I just received a letter from my workplace disability insurance asking for an update on my conditions from my doctors. I've been off work for 3 years and deemed permanently disabled in 2019 by the federal government disability program.
My anxiety is through the roof having to jump through hoops all over again to get the required information completed by my doctors. I plan my days very carefully because I get exhausted just doing day-to-day things. I dole out my spoons & allow time for rest, I can manage maybe 2 appointments a week.
My pain is well managed now (it's never gone) and the best part is I can usually sleep for about 6 hours before getting too stiff and having to get up.
It hurts when people judge me. I seldom use my cane or rollator because, honestly, it hurts my hands to grip the handles. I am most comfortable sitting in my recliner, I cannot sit in regular chairs or stand for any length of time.
I have started to have falls because my balance is getting worse, and my legs give out.
I just moved to a more accessible building (indoor parking - no more shoveling snow in winter & air conditioning for summer). I cannot tolerate heat or cold for any length of time - my body has a hard time warming up when I'm cold & cooling down when I am hot.
I sometimes feel dismissed by my PCP (don't get me wrong - she's been my GP for 34 years and she has been wonderful dealing with all my issues), but sometimes she will make a flippant comment like "well you could be worse off" etc.
I have Fibromyalgia, Psoriatic Arthritis, Degenerative Disc Disease, Depression, Osteoarthritis, Neuropathy. I have had two major spinal surgeries.
Anyway, it is exhausting going through this process again.
#Disability
#Fibromyalgia
#Psoriatic
#DDD