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Support in ways you need❤️

Today I got to be an advocate for my sister. I got to remind her that she is valid. I got to remind her that she has an ally in this world. Today, I was someone I wish I had.

You see, I have a 16yr old sister who is navigating this world with depression and a group of friends that need her more than she asks of them. Who never gets asked if she's okay. Who never gets asked if she's at her breaking point. I have a wonderful amazing sister who never asks of others, but feels the world to exponentially levels.

Today I asked her a hard question and watched her crack and break the way u used to. I watched the panic and the anxiety attack take over and then I got to help her find a healthy way to handle it. I helped her focus and breathe. I helped her understand I'm not being everyone else and just asking is she's okay. I got to be the person to tell her her feelings are valid and see her hear finally for the first time. I got to have the hard moment to tell her that the reason she reacted that way was because she knew in her soul that something was wrong and she didn't want to face it yet and that's okay.

Today, I got to see myself give my sister the advice I wish u had st her age with the understanding and acceptance that she may or may not listen and it's okay either way. I got to tell my younger self that I'm okay and we will heal. I got to see adult self show off my growth and my strength in understanding and guiding her through her pain. I thought I had understanding years ago, but nothing like what I have today.

Today, I remind my sister that she not only has a support system, but an ally in me. To fight and advocate for her, but also to help her navigate mental health. I got to see her find relief of someone asking if she's okay and realizing HER FEELINGS ARE VALID. Today I got to be her and my best friend. Growth is hard at any age, but omg! If I'm not only breathless at mine, but hers as well!

Never stop fighting to grow! You are valid!


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Why is my mental health a joke?

Saw this in one of my groups today and it really resonated with how I've been feeling lately.

I'm so tired of my mental illness being a scape goat for people who are just having a bad day. It's the reason we still aren't taking it seriously in any field of profession. It's the reason it's still okay to say that a self check machine is "bipolar" or to settle down because you are acting "schizophrenic" in public and no one bats an eye. No one is filming and calling these people out. No one is trying to fix this. We all just accept it.

If we are going to change the narrative behind mental health and how serious it is, it has to start with us. It has to start with what we allow others to say about illness and to educate others on why those phrases or words can be detrimental to growth and our health. How they make us feel less seen and more like a joke.

Please use the correct terminology as it's important. I don't use words like depression or manic unless I actually am. I do have bad days, but I always categorized it as such. It starts with us. We have to be the change.


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Everyday #Mania

Yesterday, I decided to rearrange my room after a #DepressiveEpisode of about a week. Yesterday, when I woke up, I had energy, motivation, determination. This scared me. Still is because I did the same thing today. Woke up, put up laundry, made coffee, and the days just begun.

Why am I scared of productivity?
Perhaps it's because I'm only used to being productive when I'm #Manic . That worries me because I know i need to keep up the pace or at least keep taking one step forward in spite of my #Depression .

However, i have to remember that thats not always the case. Sometimes sure, but sometimes it's just because I've been taking better care of myself. It may be because of the little steps I've taken that has helped me get to this point. Perhaps it's simply because I haven't forgotten my meds in a while. Regardless of the why, I have to remind myself that I have the gas in the tank to go at least a mile today. That the energy I have won't be wasted on facebook or the like. That mentally, I'm #Stronger than I've ever been.

So, for #today , I will be kind to myself. I will alow myself to work AND rest as I can. I will be strong. #strongerthandepression and #StrongerThanBipolar . I will remember just who I am and fall in love with myself over and over again until it becomes habitual. I will remember that I am #morethandepression and #morethanbipolar . I am worthy of a tidy space to live. I am worthy of the love I give. #iamworthy


Growth. I talk about it all the time. I see my friends growing and doing better. I know what I'm doing to be better. I'm watching everyone put in work and SLAY! However, one thing that isn't talked about often and should be IS if someone, anyone, is working on themselves and working to be better then your opinion of them must also grow. I am not who I was 1, 2, 3, 5 years ago, BUT if that's the image you still hold of me....I will not let you have hold over my life or an opinion on my decisions. Your assumptions or opinions of me may have been correct then, but if they did not grow with me, you do not get an opinion. I have and will continue to be better. Do better. In that, I will not let you hold me to the faults of someone I no longer recognize. I know these words are blunt, but no one talks about it because there is no finesse in this statement. I've tried. It's pure honesty and if we are being honest: if this post makes you uncomfortable, please look around. Some of us are already uncomfortable having to fight our daily demons not to mention the demon that you still associate us with. Grow your opinion of a person with them or please don't have one at all.


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I haven't spoke out about this. However, this is actually something I recent talked about with my mom. It was 3 years ago when I got diagnosed. It was 3 years ago when certain things throughout my life made sense. Everyone around started acting differently like I was broken. Like I was fragile. I wasn't. It just all made sense. Now I spend my days learning my mind and body and learning to react accordingly. Yes, some days are worse than others. Yes, some days I KNOW I'm just in a gray area, but I refuse to use that as my excuse to act a certain way. I refuse to let someone say "well shes just having a bad mental health day" No. I am human. I have human reactions, but I own each and every one of them without blaming any of my diagnoses. I don't talk about it because I don't want people to immediately blame my behavior on my mind. I am who I am. I react. I make choices. I own consequences. I am still me. I just know how to handle myself better.


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