HIV/AIDS

“It’s tragic and shameful that elderly people with HIV have to go through what they’re going through without getting the proper attention that they deserve,” Levin says. “This will be a disaster soon without a solution. People with HIV are aging, and the challenges are piling up ... #Aging #HIV

“It’s tragic and shameful that elderly people with HIV have to go through what they’re going through without getting the proper attention that they deserve,” Levin says. “This will be a disaster soon without a solution. People with HIV are aging, and the challenges are piling up ... #Aging #HIV

Who decides what is sensitive #censure

Some time ago here, in the MIGHTY , my normal regular picture, almost headset, it shows black and it says: WARNING, THIS PICTURE MIGHT CONTAIN SENSITIVE CONTENT.

WHAT? Is AI, or THE MIGHTY , talking about the picture or me?

If anything, OK, I am sensitive content.

I am dangerous, because I speak up, and I am an advocate and an activist, and REPRESENTING means a lot to me.

I AM SENSITIVE, because as an empath, I try my best to listen, but also to feel what you are going through, and what my community is going through.

I AM LOUD, I AM LIGHT, I AM MANY COLORS, I AM A LATINO/X/E, I AM AN IMMIGRANT who came to this country with no LEGAL papers, I AM A GAY MAN, who has many shades and it has not been an angel.

I AM A SURVIVOR, 38 years living/dying with HIV, 12 years CANCER survivor, living with CHRONIC PAIN.

I AM, YES< an expression of an AY AY AY AY, because my pain is always there, and even pain has a cultural connotation.

I AM FREE, but ALWAYS a SLAVE of my journey, trying to be always a GOOD BOY.

I AM EXPRESSIVE, when I have sex, and when I feel the rain and the wind over my face and body.

I AM YOURS, if you want to hear my story as part of the HUMAN LIBRARY.

I AM...who you think I AM, but also many other faces that had been part of your experience and your family's experiences.

I AM, a DREAM, A HOPE, A THORN and SEED.

LOVE YOU....because I'm sending you healing energy, and I know you might feel me, and I might give you a smile.

I can get caught in that awful loop of beating myself up, only seeing my flaws, only recognizing things I haven’t done instead of giving myself credit for things I have done, getting stuck in self judgment, only seeming to hear my inner critic’s voice, I can lose all my self confidence, let my self esteem dip and things can look pretty bleak.

Over time more and more I have been able to catch this in the moment, pause, breathe, re-set, and then be gentle with myself and allow myself to shift my energy. I can then take first steps towards better self care…and reverse that repetitive loop, replace it with self respect and start to believe in myself! One situation at a time, I’m getting better … and every time I succeed it can get a little easier the next time. I can see that I have grown along my path and although it can be very hard for me to accept, there is unique beauty to the journey I have been on. I am not broken - I am strong - I have been accepting my flaws and see that as I have picked myself up over and over I have filled myself with gold!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I find doing a gratitude list can help. A while back it was recommended I process a gratitude list every morning. I like to think of my blessings: roof over my head and food on the table; a car that runs and being able to afford insurance & gas for it; MY HEALTH…here I go through all my 5 senses thankful they all work, touch and feel my legs that didn’t at one point and give thanks that parts of me are healing but by bit ! I give thanks for my whole support network: great doctors & health providers, my friends, and my family!!! I find after doing this I start off the day feeling much better about myself!

What is on your gratitude list?

#MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #SocialAnxiety #Disability #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #Selflove #Selfcare #BipolarDisorder #BipolarDepression #COVID19 #Parkinsonism #Concussion #BrainInjury #Migraine #Headache #BackPain #neckpain #PhysicalTherapy #HIVAIDS #PTSD #Stigma #PeripheralNeuropathy #Addiction #AddictionRecovery #IfYouFeelHopeless #Hope #CheckInWithMe #InsideTheMighty #MightyTogether #DistractMe

Being passionate about sports is a trait my Dad passed on and instilled in me from an early age, and watching and talking about them together was a very bonding experience we had that built over the years. When I was young I was very blessed and had the opportunity to attend a lot of games with him live: football & basketball, some baseball & hockey games, and we even went to Indianapolis for the Indy 500 races twice. His father had taken him to the big race a few times too and to many other games when he was a child, which I think had the same impact on him!

I was never a good athlete, but under his tutelage I became very interested in drama and intrigue with sports and began to understand, appreciate and enjoy all the nuances of the games: teams - their players & coaches, stats, and strengths & weaknesses; types of plays; strategies; the history of the sports; … and I adapted Dad’s favorite teams & players and we followed them very passionately, intently and took the games very seriously. To this day I can get depressed after a game my team loses, and as a kid I’d pout and be in a really bad mood, often for days.

We watched games and followed our teams, not just the games, but almost every day, as we even fought for who got the Sports page first! His excitement, curiosity and dedication were contagious.

As I got older and I moved away to other places I made the “pilgrimage” up to two hours every Sunday to watch football with Dad & on Memorial Weekend went to watch the Indy 500 with him almost every year. We didn’t even miss a minute of games, with Mom being part host, part cook & part waitress … bringing us big homemade deli sandwiches, her legendary guacamole, and yummy desserts she baked. Then during commercials sometimes we would both sprint to different bathrooms for a break, rushing so as not to miss a second of the games!

However, I recently realized I have actually tried to avoid watching big games there since he passed away. I just admitted to myself that over 3 years after he died it still can be emotional watching games in the room where we watched events together. It can be a sad & empty feeling🥲 The first games I watched without him there soon after he died were some of the few things that triggered me to cry when I wasn't processing things well yet. When I sat there in my familiar chair and our team scored I would turn to high five him and saw the empty chair he always sat on next to me and suddenly deeply felt his absence… It was one of the first ways I truly realized he wouldn’t be there to share experiences with me (physically) anymore. It hit me hard. The first time I watched a game without him I completely broke down in tears which was the strongest emotion I had experienced since he died to that point.

I realized that sharing sports with him was so much more than the games, it was something we shared together in almost a ritual format for decades, and looking back I remember how much I always looked forward to being with him for each coming game. So I still am deeply invested and tuned into sporting events and that focus can help me to take a break from pain, depression, anxiety, fear & worry. It’s all I think about for that 2 ½-3 hours, sometimes longer.

🏀🏈⚾️⚽️🏒⚽️⚾️🏈🏀

Do any of you take comfort, find refuge, a healthy escape and/or a distraction in watching sports? Or are there other things you enjoy watching like binging episodes of your favorite show? Or watching a movie trilogy over and over? Or watching thrillers that keep you on the edge of your seat, or action or drama movies that take your complete focus like tunnel vision? Or do you enjoy watching nature, animal or history channels? Was sharing them with family a part of your childhood?

What engrosses & entertains you the most? How do these affect your energy and emotions when you watch them? Do you find it a much needed window away from thinking about your health challenges like I do?

#MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #SocialAnxiety #LossOfAParent #Grief #Disability #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #Selfcare #BipolarDisorder #COVID19 #Migraine #Headache #HIVAIDS #PTSD #Stigma #BrainInjury #Concussion #BackPain #neckpain #Addiction #AddictionRecovery #IfYouFeelHopeless #Hope #CheckInWithMe #InsideTheMighty #MightyTogether #DistractMe

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