.... to get the thoughts out of head & I'm not a fan of "notes" on the phone.
Here I sit in my car, church parking lot, due to work & the thoughts of anxiety are consuming so much space.
I've noticed the emotions since yesterday & allowed myself to just sit & recognize what my mind & body was trying to tell me.
Last Sunday I returned home from my very first out of state solo trip. Drove 13 hrs from AZ to CO & that was beyond needed. Idk why I allowed self-sabotage to control me for so long. Once I got back, I felt my depression creep in for a day or two. Got that under controlled.
This past Friday I felt my anxiety try to come & play during work. I fought it off due to being at work & not wanting to cause a scene. That night it was good. Went out & saw The Lion King Musical for the first time. Loved it. That calmed the nerves.
Today, I can feel every emotion trying to creep its way back in. I'm trying to remember techniques I've been shared yet some are not quite what is needed.
Tuesday is my session after having a week off. I can not wait for it. Much needed. This therapist has been such a blessing in disguise. Opened so many doors, good & bad, yet the bad has put a lot into perspective. Always looking for the positive in a negative situation. Always reasoning behind actions... I believe.
My mind & body is just full of so much right now. Trying to sit with everything yet trying to push some emotions to the side is exhausting. Remembering I'm at work is what's keeping me from crashing to my knees.
Ya'll, mental illness is not for the weak. This ish is hard.... & I will not be giving up nor giving in. I will come thru on top. I will define my life. This constant "battle" will not.
If you've made it thus far, you're the real mvp. I was just trying to calm thy thoughts the way I know how. Thank you. 🖤
#Anxiety #Depression #PTSD #Trauma #selfsabotage #Migraines #Healing #Therapy #Insomnia #Chatspace #CheckInWithMe #GAD