of wounds

Recent additions

- Longer, heavier periods (14 days and bleeding through onto clothes started 6-9 months ago)

- Twitchy muscle thing

- Can feel blood in my legs

- Intermittently feels like I have a UTI for a few hrs then it goes away

- Bone in my lower leg hurts (both sides)

Test results

- Normal pituitary MRI

- Nasal polyps found on MRI

- Normal ovaries (NOT PCOS)

- mild anemia which worsened with heavier periods

- Normal WBC even when ill

- High IgA and IgM with normal IgG and recent EBV infection

- Negative ANA

- intermittently elevated liver enzymes, negative liver antibodies

- Negative HIV

- TSH mid of normal range, T4 on lower end but normal

- CRP normal, ESR borderline

- high Phosphate swings between high and low but usually low and rarely normal

- Intermittently but usually high estrogen, DHEAS, testosterone, cortisol, LH

- Low good cholesterol (slightly), all other cholesterols are normal

- Normal vit D, platelets, urea, electrolytes, albium, calcium, HbA1C, B12

If anyone has any suggestions of things to look into that'd be really helpful.

#Undiagnosed #chronic #ChronicIllness #chronicallyill #searchingforanswers #Gaslighting #Answers #Diagnosis #Testresults #symptoms

My ex cheated on me while I was pregnant with his child, it was 3 months ago but I’m due in February and I’m afraid to let someone else in my life, I’m afraid to be in a relationship with someone else like any type of relationship even sexual, I’m too scared of that bc my ex gave me hiv, even tho I take my medicine and I’m undetectable right now, I don’t see myself have sex or being in a relationship with someone but I want to have someone to cuddle, to talk too,to watch movies and to love but idk. Is it wrong it’s taking me so long to get over it? I’m scared to be with someone thinking,what if they hurt me,what if they don’t accept I have a child with someone else or what if it’s bc I have hiv or what if I never find the right person

Marijuana is legal for both recreational and medicinal purposes. Connecticut is late to the marijuana legalization debate. Massachusetts, New York, New Jersey, and Maine have all relaxed their marijuana laws far ahead of Connecticut.

Legislation's Evolution

Governor Dannel Malloy decriminalized cannabis possession in 2011.

Governor Malloy of Connecticut signed into law a medical marijuana programmed for his state in 2012.

Governor Lamont signs Senate Bill 1201, legalizing's recreational cannabis, in 2021.

Conditions of Eligibility

To qualify for a medical marijuana card in Connecticut, patients must be 18 or older, or have a caregiver who can access cannabis if the patient is a minor or adult who cannot buy/grow for themselves.

Debilitating medical conditions in adults include:

Cancer (Effective 2012) Glaucoma (Effective 2012) Possibility of Human Immunodeficiency Virus infection or Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome (Effective 2012) Parkinson's Illness (Effective 2012) Multiple Sclerosis (MS) (Effective 2012) Spinal Cord Nervous Tissue Damage with Objective Neurological Indication of Intractable Spasticity (Effective 2012) Epilepsy (Effective 2012) Cachexia (Effective 2012)

Debilitating Medical Conditions for Patients Under the Age of 18 include:

Cerebral Palsy (Effective 2016) Fibrosis of the lungs (Effective 2016) Intractable Spasticity Caused by Irreversible Spinal Cord Injury (Effective 2016) Epilepsy with severe manifestations (Effective 2016) End-of-Life Care for a Terminal Illness (Effective 2016) Uncontrollable Intractable Seizures (Effective 2016)

Medical marijuana laws in Connecticut

Possession

Patients and caregivers who have registered may each have up to 5 ounces.

For personal use, those 21 and older may have up to 1.0.0.5 ounces of cannabis, 7.0.0.5 grams of concentrate, or 750 milligrams of THC.

Cultivation

Beginning in October 2021, patients who use medical marijuana will be able to grow their own cannabis.

Consumption

If a patient uses marijuana in a public setting, such as: A motor vehicle, a school bus, or another moving vehicle, the legislation does not apply.

1. While working

2. While on the premises of any public or private school, dorm, college, or institution.

3. Within a marijuana dispensary.

Quick Steps to Get a Connecticut Medical Marijuana Card?

The Department of Consumer Protection is now in charge of the cannabis sales in the state according to SB 1201.

Schedule a consultation with My MMJ Doctor.

Complete the online form to schedule a consultation with My MMJ Doctor. We have a group of qualified medical professionals who specialize in medical marijuana.

Show up for the appointment.

A certified medical expert will establish a video conference with you at the time you specify after you submit the form to review your medical issues.

Join the state's registry.

You must register with the DCP as soon as you receive the recommendation letter. Patients cannot access the online certification system until they have registered with the DAS Business Network.

Reciprocity

Only Connecticut residents who meet the requirements are allowed to possess cannabis and purchase it from licensed dispensaries, according to Connecticut state law. Reciprocity is not available to residents of other states.

To know more , Click here : mymmjdoctor.com/is-weed-legal-in-connecticut