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#triggerwarningsuicide #lossofapet

I have had my dog since he was born. He turned 12 this past January. He was diagnosed with Cushing Syndrome/disease Nov 2019. To continue a healthy comfortable remaining life, I have to make $900+CAD. I can't do that. He is my everything, my world. He's chronicly dehydrated, his kidneys are starting to fail, he sleeps 23.5 hours. He doesn't eat. His hind legs are starting to fade. So I have to put him down. This is the hardest thing and rekting havoc on my mental health. I just feel so helpless and like a bad dog owner. Once he's taken care of, ( #triggerwarningsuicide ) I'm thinking about meeting him at the rainbow bridge.
Has anyone had to deal with grief alone? No friends, family, support system?


Recent berevement struggles #triggerwarningsuicide

Hi i recently lost my older brother. He sadly took his own life i wont say how as dont want to to cause any undue stress to anyone
I happened to find him and attempted CPR and got ambulance. Once ambulance arrived I acted as a go between for the emergency services and my mum who was with me when we found him.
Unfortunately we couldn't bring him back and its been a struggle to accept what's happened.
I get Flash backs.mixed with panic/anxiety attacks and struggle to deal with certain things like flashing lights at nighttime from a emergency vehicle or other little things. I'm trying to find ways to cope and deal with this any suggestions would be most grateful as I struggle with my own mental health (I have bipolar) and I'd like to ensure I don't do anything stupid x


Finally finding relief #CPTSD #Depression #Anxiety #triggerwarningsuicide

I was discharged yesterday from a ten day inpatient stay at a psychiatric hospital. On Friday the 12th I was at the end of my rope, as my fourteen year old said I was just tired. I overdosed on two of my medications, not enough to kill myself but it definitely could have made me much sicker than it did. It wasn’t a suicide attempt I just wanted relief, NEEDED relief. I’m thankful to say I’m doing MUCH better than I have been in such a long time. I have to complete a partial hospitalization program, then start a DBT program along with a DBT therapist then possibly start back with my on my regular therapist. I still have a road ahead but I’m getting there. Thank you all for being here for me when things got dark! If you’re reading this and you’re in a dark place now, there IS hope! Keep fighting and tell someone if you need help before you get to the point I did!


How to stop feeling so bad about past mistakes?

Hi all,

Have you ever made a big mistake in the past? I have. And I can’t seem to get fully over it. It seems to just keep coming back, and often at really inconvenient times, like when I’m actually having a good run of mental health. It’s like whenever I’m feeling happy or close to it, I’m self-sabotaging out of guilt and feel like I don’t deserve whatever is making me happy or indeed to feel that at all.

I need to get over it because it’s really killing me inside and I don’t want to do this forever. I don’t want it to always be there and ruining anything good and at times making me feel suicidal. I’m so sick of it and I want it to stop. Does anyone know ways of moving forward?

#SuicidalThoughts #Suicide #triggerwarningsuicide #twsuicide #triggerwarningsuicidal #twsuicidal #TriggerWarnings #IntrusiveThoughts #selfsabotage #Guilt


Having a hard time at work

I’m an essential retail worker and have been continuing with work without interruption throughout everything that has been happening. Now that things have improved a lot where I am, there is really no restrictions in place and so the Christmas rush is on.

I have been getting a lot more hours than I ever have and I am really getting stressed out by it. I just want a break, I’m so tired, but the only thing I can do really is call in sick now and then because I really don’t want to disclose my illness - I have had that cause issue in the past.

It’s not just the stressful Christmas period that anyone who works or worked in retail would know all about. It’s also that I’m very, very unhappy in my current workplace. I feel unappreciated and surreptitiously (sometimes overtly) bullied, even though I do the best I can. Sometimes I want to shout at them that I’m mentally ill and I’m doing everything I can, and their attitude isn’t helping anything. But I can’t, of course. Maybe it would be okay if I could work in a section that would require less interaction, but I think the Christmas period is not the time to ask for a shift that would require a bit of training to be done.

I’ve been dealing with suicidal ideation, disordered thinking, and a mixed symptoms (bipolar II) on a more frequent basis than ever. I have things keeping me alive and I hope that when those things are through with, I will be in a better place mentally. I’m just so tired.

#BipolarDisorder #Bipolar2Disorder #Workstress #TriggerWarnings #SuicidalThoughts #TW #triggerwarningsuicide #triggerwarningsuicidal


Triggered by a movie #triggered #trigger #triggerwarning

#triggerwarningsuicide I just recently watched a movie with my family, it was mostly comedy and a few sad parts. The movie was about a girl who tried to kill herself and how it affects her life and the lifes of her family, friends etc. afterwards. I already watched the trailer before and didn't think of anything bad happening. But there where so many scenes which really triggered my suicide thoughts. I don't really have a problem with triggers, so it suprised me. What is your advice for triggers and how to cope with them? #depressiontrigger #Depression #Suicide #Suicidethoughts #triggerwarningsuicide


Did you know?

Did you know everyone has patterns in their life. Certain days will trigger certain emotions. Until you recognize these days and emotions, the pattern will remain. Once you recognize the date and the emotion, you can begin to change the pattern and give a new emotion for that date. Also, keeping a mood chart can help pinpoint the triggers of mood swings and also help you know when it is time to seek help. It will track when your energy is high on a day that you are agitated the most. This is when someone should seek help right away. If you would like to know how to start a mood journal, post it in the comments and I will gladly help. #Moodjournal #BipolarDisorder #Anxiety #MoodDisorders #triggerwarningsuicide #gethelp


Birthday mayhem #CheckInWithMe #Suicide #triggerwarningsuicide #DissociativeIdentityDisorder

Today is my birthday... and my birthday happens to be an “anniversary” date of one of my more disturbing traumas. This particular one resulted in one of my younger-aged parts splitting off. I’ve been struggling to remember that I’m safe now, it’s not happening, they cannot get to me now, I’m an adult rather than a child. I’ve been safety contracted for two weeks or so and I’m so tired of fighting to keep my head above water. And when I reached out for help with my 16 month old dog so that I could go and get the help I desperately needed/need, I was shot down repeatedly. That has left me wedged between what feels like a concrete wall and a wall of fire- either way I go guarantees a bad outcome...


Hard to keep breathing #triggerwarningsuicide #LongRead

A couple of weeks ago it all got too much. It had been building, simmering just under the surface, barely contained by a fake smile and a foolish belief that if I asked help I would get it. All I had to do was be brave enough to ask, right?


I reached out, told my fiancé that I’m depressed. I was in tears, vulnerable and being honest with him instead of putting on a happy face for the first time in a long time.
He hugged me, let me sob and lean on him. I couldn’t even speak but I felt myself relax, I felt safe in a way I hadn’t in so long I can’t even remember. I felt such relief that finally, this was it, he would support me and look after me and hear me.
Then, somehow, that moment was gone. I felt my muscles tense again, the tears stopped and I waited ...
His tone was calm, softly spoken words that broke my heart and stopped my breath
“Baby, you know you let yourself feel like this, you need a more positive outlook. Just let go of things, get over it and stop ruining our evenings with your crap. “

I was broken. He’s right. Why am I dragging him down with me? He really would be better off if I wasn’t here, and who else would miss me?

I can’t shake this thought, that I could disappear and not be missed. Now it’s reinforced by the knowledge that I can reach out and not be heard. By the one person I could trust above anyone else, the one person I believed when he said he loved me and would always look out for me.

I’m fighting every day just to stay alive.
My fiancé is now less of a reason to fight than my cats.
I just need him to understand how hard it is to keep breathing when I feel like I’m drowning.


I feel alone in the world?

#MentalHealth #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Depression #DependentPersonalityDisorder #triggerwarningsuicide #Suicide
 I went to several doctors and therapists. My last doctor was abusive at me, refused to change my meds even though they're not working and didn't really feel like he cares about me much.
 I've been diagnosed with  Depression, BPD, DPD and GAD. I've seen a lot of support groups online for all of these disorders, but I feel like not even the people there understand me to the fullest.
 Sometimes I feel like I have a disconection from the world, like I can't express fully how I feel or what message I want to give to the people. I believe not even my therapists and doctors know how much I struggle fully because I don't seem able to reach out 100% of how I feel.
 It's killing me because I try over and over to express myself sometimes through writing, sometimes through speech, but nothing seems right.
 I feel so alone, like I'm living inside my own head sometimes and can't contact the world outside.
 I feel actively suicidal because of this, since I can't find my place even among neurodivergent people.
 Does anyone else feel/felt like this and know how to get through?