WhatYouDontSee

I got an email for a job i contacted them they called and we had an interview i met the owner and his head of HR and we all did the interview i felt like i aced it and i asked almost every question and i answered all of theres. Honestly i feel like i got the job it went so well ill know by wensday, but i didnt tell them i couldnt drive, it didnt sound like i need to because they have a work van that has to bring their equitment to the worksites so i could ride along.

The rest of the day i was riding high thinking next week im gunna have a job i have nothing to worry about but today it suddenly hit me what do i do if i get the job and show up the first day getting a ride from my mom or dad or sisters. I feel like im going to lose the job on the spot or atleast the end of the day. Im feeling like garbage right now like what am i going to do. I feel like i lied to this guy whos only trying to grow his small business and ive already damaged the relationship. A lie of omission the hr woman called and even asked me if i had my own vehicle before the interview and i said i have transportation where ever i need to go which isnt a lie but i know what i did. honestly im hoping they dont call me to give me the job .

#TheDisabledLife #VisuallyImpaired #LegallyBlind #Anxiety #Firstjob #LIESANXIETYTELLSYOU #WhatYouDontSee #Anxiety #lie #failure #FailureToThrive

-When feeling strong emotions; give the emotion a shape, color, size, texture. Examine it from all sides, touch it, watch it grow smaller.
-Pause. Reframe the situation.
-It takes 90seconds for an emotion to pass through your brain, view it as floating glitter in the wind, or leaves, etc.
-Step away from a situation that is too difficult in the moment to collect yourself
-Mindfulness; what you are doing this EXACT moment is THE most important thing you can be doing
-Talk kindly with yourself you are human #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #toolsforwellness #WhatYouDontSee

What others see is a woman who is grossly overweight. They do not see the thin young woman I was, and how chronic pain, and chronic fatigue and the meds to fight this illness, "Fibromyalgia" came to cause the 100 pound weight gain.  
And now, trying to lose that weight, or even part of it, is another thing others don't see.

I wish other people were more understanding and empathetic about depression and anxiety. Someone said to me the other day, "I just don't see any motivation..." This person is supposed to be there to help me. She gets PAID to help but has no idea what the world is like outside of her own bubble. I've worked hard for years, without the benefit of medical care, counseling, or support because those things aren't available where I live. What is available is extremely limited and lacking. Even the counselors are insensitive and dismissive. I've managed to complete my college degree but I'm having difficulty finding stable employment for a few reasons. Not only are decent jobs becoming scarce but it seems like the workplace is full of bullies. I need to feel welcome and safe when I go to work. No one should feel threatened at their place of employment, nor should they be forced to work harder than anyone else because they're perceived as different. That shouldn't be too much to ask. I am preparing to move out of state just to get mental health and medical services. Of course to a state where workplace bullying and discrimination are not accepted as par for the course.

It’s hard to see through
The storm in the mirror.
She waits with lightning in 
Her eyes that flashes
Even when I look away. 
I know why she runs 
When the lightning thunders, 
But she flees into the gale
Rather than away to safety. 
Safety is a word that 
Plays on her lips, 
Like the sweetest raindrops
That she can never really taste. 
She licks away their beauty
But feels the weight of 
Danger dance upon her skin instead. 
She wants to jump in puddles
And stand on a roof in the wind. 
She climbs to the highest tree
And begs for electricity to light her on fire
So that she can stop burning 
Apart from the inside. 
Splashes of rain painting her baby blues
Are really the strains of bars
Caging her soul inside 
When it threatens to conquer
Her mind beyond salvation. 
When her insides are in shreds
And her brain disobeys
She spins around and around
And around and around
To stabilize a world
That has erupted with a fury
More energizing than the 
Most reactive atom bonds.
#BipolarDisorder #Anxiety #WhatYouDontSee #BeBrave

A quick question to the Mighty community: If all the humans in the world are so caught up in the give and take of life and the suffering it brings, then why do they find so much joy in the pain of others?
#Discrimination , #onlyhuman , #Disorder , #WhatYouDontSee