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Learning and growing even when I am sick with #COVID19 for the third time. #ChronicEpsteinBarrVirus #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #Anxiety

When you have worked at a company before and considered one location your "work home" and you leave a high mental stress job for that, that was my life. But then the company that I came back to work for set up a new payscale that is impossible to achieve if you are working full-time hours. Then, you have to remember that this is a type of hair salon. My personal paychecks have been dwindling and my husband has had to pick up the pieces with his paycheck which he makes less per hour than me and he is bringing home the majority of the money. That was and is a red flag. Now, on the cusp of the Christmas holiday, I have officially been diagnosed and tested positive for Covid-19 for a third time in two years. And I did in fact get the Pfizer shots. I know who gave it to me, both personally and professionally. And if my company has a problem with it I will stand up for myself and if need be take thus other person down. My pcp wants me out for either 5 days for the fever, but if that doesn't calm down for 10. I unfortunately was too late to take any of the proven meds that combat this. Because the old motto at my job of "if you have a fever don't come in, no matter what", no longer holds true. Now it is "work even if you are contagious unless it bad enough someone sends you home". And then they require that you spend money you don't have, even if you don't have insurance like myself (it's too expensive atm and be able to pay rent), on both doctors and covid testing. I have received permission from my husband and others to when opportunity knocks jump. And it most certainly has. Simply waiting on the last interview but have already received an informal offer that pays several more dollars per hour. Is it at a burger place, yes, but I need security that I haven't had for a long time, and I would rather do that than be at a job that doesn't value me or any other employee. It's been a tough road especially battling Covid-19 with a completely compromised immune system. But I'm learning where I would rather be in life and where I want to go. Yes it's taken me 10 years of doing hair to come to this point but at least I made it here. Even battling the plague I still have hope. And my family has my back and wants me to get better, even though when I got the news all I wanted for Christmas was to be with my family. But my awesome mom, and grandfather made plans, and we'll see. Maybe we'll be able to do something virtual.

Moral of this story is even when the world, your job and especially your own body are against you, there is hope.

#SilverLinings #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #MentalHealth #Hope

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The night my mom passed away 22 years ago there was a terrible Thunderstorm. To this day my anxiety goes through the roof every time I hear thunder or see a weather alert about storms in our area. So strange how our bodies hold on to those things. At least the smoke here in the pnw is clearing and the rain is helping the fire fighters #SilverLinings

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See You Later, Monday.

Look how GLORIOUS this (unfilteted) Arizona sunset is!! The fact that this is what I get to see right when I open my front door, no complaints! Bob Ross did good yet again! 💛❤💙

#Anxiety #Depression #Migraines #CheckInWithMe #SilverLinings #Chatspace

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No filter neccessary..

Tonights Arizona (non-filtered) sunset proved that there ARE silverlinings to our day. 💛❤💜
#Anxiety #Depression #Migraines #SilverLinings #DistractMe

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Silverlinings will ALWAYS be there...

... at the end of your day! Promise!

This wk was brutal for my mind. Irritated most days. Patience was very thin. Overwhelming at the end of the night. Hardly slept. Nothing worked.

Made plans with a friend to FINALLY go out & enjoy a bunch of food trucks for the night, tonight. Eventhough it was 110° outside, we still managed. Glad we did cause that strawberry Lemonade slush was BOMB ASF!!!

THOSE are the moments that let's me know, I'm good. I just need to breathe, that's all. It's just bad moments, nothing is permanent. Silverlinings are going to ALWAYS be there, if you seek to believe. & I believe! Today was proof. ❤
#Anxiety #SilverLinings #MentalOverload