Hypochondria

I had my first major panic attack related to health anxiety for the first time in months. After I finally managed to calm down, I wrote this out to basically jot down what is going through my brain when I have a panic attack, and a back to back one none the less.

I am still learning how to cope,
I am still learning to just be,
I am still learning how to take care of myself,
And I am still learning that it is okay to still be learning.

Every time that I manage to say “I am so happy where I am right now,” my anxiety has to run in to tear it down. It clings to something and makes it so real in my brain that I begin to believe it. I begin to believe I’m really sick. I begin to believe I should have gotten that blood work done because maybe something is wrong with me that I don’t know about yet. Any small change in my normal routine sends me into a full blown panic. I begin to get OCD about it. How many times did I use the restroom? What did I eat today? Have I lost weight? Have I gained weight?

My heart is racing. My mind can only focus on, “Are you sick? Are you going to throw up? You’re scared to do that. Don’t let that happen!” I panic when one little thing hurts or if I have a change in bathroom habits. Then, because I am so good at being anxious and latching onto a thought that I logically know does not exist, I spiral. And then I become anxious that I’m anxious. It seems like a never ending cycle sometimes.

Is something physically going on with my brain?

No, but something chemically is.

But, that isn’t an excuse. I should suck it up and do what I need to do.

No, sweetie. Just because this illness does not manifest itself as other illnesses do, it doesn’t make it any less real.

And as I go through this, and I go in circles, suddenly I start my period. I kid you not. I spend a whole week an anxious mess. I can’t sleep, I’m either pissed off or upset. The thought of going out in public is even more anxiety inducing. And most of the time, once my period starts, everything is fine. I settle down, I feel better except for some cramps and being completely exhausted physically, emotionally, and mentally. I feel like I sleep the first three days of my period.

It is a rollercoaster of emotion sometimes, and I’m finding ways to cope. Finding ways to just be, and remind myself this happens. And when it happens, I can find ways to cope, breathe, and reassure myself that I am safe and I am healthy.
#PMDD #Anxiety #AnxietyAttack #Hypochondria

MS: like Lindsay, it took 32 years to finally get diagnosed with MS. That was 32 years of emergency room visits and dr. Appts where I was convinced and absolutely terrified that I was dying. I had days where I couldn’t walk, I couldn’t’t talk, I couldn’t read (or reason)and I could’n’t swallow. Try going 3or4 days without being able to swallow! Anything! I was married to a dear man who put up with me and tried to help me but also had to go to work, leaving me with our originally 3 year old and newborn twins. The medical community mostly thought hypochondria or depression. It was hell on earth. I am proud to say that all 3 children lived to adulthood (although I’m not totally sure how) and I have a good, loving relationship with all. Sadly my husband died about a year before I was diagnosed so he never knew that there was actually a real disease that had caused his not-actually-crazy wife’s agony. One of the saddest things in my life is that he never knew.
MS cheated me out of most of my life, although I have to be grateful because it could have been so much worse. When I was 60, I bumped into a MS activist friend who sent me to Dr. Ann Cabot in Concord, NH, who diagnosed me. I cried in relief and things began improving from there with treatment. Yes, I agree Lindsay. Those saints who can diagnose (and who actually LISTEN to us) should be mentioned as the hero’s they are. Dr. Cabot is one.
I’m sorry this is so long. I’m new to the mighty. I’ve never written my story out before. I’m hoping this will help. The good news I have for others is that my current doctor (I live in VA now) says some people almost “age out” of MS. That is happening to me. I’m not on Copaxone anymore (which is handy since I’d developed an allergy to it anyway), I’m much more comfortable with much less drugs. I’m now 71. I hope the same for all of you.

Does anyone else have pains that seem to be tied to anxiety/panic attacks? For example I had a panic attack that was triggered by stress and resulted in chest and upper back pain like 3 days ago. And since then it’s been like a revolving door of panic and pain - maybe each causing the other? I can’t seem to shake it. And the pain isn’t so bad, just there enough that it’s hard to ignore. The worst part is that - even though I have had tests and been told by a cardiologist that my pains are not cardiac related- I spend a LOT of time thinking that THIS time might be different and it is cardiac after all. Does anyone else have this problem? Any advice on how to deal?
#PanicDisorder #ChestPain #Hypochondria #Anxiety

I developed an inguinal hernia right as i entered puberty. I thought it was a tumor and didn't want to "inconvenience" my family with my death....I taught myself to die.

Fast forward a few decades, and the delusions continue. Every ache and pain evolves mentally into a terminal condition. I watched my wife die 5 years ago from cancer (I was 27) and have fought bladder cancer in myself in the mean-time.

If it wasn't for my hypochondria/somatization disorder, it would've been too late when they would have found mine. leaving my child an orphan. listen to your body, even if its making mountains out of mole-hills.

TL;DR: People with OCD, have you ever developed obsessive thoughts about being neurodivergent (like autistic or sensory problems)? How did you figure out whether you were actually ND or if the obsession was totally made up? Please read my whole post before responding if possible, thanks

For the past couple of days I’ve had a weird feeling in my chest. Not really pain or tightness, just an odd sensation that’s hard to put my finger on and sometimes sort of feels like it’s in my throat. I get lots of physical anxiety symptoms but this one is new and random, and it’s leaving me feeling very worried because I am a total hypochondriac and now it’s all I can focus on. I’ve been taking deep breaths and I can breathe fine, but it’s lingering and I just want it to go away!! Please give me reassurances, I know worrying about it is making it worse 🥺 #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #AnxietySymptoms #symptoms

Does anyone have helpful tools for psychosomatic symptoms? I’ve been getting these stress rashes since high school and they are so distracting. I use hydrocortisone both to calm the skin and to try to use the placebo effect to my advantage and trick my brain

#Anxiety #Depression #PsychosomaticSymptoms #Psychosomatic #BodyDysmorphicDisorder #Hypochondria

*I’m positive these are psychosomatic so please no advice saying that I may have *insert cause here * please. My doctor and I over the course of a few years in high school ruled out sun/ sun allergy, body wash, lotion, detergent, food allergies, seasonal/environment allergies and probably some I’m forgetting probably forgetting