LIESANXIETYTELLSYOU

I got an email for a job i contacted them they called and we had an interview i met the owner and his head of HR and we all did the interview i felt like i aced it and i asked almost every question and i answered all of theres. Honestly i feel like i got the job it went so well ill know by wensday, but i didnt tell them i couldnt drive, it didnt sound like i need to because they have a work van that has to bring their equitment to the worksites so i could ride along.

The rest of the day i was riding high thinking next week im gunna have a job i have nothing to worry about but today it suddenly hit me what do i do if i get the job and show up the first day getting a ride from my mom or dad or sisters. I feel like im going to lose the job on the spot or atleast the end of the day. Im feeling like garbage right now like what am i going to do. I feel like i lied to this guy whos only trying to grow his small business and ive already damaged the relationship. A lie of omission the hr woman called and even asked me if i had my own vehicle before the interview and i said i have transportation where ever i need to go which isnt a lie but i know what i did. honestly im hoping they dont call me to give me the job .

#TheDisabledLife #VisuallyImpaired #LegallyBlind #Anxiety #Firstjob #LIESANXIETYTELLSYOU #WhatYouDontSee #Anxiety #lie #failure #FailureToThrive

F ucked up
I nsecure
N eurotic
E vasive #SuicideAttemptSurvivors #LIESANXIETYTELLSYOU #Hiding

Originally I was going to post each day, that was the plan. I was feeling pretty happy with it being my birthday and all. Helloo 22.! Today I’ve been flip flopping through emotions , blocking out that snake that tries to nest itself deep into my mind. Anxiety has had a lot to say in the past 9 hours of my shift.
I’ll make it simple and list them.
1. You’re stupid, keep your voice to yourself
2. Everyone thinks you’re a bitch
3. Yeah you may be an old dog , being an employee for almost 3 years here , but you don’t know anything
4. You’re ugly, I see the dark places in you where no one else does
5. How could anyone want to be your friend
6. You fuck up everything.
7. You’re nothing
I feel like buying a six pack and crying for an hour. That isn’t the right move to make though. I’ve got to sort this out , I just don’t know what to do anymore.
It’s the same stuff everyday. I’m fucking tired bro.

#LIESANXIETYTELLSYOU

"YOU ARE BROKEN BEYOND REPAIR."
"NOTHING WILL EVER GET BETTER."
"YOU CAN'T FIX ANYTHING--LOOK AT you.
you CAN'T EVEN FIX YOURSELF.
"NO ONE UNDERSTANDS.
"YOU'RE JUST CRAZY. EVERYONE KNOWS IT."
"NO ONE CARES."
"YOU MAY AS WELL GIVE UP AND END IT ALL.
IT ISN'T GOING TO EVER CHANGE."

PLEASE DON'T LISTEN.

You matter. Someone understands.
Someone cares. You are not broken,
and you don't need 'fixed."
You are not alone.