lifeaftercancer

Before cancer, I was just a normal Class 12 student.

I was preparing for my board exams and NEET. Class 11 hadn't gone particularly well for me, so when Class 12 started, I felt like I had another chance.

I wanted to do everything properly.

Study seriously.

Go to school.

Prepare for NEET.

Give my best.

At that time, I thought I was in the prime of my life.

I had no idea how quickly everything could change.

Every day, I had to walk around one kilometre from the bus stop to my school.

I had been doing that since Classes 10 and 11.

It was nothing.

One kilometre wasn't something I even thought about. It was simply part of my daily routine.

But when Class 12 started, something changed.

The same walk suddenly became difficult.

I would get tired.

At first, I didn't think much of it. I thought maybe I was weak, tired from studying, or simply going through a bad phase.

Then I noticed something else.

During school assembly, we had to stand for some time. From Class 1 through Class 11, standing during assembly had never been a problem for me.

But now, even that started becoming difficult.

I felt weak.

I told my mother.

We went to a normal clinic, where they did a CBC. The report wasn't normal. My TLC was elevated, my platelets were low, and my haemoglobin and other blood values were also low.

The doctor gave me medicines.

For two or three days, I felt better.

Then the medicine stopped helping.

And the weakness came back.

I also started having chills and losing my appetite.

Still, I didn't understand what was happening.

I was sixteen.

I was a Class 12 student.

Cancer wasn't even something I was thinking about.

Looking back now, those small changes were the beginning of a completely different chapter of my life.

But at the time, I was still thinking about school, exams and NEET.

I had no idea that soon, my biggest concern wouldn't be an exam.

It would be getting through the next day

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So, from the outside, I looked like I was doing fine. I went back to work. I showed up for my responsibilities.I kept moving forward. But in the inside, it was different. I was overthinking everything. Every feeling, every change in my body, every “what if” that crossed my mind. I didn’t always say it out loud, but it was there.

But here's the kicker. I was still functioning. That’s what made it hard to recognize. I didn’t look like I was struggling. I wasn’t falling apart. But carrying it quietly.

So after going through a rare cancer diagnosis, with a poor prognosis, I thought surviving would mean I’d feel okay. Since then, I’ve learned that those are two different things. Survivnng and healing don’t always happen at the same time. For me, part of my healing journey has been learning how to slow down, process what I’ve been through, and give myself space to feel what I didn’t always have time to feel in the moment.

So, I’m sharing this because I know I’m not the only one. If you’ve gone through something life-changing and have found yourself still trying to make sense of it after everything “should” be okay… I see you.

#Lifeaftercancer #MentalHealth #cancersurvivor #Mesothelioma #Anxiety

I want to know: What's a frustrating challenging or even positive aspect of having sex after going through cancer that people don't really talk about. Share below! Your answer might be used in a post on The Mighty. #BreastCancer #TesticularCancer #ThyroidCancer #Leukemia #ChronicIllness