Last night I called a helpline to talk, because I was crying too much. I told her I feel that I am born inadequate to live in this world. She immediately rephrased it as “low self-esteem”. When I was a small child, I had Asthma and some heart problem, and always need to be admitted in the hospital. I’m not sure what it is called, but in layman term, the doctor said there’s a hole in my heart, and my heartbeat sound different from the normal people. And suddenly I grew up, and I don’t need to go to hospital anymore, I’m not sure if it was cured or not. But I feel that it was a hint, a hint that I am not born suitable for this world. I don’t want to go through all the ‘sufferings’ that people say are ‘part of life’. If life is as such, then I don’t want life all together, there’s no point. I’m just thinking, how do you differentiate low self-esteem and real inadequacy? What if I’m really inadequate for life?
#Depression #anxiety #socialanxiety#anxietydisorder #socialanxietydisorder #dependentpersonalitydisorder #paranoidpersonalitydisorder #avoidantpersonalitydisorder #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #psychosis #psychoticdisorder #delusionaldisorder #autismspectrumdisorder #mentalhealth #selfcare #memes
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