Insomniac

° " Sooo Idk Why People Alway's Assume That I'm Going To Alway's Come In On My Very Few Day's Off ??? UM NO!! They Keep Getting Mad At Me For Keeping My Phone Off Or Not Answering Text's... Well Hello It's My Day Off.. I Don't Understand The Mentality Of These People Like I'm Just Supposed To Just Drop Everything For Them... Just Because They Can't Handle Customer's At All... Or Bother To Keep Thing's Clean And In Order... I'm Trying To Have A Life Outside Of My Job.. And Working On My ♿.. But These People Don't Want To Understand And Just Assume That I Don't Want To Help... I Do Help All The Time... And I Don't Get Anything For It. Not Even A Thank You! But Want To Abuse My Kindness And Not See That I'm Disabled At All... This Job Is Depressing And Draining..." ° Sincerely, •●○ Skaoi Kvitravn ○●• #Thought 's

Short run down. Chronic strep throat as child. Tonsils removed. Allergic to strain of strep in 6th grade...almost killed me. Never regained "normal" health. On and off horrid joint pain, pain in eyes, multiple Derm diagnoses, chronic inflammation, chronic insomnia, asthma, then Arthritis, Bursitis, Depression, Anxiety, lost weight then gained over & over, pregnancy very painful and high risk. Spinal Stenosis, Sciatica, Anemia. Got pregnant again & was even worse. Thankful for 2 healthy kids, but Momma is not healthy. I'm 47 now. Labeled with Fibromyalgia but no treatment. Need to be back on pain meds but bc I stopped (MY choice), years ago Drs don't want me back on them. I have done so much research and I KNOW I have Behçet's Disease. Looking for somewhere to go in the US for the validation & proper treatment. 20+ years of struggling invisibly (until huge sores all over neck & head in May 2022). Currently on evil Prednisone, Colchicine, Mobic. Rheumatologist taking too long to have me jump through all of her hoops. Any advice appreciated 💜
#BehcetsDisease #MomGuilt #ChronicDepression #chronicinflammation #Insomniac #Anxiety #Arthritis #Divorce #PTSD

I have been trying to fall asleep since 1am. It is now 2:15am. My brain just won’t shut up tonight. And I have to get up for work in a few hours. So annoying. Make it stop.

I've been with my boyfriend for almost 6 months (I'm also bipolar), ever since we we've been together I've been on this manic high. Well, like every high episode comes the low episode which is harder than anything to function with. Unfortunately, it was his birthday this weekend & I wanted to do what girlfriends do & be with him. Inorder for me to stop having panic attacks I drank a lil to much & I didn't make it look good on him because I disappeared to go throw up & never came back out, I passed out. I've told him how sorry I am & yeah, I did fuck up. I now know that he will never understand what this disease does to you because he kept on with the same thing over & over again. I don't think we are or will be together anymore. This really fucked with my psyche. I guess I'm meant to be by myself. He was the 1st man I had been with since my ex husband in 2016. Am I not worthy to have someone love me & understand that this disease is not easy on anybody especially the person that has to deals & tries to conquer every demon everyday??

I'm so heartbroken....

#MentalIllness #Bipolar #BipolarDisoder #Manic #depressive #PTSD #SocialAnxiety #Insomnia #Insomniac #highs #Lows #Disease #chronicmentalillness

Why am I the narrator of my dreams ? I talk and move and kick and yell .... my dreams and I’m exhausted when I wake . I wake myself up
#Insomniac