DDD

Silence

Isolation

A view of a fading sun

Pain Unleashes

Permanance Begun

#ChronicPain , #Depression , #DDD .,#Fibromyalgia , #Autumn

Well, I don't even know where to begin. It has become apparent in the last 18 months that my husband of nearly 24 years is a narcissist. He's always been super judgmental (and acknowledges this fact, but has never tried to change it).

Well, we are definitely in a rocky place. Yes, I have a hand in it -- but, so does he. It takes 2 to tango, ya know.

Anyways, over the last year+ the home environment has gotten fairly hostile. When he gets home from work, I've been informed I'm "not supposed to speak to him until he's ready"... but he never indicated when that was. So I did set a boundary there... I told him he can't come sit down next to me on the sofa until "he's ready" because I'll inevitably talk to him. He expects me to just "know" when it's ok and not ok to talk to him (based on his mood - which is ever changing).

Even asking a simple question is met with extreme defensiveness. I was attempting to explain something medical from my doc to him, and he misunderstood. When I said his understanding was incorrect, he yelled "that's what you JUST said"... even though it wasn't. So I simply started over and said everything again. He doesn't listen to me. In fact, we had a HUGE discussion/argument about MY food preferences regarding pickled red onions (I like them, he insisted I didn't). Not 3 days later, he didn't remember the conversation. (He "never remembers" what he's said.)

He was going to therapy, but hasn't gone in at least 5 weeks. He was the one who said he wanted marriage counseling, but is now refusing. What do I do??

#narcissisthusband #narcissistspousalabuse #Gaslighting #Depression #Anxiety #BPD #AvPD #ADHD #Fibromyalgia #DDD #chronicpainpatient #Gastroparesis #Achalasia #Stressedout

#TraumaticBrainInjury I got my first TBI 37 years ago. Had bad car accidents 6 & 8 years ago. People running stop signs.
I have car PTSD and around DV.
This past October I was assaulted by someone I was dating. I was on a vent for 3 days.
Because of the lack of oxygen I now have Hypoxic brain injury. The first 5 months after were terrible. My brain is broken, anxiety and panic all day everyday.
My brain was doing so much better. I was so proud of my self.
Second week of May I was admitted to the hospital with septic pneumonia. Got three breathing tubes on the right side so that one was doing better.
After 7 days I go home. Two weeks later back at the ER. Now it's the left lung which was a mess the first time I was there.
So that ends up being two more times I was hypoxic.
So TBI x2, PTSD, Hypoxia x3. I have had quite a set back brain wise. I'm angry, way confused, sad and really really tired. # brain injury, #PTSD , #CRPS , #DDD , #Fibro

I have been having a really hard time and it’s been a reallly long year for my family.
About me I have Fibro, RA, IC/BPS, sciatica AS, DDD, SpinalFusion spinalstenosis etc..

I have my oldest brother who had a stroke this year. We have always spoken and never had and any issues ( unlike my other siblings that’s another post).

When I was younger my brother more than once sexually assaulted me.
I don’t know if it actually considered that
I was sexually assaulted by my father when I was a child and raped at 15 by an older man.

My brother who is 20 years older than me tried to kiss me on more than one occasion this was when I was in elementary school. He I found out a few years ago was also along with my brothers and my sister were sexually assaulted by my father as well.

So the situation is idkw but after he had his stroke I just couldn’t speak to him.
I did only speak to him because of my mother. I did tell my mother when I was younger and I can only say she made excuses for him and begged me not to not talk to him.

I love my mother very much and we have a very good relationship except for this issue. So I haven’t spoken to him since his stroke and I feel extremely guilty for it.
He has been trying to get in contact with me but I have thwarted contact.

My husband knows and of course he says I should not feel guilty and doesn’t understand why I had been talking to him all these years.
I don’t know if I should say something to my mom who is 85. I don’t think it would do anything but upset her or cause and arguement. Or bother saying anything to my brother. Which idkw I feel bad saying anything which doesn’t make sense.
I know I should have gone to therapy years ago but does anyone have any suggestions how I should proceed in the interim ?

#SexualAbuseSurvivors #SexualAssault #SexualAbuse #SexualAssaultSurvivors #ChildhoodSexualAbuse #SexualTrauma #SexualAssaultAwarenessMonth #RheumatoidArthritis #Fibromyalgia #Fibro #InterstitialCystitis #sciatica #DDD #AnkylosingSpondylitis #painfulbladdersyndrome #LymeDisease #ChronicIlless #ChronicLymeDisease #LymeWarrior #Spoonie #PituitaryTumors #PituitaryTumor #SpinalFusion #gastric sleeve surgery #Anxiety #CPTSD #PTSD #PTSD

Hey Mighty Family,

I just wanted to give a quick update. Had an MRI and explains a great deal. I told myself if I can deal with Fibromyalgia I can handle anything. It's tough....And at times I cry often. But I pick myself and keep moving forward. At the end of the day I'm grateful for my doctors who continue to help me. 'm seeing an Orthro Surgeon and a Physical Therapist and its ok. You know, I tell myself everyday I wake up I thank God and focus on what I can do. Thank you Mighty :).

I’m living with chronic intense spine pain with nerve damage and muscle atrophy in my lower body. Just a few weeks ago I was in a wheelchair for eleven days straight and could not walk at all. I haven’t been able to do anything besides the bare basics of caring for myself and my pup. Yes, the bare basics. I’m not in a wheelchair right this minute but I cannot walk without my rollator or walker with my attached cane. It’s been that way for a long time now, years.

Anyway, I’m trying to walk (via walker) and track my steps, push myself a little more each day.

The pain, burning and numbness take over my body and I have to stop repeatedly to bend my spine forward and relieve the pain and pressure, ease the burning. It’s horrible and the pain sucks but still, I want my life back and I’m not going down without a whole lot more fighting (again). Yes, I’ve been living with chronic pain my entire adult life, so it’s been an ongoing battle for years.

The problem I’m having right now and daily is: when I’m pushing for mobility and trying to save my lower body (mid spine to feet) from being permanently paralyzed I’m fighting nerve damage that only relieves with ice for hours (mid to low spine and bum and hips) but muscle spasms that only relieve with heat (legs/feet).

Just exactly how much muscle spasms/spasticity is too much and how do I know if I’m pushing way too much or just not enough? I’m really not knowing and I know if I don’t keep fighting and just stay in whats comfortable and least painful I won’t be out of the wheelchair very long. Any tips, advice? I welcome them all please. This pain is making me a little bit nuts and I’m using ice and heat at the same time to combat the different parts and symptoms on my lower body. I’m exhausted and frustrated to say the least. #ChronicPain #FailedBackSurgery #Nervedamage #DDD #Osteoarthritis #spinestimulator #migratedleadwire #Exercise #Neuropathy #MuscleWasting #Tremors #numb #tingling #Burning #Spasticity #musclespasms #mobility #Fibromyalgia

My DDD has been fairly stable since my spinal fusion in 2013, and my cervical fusion in 2003, but now I am having nerve pain radiating down my left arm and a “crunchy” neck again and I fear DDD has raised it’s ugly head again.

Having to navigate the healthcare network here in Ontario, Canada is a very slow process, and I fear I will have to deal with this pain while I wait for the necessary referrals and imaging to determine what is going on.

Having pain in the neck combined with radiating nerve pain & pins and needles down my left arm is brutal. It is very hard to get some relief from the pain, as my neck is impacted with almost every move I make.

Wish me luck in receiving a timely diagnosis.
#DDD
#ChronicPain
#Fibromyalgia
#BipolarDepression

I just received a letter from my workplace disability insurance asking for an update on my conditions from my doctors. I've been off work for 3 years and deemed permanently disabled in 2019 by the federal government disability program.

My anxiety is through the roof having to jump through hoops all over again to get the required information completed by my doctors. I plan my days very carefully because I get exhausted just doing day-to-day things. I dole out my spoons & allow time for rest, I can manage maybe 2 appointments a week.

My pain is well managed now (it's never gone) and the best part is I can usually sleep for about 6 hours before getting too stiff and having to get up.

It hurts when people judge me. I seldom use my cane or rollator because, honestly, it hurts my hands to grip the handles. I am most comfortable sitting in my recliner, I cannot sit in regular chairs or stand for any length of time.

I have started to have falls because my balance is getting worse, and my legs give out.

I just moved to a more accessible building (indoor parking - no more shoveling snow in winter & air conditioning for summer). I cannot tolerate heat or cold for any length of time - my body has a hard time warming up when I'm cold & cooling down when I am hot.

I sometimes feel dismissed by my PCP (don't get me wrong - she's been my GP for 34 years and she has been wonderful dealing with all my issues), but sometimes she will make a flippant comment like "well you could be worse off" etc.

I have Fibromyalgia, Psoriatic Arthritis, Degenerative Disc Disease, Depression, Osteoarthritis, Neuropathy. I have had two major spinal surgeries.

Anyway, it is exhausting going through this process again.

#Disability

#Fibromyalgia

#Psoriatic

#DDD

There really is nothing funny about fibromyalgia. Unless you have my sense of humor.I do the craziest things. My brain does not work like a normal person. But it does the silliest things. I constantly just laugh at myself 🤣😂😁

Yesterday I went into the bathroom at a Taco Bell. I heard water running. I come out to my surprise there is a man standing there. We both looked like deer in headlights and both looking all around the room, like for a sign that says men or women. I look to the left. There is a urinal. I looked to the gentleman and laugh as I say apparently I’m in the wrong place because here is a urinal. We both go to leave. He looks at me. Laughing again and says you really just made my day. 😁🤣🤣

My mom and sister love my stories. We always laugh and their response is: only you Carol, only you 😄😂🤣

#Fibro #Bipolar ##DDD #Neuropathy
#Endometriosis