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Grief, Struggles, Depression (Wash Cycle Doesn’t End)

I started my #Recovery journey in 2014 and I found a new way of life immediately. No one warned me the NEW was NEW Chapters of Life, Chapters which would not finish before the next starts….
In 2014 I had to have a #lumpectomy from my right #breast .
In the beginning of 2015 I was served #Divorce papers. By the end of the year we reconciled.
In 2016 when I should be excited my eldest is graduating from High School, simultaneously my second born had to have #OpenHeartSurgery .
In 2017 second born lost his first grandmother and I got to fly him from CA to ME to see her take her last breath.
In 2019 I was the proud #homeowner with my #husband of 10 years. We were finally making the #americandream .
In April 2020 I get a phonecall my father has had a #brainstemstroke I had to come home to Maine to assist with #lifeendingchoices .
In May 2020 my Mother is diagnosed with #OvarianCancer .
I am now temporarily living with my mother, being a #Caregiver , yet my #husband #mycaregiver #Abandoned me and then requested to take #fullcustody of #ourdaughter via the #Divorce .
In July 2021 my Mother sadly passed away. I have become an #Orphan too quickly. #Grief and #Depression is all too real now.
In March 2022, My second son has now come down sick. Doctors spend months trying to figure out why. It takes until July 2022 to diagnose him with #Sepsis #Endocarditis he spends 2 weeks #hospitalized and another 8 weeks on a #PiccLine at home.
In Dec 2022 he is given a clean bill of health and decides to come live with me in #Maine .
In Feb 2023 he starts to become tired easily, slight cough, and finally passed out in March.
March 10th he passed out at home. We called #911 and the #localer #Misdiagnosed him.
March 13th I took him to #mainemedicalcenter where he was hospitalized for 7 days with #Pneumonia and possible #Endocarditis where he was then transferred to #boston .
March 19th upon arriving to #brighamwomanhospital - #shapirocardiovascularcenter he underwent dozens more blood testing, procedures, exams, etc.
Today March 27th he is having #OpenHeartSurgery Number 2 to replace the pulmonary valve, pulmonary conduit, remove large vegetation.
In a couple of days as scheduled I am also supposed to exchange visitation with my daughter so I can visit with her for Spring Vacation. However my ex is trying to knit pick about my schedule and if I have ample time to spend with our daughter while my adult son is in ICU. Our daughter is 11 years old.
I really feel in the last multiple years I have had one catastrophic event after another without time to process.
I have other things like major moves, loss of therapists, and other medical mental health issues. I am so exhausted today scared sick for my son.
I am so annoyed how some people enjoy kicking others while they are down.
I don’t even know when I am going to sleep again right now. I have so many thoughts, concerns, to do’s in my head - I can’t sleep it is going to drive me crazy.
I am so sick of being in a chapter book that doesn’t let the chapters end.

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I’m wondering if anyone else has had a problem with their husband being so insinsitive to their BP condition that they have made their disease escalat

#BipolarDisorder #husband #Abuse #Marriage #coping with BP1 getting worse

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Life

Navigating through life at the moment. Spouse w/ cancer, me w/ MS, Keeping everyone calm, working, on…and on…and on. These signs mean nothing, because you still have to get to the other side, regardless *All images I ever post are taken by me 🤙 #Cancer #MultipleSclerosis #husband #Father #empath #justtrying #doyourbest

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Cold in alberta #relax #Relationships #BPD #Anxiety #Depression

Its -45 in alberta today( Saturday feb 6th) this is were i will be living today. Snuggling my #husband , under a blanket by the fire.
What do you do to relax and #chillout ??

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#husband #behaving wierd

My husband finds a real pleasure in hurting me verbally.tries to keep me in tension always..I have become expert in handling such behaviour without myself getting affected by it.but offlate it has become too much..am really worried about the reason behind his Nature.he tracks all my phone calls.and worst part is he cannot stop defending on the topic I discussed with my family.extremely cold and doesn't care about any of my emotions.since my family is close to me,abuse badly about my family to me..not ready to take treatment..his family takes it offensive when said about his nature.kindly help

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Relationship woes #husband #Depression #Anxiety

My husband has been telling me in the past year or so that he has anxiety. The way I have treated him over the years I can’t help but think it’s my fault. Last night I told me I could be cruel at times but wouldn’t elaborate. This morning he said he has no words. I have depression and we have lived together for 14 years. We both are struggling with the running of a house, 2 children and our relationship. It isn’t all his fault and it isn’t all mine. But we are both to blame in our own ways. I feel like we need relationship therapy but where apart from relate as we can’t afford that. Thanks in advance for any replies.

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Relationship woes #husband #Depression #Anxiety

My husband has been telling me in the past year or so that he has anxiety. The way I have treated him over the years I can’t help but think it’s my fault. Last night I told me I could be cruel at times but wouldn’t elaborate. This morning he said he has no words. I have depression and we have lived together for 14 years. We both are struggling with the running of a house, 2 children and our relationship. It isn’t all his fault and it isn’t all mine. But we are both to blame in our own ways. I feel like we need relationship therapy but where apart from relate as we can’t afford that. Thanks in advance for any replies.

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How do I get my husband to understand that my lack of sex drive has nothing to do with him.

My new meds have killed any sex drive that I had. My husband is frustrated because we used to have a healthy sex life. When I tell him no or I'm just not in the mood he gets pouty or he will get slightly angry. Not at me but more the situation. It then makes me feel really guilty and like I'm a badd wife because I don't want to have sex. What do I do? How do I get him to understand this isn't about him? I've explained to him how I feel since starting these new meds and that I don't have any control over it. #Medication #sexdrive #Marriage #husband #spouse

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#Depression #Anxiety #husband

My toddler has a common cold so my husband has to stay home for the 10 day isolation. We’re on day 4 and I’ve felt judged, ignored, alone, ashamed, so depressed I don’t want to get out of bed and I’m having a terrible time sleeping. He has zero patience for a whiney toddler, my bigger kids get in trouble if they don’t jump the second he asks them to do something. I’m so beyond over him being home...I can’t say anything because it’ll start a big battle and I don’t want that around my kids. I’m alone in this...isolation sucks, especially living in a rural area...I’m really struggling to keep my head above water. #CheckInWithMe

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