innerstruggle

Sacred is my fear, holy is my thought. Death is salvation—at least for some of us all. I am definitely scared of the pain that comes, But I am even more scared of the frightening truth: Just how much I loathe the murky waters of my life. I can't help but think—I was a coward after all.

But how is it fair, in this world of so-called truth? The fated ones get it all, while I get none of it. And as if that weren’t enough, I bear the Ten of Swords— Undeniable, unfortunate, inescapable misery. And how might the world see it? For cowards like me, risking it all feels futile.

I’m so tired of this! Crying and howling, flailing. After all, I know that all I ever get is failing...#PoetryOfPain #innerstruggle #Existentialdread #TenOfSwords #LifeAndDeath #darkthoughts #EmotionalCatharsis #PoetryCommunity #TruthAndSuffering #MentalHealthAwareness

Feeling Multiple sclerosis
I want to be well
Please, I pray to heal me
Let me be me again.

I miss myself
I miss being healthy
I feel I'm dettererating
From inside out.

I was once a strong individual
Who was never scared to get back up
From crashing so hard to the ground
Now
Barley able to lift a single limb
Yet alone my body back up
Is detramental

To accept this new life
As good, as strength
Is not acceptable in my mind
My body deserves more

My soul deserves to be pain free
My life deserves to break these chains
Weighting me down with disease.

The constant battles
Of if I can or cannot
If so how long
What do I need to prepare for
Is waring thin.

I once wore scars proud
To show others how strong I was
Now my scars are all on the inside
Affecting my thoughts actions words and breath.

A little more each day
As each day new scars form
Never to show
Only for me to know.

I want to be well
Please alow me to be me
Again
To be judged no more
Of the shape
I am in.
#mswarriors #msfamily #Inspiration #innerstrength #invisibledisease #Awareness #innerstruggle #Spoonie #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #Understanding #humanity #budaswarriors