wannagiveup

Finding naked photos on my husbands harddrive is like a slap in the face. I just wanted to look at old photos of family on there and I find those. I knew he’s had photos sent to him because I caught him already and I knew he wrote other girls and that they were just “friends” and we constantly have this conversation about him writing girls to much but I thought he stopped and deleted them. He’s just a friendly, social guy but now I just feel so in adequate and self conscious. Even more so because there is a collection of these photos of old friends or women.. like what am I suppose to do..? I sat down and had a conversation with him about this all and he said it means nothing and he doesn’t know why he saved them and that he wants help but he keeps writing them back and allowing them to send photos. I don’t know how to help him and it breaks my heart that I’ve had this conversation more than once with him. I feel so pathetic like he doesn’t need or want me anymore since he could have apparently others. I don’t know if he does it for the attention of getting photos or if something else is going on but what hurts the most are the lies. The times I’ve confronted him and he lies or tries to down play it…. I seriously only have my husband. I don’t have friends and my world revolves around him so when my relationship with him is lacking or feels broken I feel like the only way to move forward is by giving up. Life is a chore anyways and if I don’t have my husband by me then what’s the point.
#Depression #SuicidalThoughts #trustissues #wannagiveup