triggerwarningsuicidal

Hi all,

Have you ever made a big mistake in the past? I have. And I can’t seem to get fully over it. It seems to just keep coming back, and often at really inconvenient times, like when I’m actually having a good run of mental health. It’s like whenever I’m feeling happy or close to it, I’m self-sabotaging out of guilt and feel like I don’t deserve whatever is making me happy or indeed to feel that at all.

I need to get over it because it’s really killing me inside and I don’t want to do this forever. I don’t want it to always be there and ruining anything good and at times making me feel suicidal. I’m so sick of it and I want it to stop. Does anyone know ways of moving forward?

#SuicidalThoughts #Suicide #triggerwarningsuicide #twsuicide #triggerwarningsuicidal #twsuicidal #TriggerWarnings #IntrusiveThoughts #selfsabotage #Guilt

I’m an essential retail worker and have been continuing with work without interruption throughout everything that has been happening. Now that things have improved a lot where I am, there is really no restrictions in place and so the Christmas rush is on.

I have been getting a lot more hours than I ever have and I am really getting stressed out by it. I just want a break, I’m so tired, but the only thing I can do really is call in sick now and then because I really don’t want to disclose my illness - I have had that cause issue in the past.

It’s not just the stressful Christmas period that anyone who works or worked in retail would know all about. It’s also that I’m very, very unhappy in my current workplace. I feel unappreciated and surreptitiously (sometimes overtly) bullied, even though I do the best I can. Sometimes I want to shout at them that I’m mentally ill and I’m doing everything I can, and their attitude isn’t helping anything. But I can’t, of course. Maybe it would be okay if I could work in a section that would require less interaction, but I think the Christmas period is not the time to ask for a shift that would require a bit of training to be done.

I’ve been dealing with suicidal ideation, disordered thinking, and a mixed symptoms (bipolar II) on a more frequent basis than ever. I have things keeping me alive and I hope that when those things are through with, I will be in a better place mentally. I’m just so tired.

#BipolarDisorder #Bipolar2Disorder #Workstress #TriggerWarnings #SuicidalThoughts #TW #triggerwarningsuicide #triggerwarningsuicidal