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BPD Check-in

It has been a month since I joined The Mighty and nearly a week since I wrote my first post: Fragments of Me: A Personal Story About My Life with Borderline Personality Disorder.

Today I feel the sudden need to check-in. I plan to do this more often so I can mark my progress and record my thoughts. All of this is to ease my mind and to lessen the burden on the people around me. I've been told that I can be overwhelming because of my constant need to overshare and my inability to let things go. It hurts to hear that, but to be fair, I'd rather people be honest than to lie to me, so I'll take it in with a grain of salt.

I'm relieved to have found a community with individuals that are going through something similar or who are willing to learn more about their loved ones suffering with mental health disorders such as mine. However, I'm still struggling to find balance in my everyday life & I've been finding myself extremely insecure and anxious as of lately.

Alot of it has to do with the fact that next week my boyfriend and I are reaching our one year. We have been fighting intensely for the last few months due to my insecurities and distrust for things that happened early on in our relationship. It reached a point where we started questioning if we should continue on because we were making each other miserable. Definitely not an ideal start to our one year especially when we have a trip planned solely dedicated to celebrating that milestone in our relationship.

The question I have is: As a borderline, how do I forgive and let the past be the past?

#TheMighty #CheckInWithMe #Forgiveness #BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Relationships #Healing #Anxiety #Bpdrecovery #MentalHealth

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Connecting Through My Struggles

I'm looking to connect with anyone willing to share their experiences with depression or difficult times. I haven't found any connections, and I know people don’t always open up on support sites. I want to keep this a safe space for everyone while still staying within the safety of The Mighty site, so anonymity and no judgment are assured. If you'd like to chat, feel free to message me.

#Depression #Anxiety #SocialAnxiety #Loneliness #MightyTogether #TheMighty

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Invisible Reflections

I think of you often, lost in thoughts about who you are and what makes you tick. I read about you repeatedly, hoping to understand you better, but then reality sets in—I’m just a nobody in this vast world. At this point in my life, I know I can’t change how I see things; it’s just the way it is. I often feel like I don’t have anything to offer anyone, and so solitude has become my best friend. There’s a certain comfort in being alone, yet I can’t help but wonder what it would be like to share my thoughts and experiences with someone who truly understands. It’s a bittersweet longing, wanting connection while feeling stuck in my own perspective.

#Depression #Anxiety #Loneliness #SocialAnxiety #TheMighty

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My “Daily Bread” Has No Denomination #ADHD #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Fear #Jesus

Yesterday was Sunday in my part of the world. I had to run two important errands and the trip took longer than expected. Therefore, I missed attending my typical church service. I asked the Lord if there was another church service I should attend. To my surprise, I realized that I could attend a Catholic Mass at a local parish. But I am a so-called Protestant. Thankfully, I was never raised in a church—as a child—where I had to learn all of the proper religious practices. So, to Mass I went!😁

The Catholic service was great! But the homily, or “sermon” according to us non-Catholics, was the very message I had to hear. The young priest shared how the New Testament story about the “Rich Young Ruler” shows us how that young religious law abiding man missed out on all the things the Lord could have done with his life because he simply did NOT want to give up, or sell, his possessions (Matthew 19:16-22). And the Lord could have used him to touch many lives…if he only surrendered his possessions. Sad.

The priest then encouraged his flock by telling us how obedience to God and Christ might require us to loose EVERYTHING. However, when we do surrender all, the Lord can work through us to fulfill his purposes in our lives. And being used by the Lord surpasses the value associated with the items/possessions we might lose or “sell.” His words addressed an ongoing challenge I have encountered after a 2017 move involved losing my home and pets, to my shock and surprise. I often still ask the Lord, “Why did that happened?”

After the service, the Lord allowed the priest and I to converse. That was so cool! I shared how the Lord used his message to help me understand an experience I had to face. Also, the priest allowed me to share my story of how the Lord “saved” me, which is a word Catholics typically do not use because salvation is ongoing rather than a one time event: i.e., I ‘was’ saved. However, the priest was greatly impacted by this testimony of the Lord’s redemption, especially since this emotionally troubled teen had one goal in life: suicide!

As our conversation came to an end, the priest gingerly asked if he could pray for me when he learned that I have two physical health issues, and one will require an upcoming major surgery. I was pleased he asked to pray for me, and gladly accepted his offer. So he prayed.

When I drove home I said, “Lord, I think you designed this entire morning.” My extended trip allowed me to converse with the priest, tell him how the Lord used his message in my life, and receive his prayer. Thank you LORD!

I am therefore SO GLAD the Lord breaks the traditional politics associated with attending church. He is more interested in showing his ability and desire to relate with us rather than making sure we subject ourselves to denominational differences.

May you have a wonderful week of obedience to Christ! His directions will bless you above and beyond your imagination! #TheMighty #Christian

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Day Off: why #Anxiety ?

Today my schedule is open, like, this is NOT the norm. However, I woke with a drive to GET GOING! So, whilst half asleep, I started the chore of making myself ready to make something happen! But as I briefly sat to fashion myself, I had a thought telling me to take seven deep breaths.

Upon the completion of this slowing down instruction, I returned to my room, sat still, and told the Lord, “I am actually tired, really tired.” #honesty to God and self can move mountains. I therefore returned to bed and started reading and studying a wonderful Bible verse. Once that was complete, I viewed my weather app: 90 degrees heat wave. Mind you, I was heading outdoors to work in an open field.

Did the Lord part a sea for me, this morning? Did the Lord protect his child from the heat today? Did the Lord intervene by stopping me from making myself habitually busy? Did the Lord let me know that this day is reserved for me to enjoy his divinely gifted day off? So I say, #Depression #Anxiety and #Guilt , you can leave, for #busyness can take a backseat—until tomorrow—because this day is reserved for stillness by my Heavenly Father!

Yes, to you, #TheMighty #Christian , we can be #christ like and sleep on a wind-blown and tossed about boat, especially in the midst of the storm(s) called #Life . How? Well, we can take heed to obey Jesus’s words inviting us to “abide in Him” and “follow Me.” And that I will do!

Today’s Agenda:
I am heading to the back of the boat because it is time for me to take a nap!

#rest IS #stregnth !😁
#peace not #PTSD !

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#TheMighty #Christians : #My #Birthday #Agenda :

#party ….nope
#guest….nope
#dressup….nope
#orders….nope
#drive….nope
#directions….nope
#late #home….nope
—————————-
#rest….YUP
#relax….YUP
#fun at #home…YUP
#stayed inside….YUP
#Loved the day…YUP
——————————
#reality….Fabulous #mentally #healthy #Birthday without any
#Anxiety #PTSD #cptsd #Depression #financialpain #worries #guilt #stress

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#mighty Pets

I’ve been so blessed to have had so many Pets of All Kinds in my lifetime! I briefly tried, but couldn’t live without one!

My Recent Love♥️

This is “Salsa”. She was initially named ‘Samba’, but by the end of the first day together I said “You are no laid-back cool island 🏝️girl! You are one spicy little Salsa 💃!” And at about 1 1/2 years, she fully lives up to her name! Cabinets have locks. Not a lap cat, but glued to me like a barnacle, doesn’t meow-only chirps & trills, thinks she’s a dog & plays like one, loves to drink running water from the faucet, and waits at the door for me when I need to run out! Yes, when it’s time for bed we have our snuggle routine, she becomes my “baby” again, I 🎶 sing to her, then she goes to her bed near me. Guard Cat. I love her to bits!🥰

#Depression #Anxiety #Migraine #graves Disease #Diabetes #heart Attack #HypothyroidismUnderactiveThyroidDisease #SpinalStenosis #Osteoarthritis #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder

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