transgender

Guess what. I know this will be shocking but...

I'm a trans boy. *Gasp*

Anywho. One thing I do to maintain my identity is an injection of testosterone. Once per week I jab myself with a needle and hope for progress.

What progress, you ask?

Well, facial hair for starters. My face is so fuzzy! I've only shaved my face once since starting testosterone 7 years ago.

Then there's my voice. It's gotten much deeper but right now it's cracking again. It's the same as a cisgender boy going through puberty. But it's kinda cool cuz now I can sing super deep.

There's other less desirable things that I have, like horrible back hair and gaining weight.

But the one thing I hate the most is the acne. I don't have a lot but the few I do get turn into abscesses. I've got one on the side of my chin the size of a dime. It's still under the skin. Hurts like hell. A few weeks ago I had one on my right boob that still hasn't healed completely. It was awful. I had to get medicated powder.

So when people say I chose this, I can't help but laugh. No I assure you I didn't choose to be transgender. I realized I was supposed to be a boy when I was 5. I read about transgender people when I was 16 and for the first time I didn't feel alone in the world. I chose to live openly as a trans guy. I chose to accept the good and bad. I accepted the risk and consequences. But it was my authentic truth.

And I recently learned something. Freedom of agency no matter what religion you believe in means you get to decide what you think about people who differ from you. Just because we're different doesn't mean either of us is bad or wrong if we keep an open mind. Religion's teaching of hatred of people like me is how people miss out on some wonderful nuance. We stand to learn much when we stop hating people for being themselves.

#Transgender #LGBT #3rdpuberty

When I went through puberty as a young girl, I felt trapped in the wrong body. I didn't think I'd ever be free from the nightmare. But then I started testosterone 8 years ago. And my period stopped. And my voice cracked and then deepened. And I became a hairy man beast. And I got pimples.

But 3 years ago I stopped taking testosterone. I started taking norethindrone to stop my period. That's the most important thing to me.

4ish months ago I started taking it again but this time it's a higher dose. My voice is cracking, my facial hair is thicc like pudding, and my poor face and chest are full of pimples. I'm also gaining weight like crazy.

I didn't have much of a choice about restarting testosterone. My hormones bottomed out. It was either testosterone or estrogen. I'm not a girl. So yeah.

#Transgender #Dysphoria

Pauley helps me with my testosterone injections every week. I'm used to the super thin tiny pen needles for my insulin pens. I use sub Q needles for injection of the testosterone in my tummy but they're bigger gauge. She fills the syringe for me.

She always says just shove it in like a dart but I'm like *wiggles needle around and chickens out*

Today was T day. When she told me to shove it in she asked if I wanted help and I said yes. So she took the needle and BAM right in. I didn't feel a thing. Until I started pushing the plunger and OMG owie. But it got done.

Years ago she used to do my injections in my butt with regular needles. It's kinda hard to believe I'm doing my own injection. I'm not scared of the needle, I'm scared of making myself bleed.

#HRT #Transgender #LGBT #HormoneReplacementTherapy

It might be because I drank a bottle of IQ Joe with my dinner lol.

Now Pauley and I are eating chocolate chips. She's going down obscure rabbit holes on Wikipedia while I'm just listening to music and researching medical stuff.

Today was testosterone Tuesday. I have been back on T for about 3 months. My facial hair is coming in thick and my voice is cracking again. But I'm also breaking out in lots of acne. Boy puberty sucks but it's a jillion times better than girl puberty.

My right foot is 2x it's normal size. Tomorrow the first call I'm gonna make is to the Endo. I'm concerned about how lymphedema and diabetes interact.

I'm feeling very invisible. If you see this post, what's your favorite poem? Or if you're feeling spry, write me a haiku about spring.#HRT #HormoneReplacementTherapy #Transgender #LGBT #Transman #testosterone #Lymphedema #Diabetes

Welcome to Monday! I've notticed people have been replying less to the daily questions, if you have any suggestions on how to improve, comment, but until then I will change to every other day.

Whats one thing you want to get done this week?

I'll start. I want to work on my stories

#MightyTogether #LGBTQ #Transgender #nonbinary