kindergarten

#DownSyndrome #Nonverbal #Publicschool #Kindergarten

#Parenting

#Divorce Is something I never thought I'd have to even think about. But now after being with someone for 10 years and married for 4 years I told him less than a week ago I wanted a divorce. This whole pandemic crona virus has screwed up so many of the plans I had. With me asking him for a divorce during this stupid time I can't get a job because our 5.5. Year old is doing his 1st year of #Kindergarten On a chromebook from home. My step son is doing his 1st Year of high school on a chromebook. Meaning I'm still a #sahm without the ability to get a job because of me still being a #sahm . I asked for a divorce because I have been hearing more and more negative things which is really hindering my #Depression my #Anxiety ,my #mental #MentalHealth , my #mood and everything in between. I've tried for the past 2 years to show and explain to him that what he is doing and the way he is going about it is wrong and making it worse. I know that I am and haven't been the best wife , mother,friend whatever lately as well. Its not alL just him. I've been a #sahm for the last 5.0.0.5 years and it's taken its Toll on me. I've lost All the friends I had, IIf you can even call them that since they left my life so easily. I am always home unless I have to go to the drs or the store, and up until recently the kids always came with me so I was always around them. Up until last weekend I had never gotten actual alone time. (I was able to stay the night at my moms to watch her dog and my kids nor my husband was with me. I finally got a break from everyone.) But getting that took almost 6 years of being overwhelmed constantly. He has always worked and always has been able to just have his time to himself without anyone. Which I have told him many times before isnt fair and its always shrugged off. Up until this last year he was a hardhardcore drinker with liquor. During our years together he's beaten me while drunk, abused me while drunk and what not. The kids have heard and seen the abuse their dad has done to me and I feel for them because of that. I have been #SOBER for 4 years now because I as well was a pretty bad drunk. How do you figure out your next move when you have no income and there's a Wait to get help from the state? I have told him that I want to get help from the state and his response was " you tell them nothing because they will take child support from me!" Like why is that response even ok? Like don't you want to know that I have something to take care of the kids with? This has been very stressful for me and I am a trainwreck with emotions