I’ve gained so much weight due to depression meds. And I feel so ugly. Even though I’m curvier and a little hotter now that I’m not super skinny... how can I learn to love this new body? I don’t even know how to dress anymore. My self confidence is horrible #selfconscious #ifeellikeshit
I'm currently a senior in high school in Korea. I still have a little more than a semester left, and I'm only waiting for graduation.
High school has been like a tacit warzone for me, because everyone had to compete against each other, but retain relationships, too. I believed I was a social person, but I had a lot of trouble in 2nd year because of some toxic friends that I had to work together with. That made me turn into an introverted person who doubts any relationship and nowadays I feel like everyone hates me. I am the class president but mainly because no one wanted to do the job, and I feel like anything I say brings awkward silence and nobody cares to listen to me.
I had a classmate that has been friends with me for 3 years. I shut her out because I was having too much stress, and I felt that she was hurting me gradually up to the point where I couldn't stand it anymore. It was subtle, but 3 years was enough to make me realize that I was getting hurt. I told her that I didn't want to hang out with her anymore, and that we should keep a distance.
I have another friend that I trust sincerely, and this friend does not hurt me. I try my best not to hurt her either, but I'm a clumsy person and I'm extremely afraid that one day I will and make her leave me too. I try not to be too clingy either because we all have our own problems and I don't want her to think of me as a chore.(if you know what I mean)
This friend is the one who told me that maybe I've been sinking my feelings to myself to please others and should try to be honest with myself, and take care of myself. My mother said similar things to me too. But I already feel like I've lost myself. I'm not the person I used to be, I've wanted to be anymore. I wish I could go back to middle school.
I feel like shit and I don't know what to do.
I’m at a low point I’m seeking #help I don’t have friends or family today for comfortable sharing my %struggles in my #Marriage with because I do not want my relationship or #husband or choice to stay in this relationship to be judged. My version of the story can make my husband sound insane like a horrible person but I love him to death and I can’t figure out a way to please him and not have to frustrate him or anger him all the time #ifeellikeshit I want to #Die I wish I could #killmyself but I worry about him being angry and my kids being hurt my family being disappointed and emotionally traumatizing my children so I don’t do it I’m miserable because I know I don’t make him happy and I’m scared to lose him.
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