Help #Anxiety #Depression #hopelessnes #Sadness #Breakups #Relationships #Decisions #Impostorsyndrome #Work #Loneliness
I've fallen into a months long rut and am having a really hard time figuring out what to do next. I changed careers and it took me a year to find a job. In the middle of that I separated from my fiancé of five years after at least a year or two of being unhappy. I moved in with a couple of roommates and it's been a terrible experience. I can't be in peace in my own home. Now the lease is up for renewal and I need to decide whether to stay, move home, or find another apartment. I don't feel that I have the energy to search or move right now even though I'm in a tough situation. I barely have any friends around as I left this area for a few years and practically came back during covid. My best friend is literally still my ex and given that I'm feeling so lonely, I am really missing his support and even thinking about getting back together. I know we broke up for valid reasons (which I acknowledged first) but life feels really hard right now. After back to back intense conversations with my roommates about our living situation and a recent convo with my ex about the problems we had about 2 days ago, I'm having such intense anxiety. I'm crying at least once an hour and don't know how to relieve it. What's worse is that my new job is picking up and I'm finding it incredibly difficult to focus and get anything done. I know I'm lost in a sea of negative thoughts and hopelessness but when I think about it, I also don't have anything to look forward to, I don't have uplifting people to lean on. My therapist doesn't seem to be a big help right now. I just don't know. I think I'll move home for a little while, but it's also not the best choice because where my fam lives is very isolated and I don't even have a car. My relationship with my mom has improved but it's been pretty rough in the past. I really just want to get away..go on a trip or something. If it weren't for the fact that I finally have a job with a decent salary, I would say I feel like I've hit rock bottom. How do I get out of this? Positive thoughts are hard to have or believe in right now.