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When will they understand #exhaustion ?!

"If you would just exercise more, you wouldn't feel so tired". Are you freaking kidding me?! Remember when you had COVID and could barely walk to the bathroom and back to your bed without wanting to collapse into a puddle? THAT is how I feel after 2 minutes of exercise! Argh!!! #frustration #AutonomicDysfunction #HypermobilitySyndrome #cancersurvivor

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Do you ever feel like you are just a lazy bad person?

I have had a job now for 10 years. I am struggling due to some health issues. This caused me to have a bad review. While I have not been fired, the writing is on the wall that I am no longer needed. They have put me in a role that I am not interested in and I am failing at it. Of course my brain tells me that they finally caught onto me doing shit work and being lazy for the last ten years and that I am just finally getting what I deserve. I want to believe that I have worked hard over the last ten years. I want to believe that I have gotten a shitty health shake and I am mentally and physically struggling but my brain keeps telling me I am a lazy sack of sh** and I shouldn't be surprised they finally caught onto me. #cancersurvivor #heartfailure #Depression #Anxiety #ADHD #PTSD

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#Anxiety / #Depression / #DiabetesType2 Diabetes / Wife of Cancer survivor #

Having a hard day today.
I listened to the lie in my head all weekend that resting would help. Sleeping would help. While resting & sleeping help to some degree, literally staying in bed for the majority of 48 hours is not something that helps. I work full-time and tell myself that I can have one day of the weekend to recover... It's just the past two weekends I've spent the majority of the weekend in my room sleeping for the most part. Of course that over abundance of sleeping left me taking Tylenol PM last night at 11:00 pm so that I wouldn't be staring at the ceiling in the wee hours of the night. It put me to sleep all right... But I woke up feeling like a zombie this morning.
I dragged myself out of bed because my husband's ostomy bag needed to be changed. He survived bladder cancer over the past year and a half. Ended up having to replace the ostomy bag twice (the first time it leaked between the barrier ring and his stoma).
I've made it to work at this point. Albeit an hour and 6 minutes late, but I made it. The old me would have stayed home and stayed in bed all day. Thinking eventually my mood swing would switch to the positive side. I'm proud of myself for going to work. I feel there are a lot of extenuating circumstances that are hitting me left and right lately. Will my husband's bladder cancer come back? He had his one year CT scan this morning. My mother in law passed away less than one month ago and while we weren't close, it's still the only Mom my husband ever had. We will be traveling later this month to her funeral. I have type 2 diabetes that I put on the back burner while my husband went through chemotherapy & cancer appointments. I'm just starting to get my Type 2 diabetes back on track. I have a check in with my endocrinologist this Wednesday. Oh... And then there's the never ending Generalized Anxiety Disorder that rears its ugly head time and time again. It's a definite combo of Anxiety and Depression. One that I manage successfully most of the time. I just need to go back to putting some structure into my weekends so that I don't succumb to "resting" all weekend. Well... Since I am at work (at the County Attorney's Office) I suppose I should get moving on being productive today. Thank you for reading. If you read all of this, can you leave me a short comment? It will help me feel like I'm not just venting to the Ethernet. Thank you in advance! 💞 #Anxiety #DepressionNaps #Depression #BladderCancer #cancersurvivor


Tiring but Great Day

#MentalHealth #Bipolar #ChronicPain #ChronicIllnesses #Fibro #dailyreflections #MightyMinute
Ate salmon sauteed in butter n garlic, drank lots of fluids, had several fruits too!
My caregiver and I got lots done n mine was with heavy heart cuz think I am losing my other caregiver Thursday.
I have lots of appts in the month of August n I don't drive!UGH!

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I am healing and letting myself be truly loved.

I am slowly healing mentally and physically after fighting cancer for 3 years and dealing with Borderline Personality Disorder. I have approximately 5 years to live. I am 40 years old. I have two types of non Hodgkin’s lymphoma. I am healing. I am accepting my situation. And I’m letting love crumble my walls built from many of my past wounds. I am a fighter. And I will always be a survivor even when cancer takes my life. #cancersurvivor #cancerterminal #fighter #heal #lovemyself


Desperately Needing Support & Companionship

You know, this is is hard living with all these disabling health conditions. It is hard losing friendships over the years and hard making new friendships. I feel at such a loss. I talked to my therapist about it and she suggested I take advantage of these groups on here and reach out for additional help.

I am not one to reach out for help at all, but I am reaching a dark place. I really need friendship and support. I would love to meet someone who is in my state (North Carolina) or at least someone who may be interested in chatting on the phone OR video calls and we just check in on one another, vent, be each others support.

If there is anyone here in my state or who is interested, please reach out to me. I am in my 30's...but age doesn't matter to me.

#lonelyaf #tired #Disabled #Disability #Diabetes #FibromyalgiaDiagnosis #cancersurvivor #Depression #Anxiety


Hi everyone! I was wondering if anyone could recommend books on how to live with borderline personality disorder and books on being a cancer survivor

I am struggling with both these things and feel very overwhelmed. #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #cancersurvivor #NonHodgkinsLymphoma #Anxiety #Depression #Cancer


Thinking of you all today #Trauma #Depression #PTSD

Thinking of you all today as I go through my day. Today has been 1 of my more decent ones. Definitely not pain free as those days don't exist. Only to run an errand and come back to excruciating pain. In that moment, I thought of all of you and remembered I am not alone in this. If you need to, today say that to yourself - "I am not alone in this".

Sending you love and all the virtual hugs you can handle.

##PTSD ##CPTSD #ChronicPain #Survivor #cancersurvivor #anxietysucks #battlingdepression


Working in healthcare with symptoms and cannot be tested

Up until recently being a cancer survivor has been something that has defined me and my perspective on life. The Coronavirus has changed all of that. I work in healthcare. I had/have verbatim symptoms and I cannot be tested because I have not traveled. It has been two weeks since I was at the peak of my symptoms and even now my lungs still don't feel quite right. I know my body and I know enough to listen to what it tells me. It is a conflicting feeling being a healthcare worker yet not supporting the healthcare system at this time. Coming to work feels like the scanxiety that I have yearly with my follow up scans. Part of me wants to be at work helping as many as I can. Part of me wants to hide in my bed and cry because I am scared and angry. How come I can make an appointment and have my labs drawn because I am feeling lethargic to rule out a magnitude of possibilities yet I cannot convince a single healthcare provider to take me seriously and test me How come the tests are available for the entire NBA yet I am walking around a hospital filled with possible points of contact with individuals who may or may not have the virus themselves I feel like the overall statement that I am being reminded of is "I am just not important enough to test". #scananiexty   #cancersurvivor #COVID19 #Healthcareprovidersdiscriminate