Serotoninsyndrome

#Serotoninsyndrome

I've been dealing with serotonin syndrome for a week now and honestly don't know what to do anymore. I want to climb out of my skin, I want to cry and scream at the same time, and I want it to be over. This is my 4th time having it so I know exactly what to expect, the agitation, the restlessness, muscle rigidity, dilated pupils all that. I also know the anger, the suicidal thoughts, the feeling of wanting to crawl out of my own skin and the worst snapping at everyone around me over something I can't control. I'm talking to my doctor today about serotonin blockers but I still don't know what's causing it. I'm pretty sure its my morphine I'm on due to severe endometriosis but even cutting down on that hasn't helped. I honestly don't know what to do anymore, the last time this happened I was in the psych ward for two weeks but at least then they knew it was my antidepressant. I'm not on any right now which doesn't help. I'm just done, my whole body hurts so much from shaking, I'm scared to say something I'm going to regret to my family and I'm scared I'm going to do something I regret. I just want it to be over with and I hope my doctor can get me serotonin blockers to help, and I also hope my therapist can help to figure out whats causing all this because at this point I just want to punch a wall ( which is such a bad idea) and I just want to sleep more than 4 hours just once.

I don’t relish the holidays, and unfortunately I seem to be getting more isolated as I get older, but I’m glad I can enjoy my solitude! This post is meant to be a note of encouragement to others who are hurting. I’m 63. In 2019 I celebrated 30 years of sobriety from alcohol. I exercise daily and I’m in the best shape of my life. I even have a small group of friends I go hiking with once a week!
Severe depression and #suicidal thoughts started when I was 17. When I was in my 50s, I was diagnosed with #BipolarDisorder. At 56, I was in a coma for 8 days and almost died from #Serotoninsyndrome after taking to much escitalopram several days in a row. I was on Lithium for nearly 30 years and have been on all the well known mood stabilizers and antidepressants. Now I need far fewer meds than before.
Honestly, I never thought I’d want to live this long, but I’m doing it. My mood and my life are good, even though there’s rarely a moment when I’m not anxious or annoyed about one thing or another.
Please know it’s possible to enjoy life, even after you think your life has been crushed beyond repair, MULTIPLE times. I hope you have a good year end and a better 2020! ❤️ Your fellow sufferer, Dave.

It's been a while since I posted anything, I couldn't get help to log in. What was supposed to be a straight forward hospital stay with neurosurgery to my back, led to a 3 week hospital stay with my system shutting down.
I had gone into #Serotoninsyndrome and knew it before getting to my surgeon. Having had this once before over 10 years ago, I recognized it and had been waiting for it as my medication for pain relief crept up. I had mood swings, fever, cramps and muscle rigidity.
I stopped all medications as my body was rejecting them. This left me in awful #ChronicPain and in the care of a perioperative specialist as my neurosurgeon deemed me too risky for surgery. I was so desperate for relief. What followed was arduous, so many tests and procedures, a 10 kg weight loss in 2 weeks because my gut was attacking itself.
After a week in confusion and pain, a pain specialist was brought in but couldn't do anything until I was stable which was the end of my second week. I remember some of my stay and had journalled while in hospital, I haven't read them back yet as my psychologist has been over the entries and asked me to focus forward. I do remember the looks on my few visitors faces, they were frightened for me but I so appreciated anyone coming in to distract me from my pain. #PTSD #Anxiety
After 2 procedures by a caring pain specialist, my 2 years unable to walk and in a wheelchair were released. The pain relief was so instant and incredible that my brain had difficulty registering plus my feeling and reflexes which were non-existent in my right leg, started to return. It was overwhelming and I'm now a couple of months down the track with slow but sure progress with walking.
I am left with residual symptoms from serotonin syndrome, which my specialist and a drug specialist/psychiatrist warned me I will have for life.
I'm seeing a neurologist next week about ongoing #Migraine relief and expect botox therapy will be brought up as I'm not able to go onto the new CGRP meds.
Intensive physio and pain management have become my life, with each day I see improvements and am horrified my original neurosurgeon left me in this state. "Go home and take your medications, there's nothing anyone can do for you." was his response to my second visit. I asked for any other options and was flipped off as he opened the door and said "You can try finding someone else". My medical team at hospital were also horrified at his lack of duty of care and I had to find a new neurosurgeon interstate. Thank god she was careful with me.
I leave any anger behind, for me it's a useless emotion, I've reported the neurosurgeon in question and leave it to karma if he is stood down, I doubt any action will take place but my report is on his history.
For now, I'm grateful, focusing hard on my physio and getting through each day of migraines.
Life begins here, released from my years of pain. What I'm left with, hopefully I manage with meditation and love. #Migraines #Hope

if anything is going to happen, it’s going to happen to me. Ask for help with my depression? Get prescribed medication and of course my body hates me and I get #Serotoninsyndrome
Then go for a routine surgery that I’ve had done multiple times and it causes a #Brainhemorrhage
Still having #Seizures and can never work again. Learning to accept it.
#RareAndMighty