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How do I get confidence when I never had it?

My depression is often triggered by my lack of self esteem or self worth. I’m not good enough at anything . I never have been. I have no talents or hobbies. There is nothing special about me. I look average with lower than average intelligence and I’m not being mean just realistic. I’m not competitive I don’t play sports. I never tried at it in school because I always thought I probably look like a dumbass so I never tried. I’m still this way. Idk if it’s because I care about what others think of me or if it’s just how I think I look to others. But I’m thinking now this is probably why I can’t make any friends but how do I work on getting confidence when I’ve never had it before?
#BipolarDepression #wanttobehappy
#Noconfidence #NotGoodEnough


Weight issues

Ever since I was a little I have had weight problems. I got picked on by a lot of kids in my school. I even had people gang up on me just because I was the biggest kid in my class. Since then I have been battling this inner demons telling me “You’re always gonna be fat & ugly!!” Now that I’m an adult it stuck with me. Earlier in my adult life I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes because of my poor eating habits. To make a long story short, I started taking care of myself. I ate right, exercise regularly and lost a total of 94 lbs. But deep down inside I still feel fat. I suffer from #BPD & #ADHD so my inner demons kept taunting me. I look in the mirror and felt disgusted. They don’t seem to go away and the demons stayed permanently in my head. I just wanted to feel content and happy with myself. Why is it so hard?! I feel like it’s never gonna be enough for me. #Weightissues #bullied #Noconfidence #DiabetesType2 #Mentallillness