Bipolar 2 Disorder

I made a timeline of my family history of mental health. My grandma had depression undiagnosed. Mom has depression and anxiety disorder. This shocked me with my dad. According to my mom he had psychosis at 60 until he died around 80s. He was in a hospital for something and he would be hearing people talking and he was seeing things no one saw. Thats not the only time either. So I’m wondering was he liked this when I was growing up and kept quiet about it 🤔. My brother was depressed and did drugs

I made a timeline of my family history of mental health. My grandma had depression undiagnosed. Mom has depression and anxiety disorder. This shocked me with my dad. According to my mom he had psychosis at 60 until he died around 80s. He was in a hospital for something and he would be hearing people talking and he was seeing things no one saw. Thats not the only time either. So I’m wondering was he liked this when I was growing up and kept quiet about it 🤔. My brother was depressed and did drugs

So, at Starbucks I was journaling on my iPhone and I remembered a conversation with my parents. Once that cat was out of the bag I remember asking my parents why didn’t they call the police on my brother and they said we were be the ones going to jail. I remember asking them why didn’t you kick him out of the house they said where would he go. Years later I asked how can you let him stay in the house. She said it didn’t look like it bothered you. I was very upset and I texted my therapist. I had so much rage at the mall but I had to keep it in check. I went shopping to ease my anger. I bought a Spider-Man shirt and sweatshirt

So, at Starbucks I was journaling on my iPhone and I remembered a conversation with my parents. Once that cat was out of the bag I remember asking my parents why didn’t they call the police on my brother and they said we were be the ones going to jail. I remember asking them why didn’t you kick him out of the house they said where would he go. Years later I asked how can you let him stay in the house. She said it didn’t look like it bothered you. I was very upset and I texted my therapist. I had so much rage at the mall but I had to keep it in check. I went shopping to ease my anger. I bought a Spider-Man shirt and sweatshirt

Hey, all! I’m new here. I’m 49 yo with a load of issues! I have bipolar 2, lupus, fibromyalgia, small fiber neuropathy, and scoliosis. I manage the bipolar 2 with meds, and I manage the autoimmune stuff with diet and yin yoga. Everything has flared up and worsened over the past two years. I’m not currently working and haven’t been able to consider even a part time job. Relatively speaking, my symptoms are mild and SLOWLY improving. I’m functional, meaning I can now do two (maybe three on a good day) hours of light activity or running errands each day. I’m thankful things are improving, but I’m also struggling, wondering/acceptong if this is my new “normal” for my life.

On Tuesday it dawned on me that I didn’t remember the ages 9-11 years old. I know I was abused by my brother at 8. A huge gap is blocked. My therapist said I dissociated during that time. I don’t even remember fall or winter. I know the abuse started at 8 and it was in spring and summer. The rest I can’t remember. Trauma therapy and exposure therapy can open your eyes to make you think. I started to cry a little bit then stop. My therapist said its ok to cry. I said crying isn’t safe (trauma response). I know it needs to come out but its gonna take time. He wants our therapy to be in person which is fine with me there is a Starbucks across the street. He said we do it either way