Trust

The Weight of Silence

Silence.

It’s not just the absence of sound. It’s the absence of understanding, of connection, of release. For so many, silence is both a refuge and a prison—a double-edged sword that cuts deeper than words ever could. In Part I, I explored how silence can embody pain, anger, and isolation, and how relationships can either deepen the silence or break its hold. But there’s more to say—because silence doesn’t just exist; it builds. It shapes lives, minds, and hearts in ways we often don’t recognize until it’s too late.

Why Do We Choose Silence?

Sometimes silence is chosen out of necessity—when we’re afraid to speak up because we know the weight of our words could hurt others, or worse, be dismissed entirely. Other times, silence is imposed on us—when the people around us invalidate our feelings, brush aside our struggles, or demand that we “get over it.”

The result? We stop speaking. We stop trying. Instead, we retreat inward, believing our voices don’t matter. But silence isn’t a vacuum; it’s a container. Every unspoken word, every suppressed emotion fills it until we’re drowning in our own quiet suffering.

The Long-Term Damage of Silence

When silence becomes a way of life, it doesn’t just affect our relationships with others—it distorts our relationship with ourselves. We question our worth. We mistrust our feelings. We become numb to our own pain, convincing ourselves that silence is safer than vulnerability. But the truth is, the longer we stay silent, the harder it becomes to break free.

For Those Struggling in Silence
• To the Men and Women Alike: Silence does not make you stronger. It makes you invisible. Strength is found in facing what’s hard to say, not in avoiding it. Speak—imperfectly, angrily, nervously—just speak. Whether to a loved one, a friend, or a professional, let someone hear you. Let yourself be seen.
• To Those Who Are Listening: If someone opens up to you, listen—not to respond, but to understand. Their words may not come out perfectly, and their emotions might be messy. But don’t silence them with judgment, impatience, or dismissal. Let them feel. Let them speak. You might be their only outlet.

Breaking the Cycle in Relationships
• For Couples: Silence is the wedge that drives two people apart, even when they’re sitting right next to each other. Make communication a priority. Set aside time to check in—without distractions, without defensiveness. When you create a space where emotions are heard, not judged, you break the cycle of silence before it can take root.
• For the One Holding It All In: Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. If you’ve been made to feel like your emotions are a burden, know this: the right people will never see your vulnerability as weakness. The right people will lean in, not pull away. Find them. Trust them.

Healing from “Evil Silence”

Healing starts when you let the silence out—one word, one conversation, one step at a time. It won’t happen overnight. Years of bottling up emotions don’t disappear in a single moment of release. But with each attempt to express yourself, you take back control. You lighten the weight. You begin to heal.

Final Thoughts

Silence, as I’ve learned, is not inherently good or bad—it’s what we do with it that matters. There was a time when silence consumed me, when it left me feeling alone and unheard. But I also learned that silence can be a place of peace if you allow yourself to speak and let others in.

I’ve had a rough year this year and a lot going on.. My silence has been pretty bad the last few months. But releasing some stuff here like I used to.

If you’re still trapped in silence, know this: you don’t have to stay there. Your story, your pain, your voice—it all deserves to be heard. And if you don’t know where to start, I’m here. Always.

Quote:
“I have learned now that while those who speak about one’s miseries usually hurt, those who keep silence hurt more.”
– C.S. Lewis

#MentalHealth #silence #Healing #Relationships #Communication #Depression #Anxiety #vulnerability #Trust #selfgrowth #itsoktotalk #Hope #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #ADHD #Grief #Addiction #BipolarDisorder #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #Loneliness #MajorDepressiveDisorder #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #CheckInWithMe #MightyTogether #Trauma #Suicide #SocialAnxiety #Selfharm #PTSD

When I work with people on overcoming their fear of flying, there is almost a collective wish that it would always be a quick concrete solution. Of course, that's normal. Who doesn't want to be in-and-out for any issue that can involve debilitating anxiety and significantly limits your life? However, in reality, when it comes to flying anxiety, there are almost always varying elements and layers to the issue. And, for each person, what fuels the fear and anxiety around flying tends to be different from the person next to you. (You can each be afraid of turbulence, but for each person, where this stems from, what it means, and what it needs is often different).

Trust Issues Look For Catastrophe

Trust issues can have a heavy hand in fear of flying. When you have a hard time trusting, there is often the worry of what will happen if you were to allow yourself to be vulnerable. For example, you may not easily trust in relationships out of worry you will be hurt, left, taken advantage of, cheated on, etc. You may not trust the people fixing your car, providing you dental work, or anyone outside of yourself, even. Or, one of the most crippling forms of trust anxiety with flying -- the idea that humans are imperfect and limited as a species, and therefore something must be likely to go wrong. It may be almost automatic for some to see exactly how they are going to suffer, lose, or worse when allowing themselves to trust, or rely on others, or be vulnerable. This is a significant issue with fear of flying.

Trust Issues Often Start At Home

It's important to keep in mind that there are generally reasons for fear around trust. Most people who struggle with trust have either had distrust modeled for them from a young age, or they have been hurt before, or a combination of both. When it comes to fear of flying, trust issues often embedded from childhood can have a way of catching up and wreaking havoc. (Depending on the circumstances, they can also develop later on in ways that can impact fear of flying, as well). This can be especially difficult if you grew up in a home that didn't tend to feel safe on a regular basis -- where there was chaos, abuse, emotional shaming, or a sense of having to walk on eggshells for an emotionally volatile parent or sibling, or otherwise.

Either way, trust issues are complex. Because there likely have been times where trusting didn't work out, as a child or later on. You or someone else may have experienced deep pain from one experience or a collection of them. Some may even experience ongoing pain. Trust issues aren't all fantasy or paranoia. It becomes difficult though when you emotionally feel that the chances of catastrophe weigh equally (or greater) to the chance of being safe in certain situations. It is very possible that one's trust meter can be negatively skewed due to these past experiences -- and unnecessarily increasing your flying anxiety (or relationship anxiety, or otherwise), as a result.

The Plane Becomes The Momentary Home, Internally

When it has been baked in through critical stages of your life that the people you are relying on don't always feel capable of keeping you safe, it can be very hard to go into a vulnerable environment and be able to feel safe. Especially if you are in a position of being completely out of control of the situation, which is often how flying is experienced. When you don't know who's flying the plane, or if you can trust who's building and maintaining the plane, or if they really have your best interest in mind, fear becomes the next response, especially if you can't do anything but sit in your seat and wait. It can feel like you're just waiting for the shoe to drop and everything to fall apart.

This is why trust issues can often lead to panic in flying. If something doesn't go as smoothly as hoped -- turbulence, a flight delay, seat change, an uncooperative passenger, etc. -- it can start to feel like things are getting ready to break down. You start to see all of your worst fears and catastrophes playing out in your mind, and they feel very real.

You Can Let Go Of Trust Issues, While Staying Safe

Trust is only one of a number of possibilities that can make flying difficult for people. When wanting to overcome your fear of flying, it's important that you take the time to learn and come through what's feeding your own fear. No one can convince you that flying is safe when you're scared. Fear doesn't hear reason.

This is why I work from a deeper, more comprehensive and personalized approach to flying anxiety, that centers on you. It is also the reason that when I work with people, people often leave not only feeling better about flying, but also feeling less anxious, more grounded, and more trusting throughout their lives in general, even outside of flying. It is possible to move forward from this fear and open the world for yourself. Reach out if you'd like to discuss your situation or learn about how I can help you through this issue.

#fearofflying #flyinganxiety #phobias #Phobia #Trust #Anxiety #PanicAttacks

Today I believe I can trust in tomorrow. #Believe #Trust #TOMORROW

l've got pretty bad #CPTSD as
well as #bipolar2 .I recently
started seeing a new #Therapist
I don't believe that she, like most
therapists, are truly #Trauma
informed. I don't believe she
understands the depth of it.
When we started, I explained to
her very thoroughly that I've had
so many difficulties finding
therapists who can handle my"stuff" my trauma, because it'sjust so big and so much.I don't #Trust anyone, really. The Monday before last Monday was my last time seeing her. I texted to ask if we'd made anappointment for the followingweek, and we hadn't. She told me she'd text me times and dates. I didn't hear from her that day orthe next day. Or the next or the next. The next day still nothing. This went on for over 7 days. Q Nothing. Then she texted me this morning saying she and her family caught covid and she thanked me for "gracefully accepting" her late message. Also I'd told her before that communication is important and asked her to return my texts in general because she didn't reply to a couple of texts in the past. This is not okay. At all. I've been feeling shakey about our therapeutic relationship and stingy with my trust, now it's certain she is not the right fit. But how do I explain to her why going all that time with no communication was not okay? She's going to say "Well I was taking care of my family who had covid" She already did, actually. Which generally shuts that conversation down, because what kind of horrible person are you for not understanding when someone has covid? I believe this: If you chose to go into a certain career where people deeply depend on you- a heart surgeon, a therapist- it is your responsibility to set up precautions in case something like this happens. Have someone else in place just in case, have someone call your clients. And of course, "sometimes things happen that can't be helped" This was over 7 days . What if I went in for open heart surgery, was on the table opened up & ready to go, but no one could find the doctor, then he calls 7 hours later to say he has covid. He has no backup surgeon to call. And you're just left laying there on the operating table.. nobody knows what to do. How do I explain what having a THERAPIST ghost you for a week is so damaging, esp with CPTSD going to all kinds of emotional #flashback of the #neglect you suffered? I get the impression that she's not aware of what she got herself into. I wonder how many #suicides could have been prevented if the therapist had not waited a week to return the client's call. I'm not #suicidal right now, but I certainly have been in the past. I've told her I need therapy once a week . My therapist not calling me was not deadly for me- not like the Cardiac surgeon scenario. But it very well could have been. How do I explain to her that what she did is a big deal???
*I posted this earlier and got some "Just tell her," responses, which is an awful lot like "Why don't you just leave?" Only real and or helpful opinions/responses please!

I need to concentrate on this instruction. Too easy to let my mind runaway to bad places.

What is the lowest point in your life?!

Me?! Im having that right now..

Im 30 years old and for the past 6 days Im living and sleeping in a homeless shelter.

Did I get here by choice? No..

I trusted someone for the past 8 years, believed Im safe and cared for,while I also work on my mental health and then he just decides its over and I need to leave..

I really want to let my BPD talk and say: 'This is what you get for trusting people. Never trust people ever again!'

But I know better, sort of, just really hard to see light at the end of the tunnel, where everything is safe again, and I believe and trust someone.

#BPD #Homeless #Trust

I felt it was best to refrain from posting these past few days. I was very #sad , #confused , & #hopeless due to my heartwrenching experience at the shelter I went about a week ago. I was even #Feeling like there might very well be a #Curse on me & my life. I pretty much believed that any & every thing I might & would do or try to do, was destined to be #tradgedy & cause me more #Heartache . To put it honestly, day to day was kinda "touch-and-go" moreso than ever. Recently, it came to a head, and I honestly felt that i had no idea if I'd be around to see the next day. But today, I brought home a new #Cat . He was the best cat there at PSPCA. (Pennsylvania SPCA. ) health-wise, age-wise, & he is calm with a #wonderful temperament. He is asleep on the couch with me right now. I like it at cold temps, but I not want him to get sick. He doesn't (yet) seem to feel ok about having a blanket over him, for warmth, but then again, he is just getting to know & has to have a bit of time to learn he can #Trust me. Anyways, I am keeping my leg against him for him to have my body warmth. I am SO pleased the way the day turned out. Had some very rough spots there, but it ended up not getting the best of the situation#. I have my baby! His name is what I consider extremely anti - #Christian . I don't even like to say or write it. I have been calling him "Baby" when I talk to or call for him. Still, I'm taking my time about giving him his permanent official name !!!