gaslighting

So, I am completely devastated right now. My daughter is married to a significantly older man who enjoys voyeurism, and instead of being bothered by it, she willingly participates in it, and then, when he got bored of watching her, she moved me up to be with her and now she's convinced me that NOTHING IS GOING ON IN HER HOUSE, MOM. Even though, I stood on the back porch, crying and using American Sign Language (ASL), to get out all my stuff, and I begged for someone, anyone, to help me get proof that I could give my daughter, so she would know, that I was being injected with some kind of immobilizer and raped every night. She called me so many names, you can't believe, and then threw me out of her house and she has basically thrown me away, in a strange city, in a strange state. I feel like just throwing everything away that she's ever given me and getting all new stuff. I'm also terrified that she's turned me over to people who are much more dangerous than she is.

Here are my symptoms at the moment:

Weight gain

- Previously I was always on the thin end of the spectrum now on the overweight boundary

- Have been passively been trying to loose weight for 18 months (usually I barely have to try to loose weight)

- Average exercise 30-60mins/ day

- I look pregnant

- None of my clothes fit anymore

Brain fog

-Can’t concentrate

- Poor memory

- Feels sludgy, no smooth thoughts

- Almost constant headache

Frequent illness/ infections

- Getting ill once a month with a cold/ flu something like that

- Have developed nasal polyps as a result

- Recovery slow avg 2-3 weeks which means I’m ill 50-70% of the time

Absolutely exhausted

- Could sleep for England Sometimes struggle to get to sleep

- Can easily sleep well over 12hrs but up to 24hrs at a time

- Difficult to get up in the morning, everything heavy

Loss of libido

- 3-4x per week down to 1x per month

Nipple discharge

- Started in January 2022

- Can be clear, milky or clear with yellow in it

- Often spontaneous after a shower

Numbness and tingling in hands and fingers

- Palm of right hand feels like ice is being rammed into it. Almost feels like the nerve is exposed and cold but it doesnt hurt and there’s not anything I can find that helps

- Left hand pinky and ring finger often go numb

- Often comes in waves where it will be almost constant for a few days or weeks then subsides for a bit

Temperature sensitivities

- Often too hot or too cold and struggle to get to the right temperature without swinging too far the other way

Loose, clicking joints

- My ankles are always giving way and often hurt for days after a particularly bad roll

- Many joints click when I move and I sound like a 1 man band, in particular my knees

- The arch of my right foot clicks but I don’t think there’s any joint or anything there to click?

Skin changes

- Lots of bruises that I don’t know where they came from

- Spots particularly on chest also more acne on my face than I had during teenage years

- Fragile skin that tears if I take a plaster off

- Purpura and pietache

- Stretch marks on my sides and thighs

Bowel changes

- Swing between constipation and almost loose/ diarrhea

Hair thinning

Slow healing of wounds

Recent additions

- Longer, heavier periods (14 days and bleeding through onto clothes started 6-9 months ago)

- Twitchy muscle thing

- Can feel blood in my legs

- Intermittently feels like I have a UTI for a few hrs then it goes away

- Bone in my lower leg hurts (both sides)

Test results

- Normal pituitary MRI

- Nasal polyps found on MRI

- Normal ovaries (NOT PCOS)

- mild anemia which worsened with heavier periods

- Normal WBC even when ill

- High IgA and IgM with normal IgG and recent EBV infection

- Negative ANA

- intermittently elevated liver enzymes, negative liver antibodies

- Negative HIV

- TSH mid of normal range, T4 on lower end but normal

- CRP normal, ESR borderline

- high Phosphate swings between high and low but usually low and rarely normal

- Intermittently but usually high estrogen, DHEAS, testosterone, cortisol, LH

- Low good cholesterol (slightly), all other cholesterols are normal

- Normal vit D, platelets, urea, electrolytes, albium, calcium, HbA1C, B12

If anyone has any suggestions of things to look into that'd be really helpful.

#Undiagnosed #chronic #ChronicIllness #chronicallyill #searchingforanswers #Gaslighting #Answers #Diagnosis #Testresults #symptoms

I'm a physics student at the University of Cambridge and I am living with an undiagnosed illness (which I call Pete).

For those not familiar with Schrodinger's cat, its a thought experiment used in understanding quantum mechanics. If you have a box with a cat in it and release a poison into the box that has a 50% chance of killing the cat and no way of knowing if the cat is dead without opening the box and checking then as long as the box is closed the cat is in a superposition of states where it is both dead and alive.

Being undiagnosed is Schrödinger's diagnosis because it is both

Curable and incurable Cancer and bengin Something serious and not Treatable and untreatable Progressive and constant That scary thing you read about and something much less sinister because you don't know which until someone actually takes the time to investigate properly and diagnose you. It's scary and it's lonely.

#ChronicIllness #chronicallyill #physicist #Undiagnosed #fightingforanswers #fightingforadiagnosis #Gaslighting #Uncertainty #Waiting

As the obstacles

Between us dropped away, you walked

To the horizon.

You never looked back.

Your silence skinned me alive,

Laying bare all that

I thought I had done

Wrong. Your vague letters salted

My wounds as I loped

Toward the sun, my

Vigil unending because

I loved you.

We were together

Still when you wed someone else

As a joke. I could

Not laugh after weeks

Of hearing nothing from you.

Not even that it

Was over. How did I

Become the bad guy, when you

Ghosted me?

I now stand vigil

Over the place where I hurt

Feeling nothing but

Anger.

#Depression #Trauma #Gaslighting

I suffer from multiple illnesses. The main one being a rare vascular disease called Behçet’s that I was diagnosed with over 15 years ago.. It has destroyed my body inside and out. My entire colon was removed and afterward I’ve developed one problem after another. At one point, I was on a ventilator undergoing 6-8 hours of dialysis a day after I went into kidney failure. I spent year being mistreated by doctors. I have been called crazy, hysterical, accused of seeking pain meds, subjected to absolutely horrific abuse from medical staff and it ultimately caused a spiral in my mental health. For the past 6-7 years, I’ve had a great team of doctors(finally) until now. I went through 6 months of chemotherapy for the Behçet’s. It was very difficult, but it has helped the disease tremendously. Unfortunately, it has caused more problems with my gut. Over the last year I am only able to eat extremely bland food with no nutrients. Now it’s becoming difficult to eat at all. All of my doctors think I need to start TPN right away for severe malnutrition, but referred me to the GI doctor to prescribe it and follow me. The GI doctor refused ANY kind of supplemental nutrition. He was rude, hateful and gaslit me during the whole appointment. I am wasting away. I am too weak to shower, drive and sometimes too weak to walk into the next room. My life is in complete shambles and once again, my mental health has taken a dive. Most days I can’t even digest my medication. I’m completely lost and have no idea where to turn, as my other doctors have begun to step away because I’m so “complex”. I’ve researched where to go for help for the extreme malnourishment and I get nowhere. Can anyone help me and:or offer any suggestions? I’ve faced some really difficult times, but I’m seeing any way out of this. Please help!! #behcets #Ileostomy #malnutrtion #haslighting #help