As this is my first post, I'd like to introduce myself (in the allotted number of characters). Perhaps you'll read something interesting or that we have in common & would like to discuss it--let's do that!
I am an RN (my 2nd bachelor's degree) & mostly work with a pediatric population in the home setting. My clients' special needs care varies widely--from generalized I/DD to complex disorders requiring ventilators, trachs, feeding tubes, ventricular shunts, seizure management, etc.
I've been diagnosed with major depressive disorder & anxiety, with symptoms starting around the age of 18. I've had regular migraines & tension headaches since I was about 9 & have tried almost every med that numerous doctors/neuros have tried, retried, combined, & recombined, & have suffered through almost every adverse effect. I still have about 20 migraines a month & a regular headache almost daily. I just started a new biological injection med for the migraines that induced one lasting 8 days. Current meds include Effexor, Lamictal, Topamax, & an anxiolytic BID.
I am prone to psychosomatic pain* under extreme mental & emotional stress. I experienced idiopathic chronic pelvic pain on my left side that left me debilitated for a large portion of my junior & senior years of college (getting my BA in biology/cognitive psych). About 2 months after I graduated, it went away. I've had episodes of compulsive self-harm (hitting) in the past.
*Please ask me about psychosomatic pain if you are unfamiliar with it--it is NOT the same as factitious disorder or malingering.
I am excellent at what I do & expect the same of others; I'm easily frustrated by other people's lack of effort or keeping with organizational tools that I create to improve communication & continuity of care. I tend to take care of others even at the expense of my own mental/physical health, & can go on doing that for quite a long time. My life is nothing like I thought it would be. I'm now almost 40 & single with no spousal prospects, & no kids. I have no property, no savings, no retirement fund... I want very much to change but am often paralyzed by fear of failure when it comes to the point of action. I didn't used to be like this. A series of setbacks has steadily chipped away at my self-confidence. I used to think I would conquer the world. Now I just aim to get through the day.
I love gardening & generally playing in the dirt. I love my nephew (now 2 years old, born at the end of 2016) more than anything in the world. I'm an atheist but have studied energy healing & am a Reiki Master Teacher. I strongly believe in the healing power of human touch & connection. I like to get lost in the woods. I love thunderstorms. I like weird people. I appreciate wit, sarcasm, & a desire to learn & to teach. I'll talk to anyone about anything as long as there is mutual respect. I'm passionate about what I do & what I believe in. I am intrigued by darker topics, but probably because my heart exists in the light.