community

I wish I felt better. I wish I was in a better mood. It’s just so hard when you hurt everyday. It use to be that I had several days off a month of no pain. Now it’s constant and I’m getting worn out. I know I’ve been doing too much, I work full-time, I go to school full-time, and I’ve been trying to finalize my parents estate because they recently passed away.
My go to self help were my guitars, but I’m finding it more and more difficult to play. My mental state sucks, bad. I just made an appointment with a mental health clinic through my insurance. I feel like the coping mechanisms I had don’t work.
I hate going to work because one of the best things that make me feel good is my dog and I can’t take him in.
I’m tired……. Anyone else? #tired #hurt #wannagiveup #RheumatoidArthritis #depressed #Needabreak #lookingforhelp #Community #ChronicPain #Anxiety #ChronicFatigue

We believe in Santa Paws! Russell (right) is loved by Sashahans and Cujo(left) by her partner Guy and Sashahans too!🐾🐕🎄🦴

I am making some resin pendants for a friend's church. They are doing a date to raise funds for the craft group and bills (heating etc)

A lot of us there have physical or mental health struggles and tbh it is nice to have somewhere to be honest and moan about life. #Fibromyalgia #Crafting #Community #MentalHealth

FYI: it IS a bad thing to be stressed because of EVERY aspect of living: old car with major mechanical issues; homework: math - need I say more; family issues; work tension: trying to ‘work’ with a ministry leader who has absolutely no concept of boundaries. All of the above are ever present situations I have been dealing with during the past few months, and I am OVER IT despite seeing a counselor twice a month. 😵‍💫!

Prayers appreciated. Thank you.

Yesterday, I shared how my mornings go. Today I will elaborate on why "Every Morning" is so very exhausting.

I've been in the mental hospital more times than I would like to admit. However before that, I went to college majoring in biology and neuroscience. I wanted to understand my chronic issues and "fix me".

Unfortunately, I did not find for what I was looking. Going through several different specialists, I found some diagnosis (treatment resistant depression, generalized anxiety disorder, a circadian rhythm disorder, sleep apnea mixed in with a bit of obsessive compulsive disorder and perfectionism).

I never found a medication or medication combination that revolutionized my life. I found many coping mechanisms that helped like medication, a proper diet, journaling, blue light therapy, talk therapy, yoga, dance, deep breathing techniques, transcranial magnetic stimulation therapy (TMS), acupuncture, Chinese herbs, teas and lately, homeopathy.

However, as I alluded to earlier life happens and you are left flat broke (literally), unable to pay for most of these services. For example, due to my mental health, I had to leave graduate school and move in with my parents. My business failed, and at this point no one will hire me. My ex-husband left because he couldn't support us (along with a mental breakdown of his own). So, I am left alone, depressed, anxious, unemployed, living with my parents, picking up the pieces fighting the strong urge to just give up. Did I mention I my mornings are actually afternoons? (More on that later.)

Yes, this is officially a "Cry Me a River" post. However, that's why I joined this platform. I officially have no one to really talk to or in my case 'vent'. However, I think that is why we are all here. Am I right? Let's get all of our problems out in the open and support each other?

Well, I definitely hope that is the case because most 'normal people' look at me, when they hear my story and say, "I am praying for you". They also say, "I am sending you good vibes".

That's all very nice and appreciated but I am sincerely looking for the support and strength to keep going. I want to keep finding the good things in life, the joy, the wonder, the excitement, anything that makes my life worth living. I don't want to give into the perpetual desire to clock out of the human race. (Not that there is any guarantee things will be better on the other side, just saying.)

As Angelica Hudson says to Drew Barrymore in "Ever After" (It's a really sweet movie by the way.) "No matter how bad things may get, they can always get worse."

It's up to me to make it better and that's a hard concept to swallow. It's just me against this crazy spinning rock. :/

#Support #Depression #Anxiety #ChronicIllness #Community #Support #venting #circadianrhythmdisorder #Journaling #TMS #Acupuncture #chineseherbs #homeopathy #financiallystruggling #unemployed #Divorce #Burnout #Loneliness #Hope #strength #NeverGiveUp #onwardandupward #togetherwecan