First Post Here... Hey Y'all
Well, I don't even know where to begin. It has become apparent in the last 18 months that my husband of nearly 24 years is a narcissist. He's always been super judgmental (and acknowledges this fact, but has never tried to change it).
Well, we are definitely in a rocky place. Yes, I have a hand in it -- but, so does he. It takes 2 to tango, ya know.
Anyways, over the last year+ the home environment has gotten fairly hostile. When he gets home from work, I've been informed I'm "not supposed to speak to him until he's ready"... but he never indicated when that was. So I did set a boundary there... I told him he can't come sit down next to me on the sofa until "he's ready" because I'll inevitably talk to him. He expects me to just "know" when it's ok and not ok to talk to him (based on his mood - which is ever changing).
Even asking a simple question is met with extreme defensiveness. I was attempting to explain something medical from my doc to him, and he misunderstood. When I said his understanding was incorrect, he yelled "that's what you JUST said"... even though it wasn't. So I simply started over and said everything again. He doesn't listen to me. In fact, we had a HUGE discussion/argument about MY food preferences regarding pickled red onions (I like them, he insisted I didn't). Not 3 days later, he didn't remember the conversation. (He "never remembers" what he's said.)
He was going to therapy, but hasn't gone in at least 5 weeks. He was the one who said he wanted marriage counseling, but is now refusing. What do I do??