Going through a psych med change *again* and it’s been rough. (Bipolar 1)
Anyway that’s not the point that’s just the set up.
Tonight it is nearly 3am where I am and I am not asleep nor am I tired.
This is different from past insomnia because I am not:
Sleepy but can’t sleep
Obsessive thinking
Having anxiety
Having a mixed state
Having a manic state
Having med withdrawals
In pain
Having terrible headaches
Aching for sleep
Worried or having any anxieties at all
Ever since this med change really got going I have not been able to stop thinking. Not worrying ...
I wonder. I wonder all the time. What did I dream about last night and why? What did Ancient Rome look like when it wasn’t ancient. How many facets are on a diamond? How did poor people travel in the desert before cars without getting heat stroke? What kind of tree is that? Do I have the right kind of soap to shower later. I want tea... nah.... no actually I want tea. What is my sister up to? What is my other sister up to? What is my other sister up to? How do they do surgery on eyes? What year was candy crush made? Do I have any long lost notes on my kindle? When was my kindle made?
AND on AND on
This has been happening for a few days but tonight it is making me not sleep. I jump from thought to thought.
and I’m worried that if I just lay here and do nothing I will stop wondering and start worrying.
How to quiet a loud and wandering mind...

#BipolarDisorder #Anxiety #Insomina #medchange #Medicationwithdrawal ##wanderingmind #ADD #Cantfocus #Insomniac #Bipolar1 #Thinking #overthinking #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #Noworries #Notmanic #MedicatedAndMighty