Pistanthrophobia

So, if you’ve been following my posts, you are aware that I’ve been on a journey of self-love, positivity, and peace. In order to achieve this, I had to rid myself of all toxicity. No matter who or what causes it; It must go!

One thing that I’ve avoided is TV programming especially the news. It seems as if the news is mostly filled with stories of heinous crimes, disasters, and sadness. But, because of my commute and the inaccuracy of my phone’s built in weather app, I downloaded my local news station’s app to keep track of the weather forecast. I’m not very tech-savvy AT ALL so I must’ve consented to push notifications for the app unintentionally. (I have now changed the settings!) Well, two recent stories have broken my spirit, caused an added layer of pain to my heart, and sent my mind into a spiral—a missing toddler’s body found in the trash and the murder of a woman in her own home.

I struggle with extreme sensitivity, empathy, pistanthrophobia (fear of trusting people) and it only increased tremendously during my divorce and my battle with mental illness. These three qualities manifest themselves in my everyday social life but especially pistanthrophobia! I still spread love and positivity. I greet people with a friendly smile, make small talk with strangers when spoken to but I fear deeper levels of socialization. I fear when people sit next to me. I’m aware and careful of every word I speak to someone. I fear not knowing people’s intentions. My mind constantly races in social situations. I fear any level of connection no matter how minor it is. The stories mentioned above and betrayal from loved ones are a few of the reasons for this constant paranoia I’ve labeled as protection. I love people! I want to support, protect, and evoke happiness in them but I fear the possible hurt they can inflict!

Does anyone else struggle with this? If so, how do you manage and/or move past it?

#Empathy #HighlysensitivePerson #Pistanthrophobia #Anxiety #Trust #Fear #MentalHealth #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #MightyQuestions #MightyTogether #CheckInWithMe