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Support in ways you need❤️

Today I got to be an advocate for my sister. I got to remind her that she is valid. I got to remind her that she has an ally in this world. Today, I was someone I wish I had.

You see, I have a 16yr old sister who is navigating this world with depression and a group of friends that need her more than she asks of them. Who never gets asked if she's okay. Who never gets asked if she's at her breaking point. I have a wonderful amazing sister who never asks of others, but feels the world to exponentially levels.

Today I asked her a hard question and watched her crack and break the way u used to. I watched the panic and the anxiety attack take over and then I got to help her find a healthy way to handle it. I helped her focus and breathe. I helped her understand I'm not being everyone else and just asking is she's okay. I got to be the person to tell her her feelings are valid and see her hear finally for the first time. I got to have the hard moment to tell her that the reason she reacted that way was because she knew in her soul that something was wrong and she didn't want to face it yet and that's okay.

Today, I got to see myself give my sister the advice I wish u had st her age with the understanding and acceptance that she may or may not listen and it's okay either way. I got to tell my younger self that I'm okay and we will heal. I got to see adult self show off my growth and my strength in understanding and guiding her through her pain. I thought I had understanding years ago, but nothing like what I have today.

Today, I remind my sister that she not only has a support system, but an ally in me. To fight and advocate for her, but also to help her navigate mental health. I got to see her find relief of someone asking if she's okay and realizing HER FEELINGS ARE VALID. Today I got to be her and my best friend. Growth is hard at any age, but omg! If I'm not only breathless at mine, but hers as well!

Never stop fighting to grow! You are valid!


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Check out my Twin Sister's post here on The Mighty!

As a twin sister, I'm always going to cheer my best friend in this world on, but even more so when they utilize their courage to share about something that is so hard for them in a way to spread awareness.

Please READ Laura's post, SHARE it with others and EDUCATE the public about this rare disease.

To my TN Warrior and all others, gentle hugs! " originalText=" "> #twins #sisters #facialpain

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There is probably only 1 person in the world that can almost understand me that's me sister, we grew up in the same home but our mom and step dad were great at creating it into 2 different homes, we both suffered in different ways, the strange thing is that we don't recall seeing those things happen, like my sister doesn't recall all the horrible things or step dad did to me and that it mother just sat there, never said a thing. And it's the same with her. But now that we are adults we are able to talk to each other about what went on in our worlds so to speak. She is my best friend and the one who I'm most able to relate to on some kind of level.


Blood is definitely not thicker than water

Does anyone feel like no matter what you do or how much effort you’ve made, trying to keep a relationship with your sibling is absolutely draining? Rewind a little bit, at the age of 17(three weeks before my 18th birthday) i lost my father to cancer. My sister at the time was 13 years old. I know as i got older i focused on my own things, i moved out at 18 and figured life out on my own. As I’m 26 now and my sister is 22 i feel like anything or everything i do to either help her or be involved in her life is like pulling teeth. The way she talks to me is very dismissive and disrespectful and she’s just extremely self centered. I’ve had the conversation with my mom about her attitude and how she treats both of us and we’ve both just come to the conclusion that we just can’t have any type of conversation with her about it becuase it’ll be like world war 3. She’s someone that will literally hold a grudge over something you did 15 years ago but will never own up to any of her wrongdoings. I’ve struggled a lot of my adult life trying to come to terms that’s my relationship with my sister will never be like the one I’ve imagined. So i guess at what point do i just stop caring? Or stop letting it affect me? #sisters #Family


Our Twins Have Cancer. Here's Why We Wear A Mask #Cancer

I have a moment to myself. That's it, a moment.  And I am ok and happy with that.

Our two year old twin girls, Ella and Eve both have a rare aggressive #Cancer .  They not only share the same DNA, but the same Cancer.   Everyday is an uphill battle. But, they are my heroes. #heroes

They were both diagnosed with cancer at 1 month old.  They've probably spent more time in the hospital than at home.   They've endured chemotherapy, ostomy bags, seizures, feeding tubes, deadly infections, uncontrollable blood pressures, septic shock, life support, countless examines under anesthesia, and their fight is ongoing.  

I get it. People think it's a violation of their rights to wear a mask. However, I feel that if I don't wear a mask, its violating the rights of my twins to LIVE. It's violating the rights of others who also wear a mask and want to LIVE.  #live

See, whenever our twins are at the hospital (even before Pandemic),#dcotors  always gowned up. ALWAYS Head to toe. And, it kept our twins safe. Safe from those tiny microorganisms that could kill them. I know that, because I witnessed it first hand. So if my precious twins' lives were saved by a #mask , then I will proudly wear a mask, for them and everyone else.

We have been under #quarantine for months. It's nothing new to us. Its familiar ground. They gone through grueling #Chemotherapy , and their blood counts would sit at zero for weeks.  So, we would stay at home.  Now, we keep them at home to protect them from the Corona Virus.  They've been through so much already, I cannot imagine them suffering in a hospital again.  

Now, the virus has caused their treatments and appointments to be delayed or canceled.  My husband's employment has gone from 7 days a week, to virtually zero.  We are scared to bring them into a community setting.  

They are strong and they are brave.  I am proud that they are mine. @OakleyTwinsJourney
#Retinoblastoma #ChildhoodCancers #twins #Anxiety #Depression  #wearamask #RareDisease #sisters #Health #MedicallyFragile #Toddlermom #Deafness #cancerresearch #Awareness  #Safety

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Scared of my sis #sisters #sisterwars

We are having a huge fight over nothing really. We recovered from a family-breaking fight, but now there’s another fight going on. What happens when your best friend becomes the person you’re hiding from the most? #


Due to COVID-19 kids bullied my ten year old sister.

You wouldn't know from looking at my sister and I, but we are of Japanese and Korean decent. It's a part of our heritage we wear proudly, due to this many people in my sister's grade knows of our ancestry. However, we live in a small town with little diversity...

Once COVID-19 started to be more wide spread and worked it's way into the United States, the bullying started for my sister. My brave little sister was hurt, and angry! She straight up told these kids the facts, but she knew something had to be done.

After telling my parents and I what had happened at school, she notified her wonderful teacher. This led to all of the fifth grade teachers having a serious talk with their students. They said there was an individual that was of Japanese and Korean heritage that was being bullied. They strictly said if this was to go on, there would be serious consequences.

I am amazed by my baby sister everyday. It makes my heart break that she went through bullying like I had as a child (also due to the fact of what my heritage was). This has to stop, bullying is never right. I'm sure she wasnt the only Asian American bullied during this stressful time.

Also as moms/dads/sisters/brothers/etc. we need to make sure we're setting the right examples. ALWAYS. Bullying is NEVER right, no matter what. Teach your kids to be the good example, not the bully.

#COVID19 #COVID -19 #Bullying #Antibullying #Brave #sisters #babysister #proud #proudsister

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Depression and Melancholy

I drew this the other day when a weird combination of depression, nostalgia and melancholy hit me. I’m one of four girls, and as you can see from the painting, we lost my identical twin sister in 2006. Losing someone you love bites deep down where scars are permanent, and the feeling never goes away; it just becomes your new normal. Part of my PTSD comes from finding my twin after she’d passed; I was the last one to talk to her, and I was the first one to find her. Although she’s not physically here with us anymore, she’s still very much a part of our family. Our two other sisters have been my anchors - they’re my best friends. And I will always be a twin, a sister, and a friend. Loss doesn’t take that away; you just learn to live a bit differently. #Loss #Depression #Family #twins #sisters #Hope #anewnormal #Sadness #Grief #Life #PTSD


I Don’t Know Her and She Doesn’t Know Me. #Discord #sisters

I just can’t today. I don’t understand my sister or the dynamics between us. She’s condescending and cruel. All I want is for time to stop so that I don’t have to talk to her. #SocialAnxiety #Depression #hurtfulwordspeoplesay


My Sister #Childhood #Abuse #change #sisters #mylife

My sister was like for many others their best friend and their worst enemy. When I was little my sister mostly hated me. My mother who had always been silent, standoffish and distant and was very mentally ill suffered bad post natal depression with my sister which I guess led to her disliking me so much, because I was a silent easy going child and I guess I connected more with my mother and her with me and my sister was naturally jealous. She used to do anything she could to hurt me so I was told and do remember her locking me in cupboards, hurting me, calling me names, anything she could. But occasionally she liked me, I still admired her, she was always praised for being a highly intelligent child. No one ever even saw me. I was nothing. Ugly, fat, dumb and weak.
But my admiration sometimes broke her and occasionally she liked a side kick, so sometimes we felt like best friends and I made her laugh.
But when my mother and father divorced my mother made it clear she was happy to split us up as siblings and I would be with her and my das would have my sister. My father didn't want this though so we stayed together and ny mum had custody, despite her severe mental illness.
So my sister resented me and my mother as we had taken her away from my Dad who actually doted and idolised my older sister, her beautiful thin and intelligent and keen to pursue the same interests as my father; except religion as it turned out.
Then when my mum continued to try and take her own life we jumped between care from her boyfriends but then eventually went to live with my dad and grandparents. I was very sad not being with my mum but also sad being with her. It was strange at that point I'd been taught about God and Christianity and I tried clinging to that. I enjoyed the next few short years with my grandparents, even my sister and her bullying seemed less intense. She was with Dad now.
However upon the death of my grandparents it changed for me and for them I think. My sister became angry, violent and unpredictable and my Father strict, a disciplinarian and his behaviour varied greatly. But they both took to hurting me and they also grew apart from one another.
It seemed my sister was gay and struggling with it and struggling with a potential faith in God and with her Dad. I think this was why she was always so angry, that and the lack of relationship with my mother. I was an easy skape goat.
I often felt my life was at risk throughout my childhood but especially in my teenage years. She would punch me, choke me, pull my hair, lock me in places and use my Dad as a threat against me even knowing she might get punished she relished the thought of me in pain and enjoyed watching my terror.
I used to plan escape routes, could only breathe freely in the locked bathroom and was always on high alert, listening for every creek on the stair and judging who was safer to be around at different times.
My sister changed though thankfully when she went away to uni.