Returntowork

I was really looking forward to getting back to my 50 hour weeks after 12 weeks off for LOCKDOWN
A little unsure what to expect on the first few days but ready I thought!
Really struggling this week
Everything seems to irritate me
I get home shattered because Iv tired myself out stressing and trying not to blow my top at the many people who try my patience
I feel like nobody respects me
Either it’s customers coming into my personal space, touching everything when they know they shouldn’t. Tutting at me because I have the cheek to ask for smaller payment or card because we’re short on change. Complaining because I don’t have the item they want because stock is coming in slowly at the minute
Or
It’s colleagues
Whatever I do seems to be wrong
They wouldn’t have done it that way etc etc
I’m really feeling bad today
I feel like I don’t want to go back in
I don’t want to speak to or see anyone
I just want to get in my bed and stay there
I’m now 4 weeks back in and other than signs asking for social distancing everyone’s acting like nothing ever happened and that frightens me
Physically I’m well, but mentally I feel like I’m a long way off
#mentalhealth

I am returning to work after a 3 month leave that I had to take after being hospitalized. At the hospital I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and complex PTSD, plus major depression. The last few months at work I was in an escalating rampage of self-destruction and had a nasty confrontation with my new manager that got me reported to HR. I had a previous problem that also involved HR that left me deeply traumatized. The second episode ended with a warning email with a very explicit lie that made me go into suicidal ideation. To make matters worse, I was taking Chantix and hormonal meds that severely altered my mood in both occasions, throwing my coping mechanisms through the window. The diagnosis made me understand why, although I have been a quiet bpd for years and got diagnosed at 45, I felt that I was unraveling and not really myself. I truly believe the meds ruined my career. Now I have to return and face the music. I truly believe disclosing would be a good option but HR is strongly advising against it. My new manager also is absolutely clueless about my role and she already told me she plans to put me to work in projects I already expressed disinterest on and are way below my level plus pushing me to work on something I actually finalized before I left. I plan to set accommodations in place before my return but I am terrified to assert myself when it comes to the work my boss wants to assign me because I fear she might take it as personal offense and report me again, which will get me fired. I want to go back to work, I love my job. But this manager and her possible reactions are scaring me beyond words. I am also getting into a DBT program but I still have to wait a couple of weeks to start and I am sure it will take a while for me to harness the skills necessary to deal with this. What can I do? #bordeline #BPD #CPTSD #Returntowork #medicaleave

Hi
I have a management job with a lot of responsibilities

I am off with anxiety and maybe depression
( doc says both)

I am thinking although I am still suffering badly I should just go back and see how it goes

Work aren’t pressuring. But I’m struggling to get enthusiastic to do anything so mope around a lot and hang on this site!!

So any wisdom on

A). Stay home recover longer with psychologist and tablets

B). Just work through it

I know many don’t have the choice so I know I am lucky in that

#Anxiety

#Returntowork #Advice #CheckInWithMe