Disorder

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Disorder
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    I didn’t get lost this time🥲. #MentalHealth #Dyslexia #Disorder #Dyscalculia

    My experience with my Uber driver was the smoothest I’ve ever had. I don’t drive due to my dyscalculia and amaxophobia (car phobia).

    But, usually when I get an Uber I’m terribly nervous and afraid that the Uber driver may take the wrong turn and I’m embarrassingly confused. I always want to avoid getting an Uber.

    But, when my designated driver is unavailable. I have to take the transportation that is literally at my fingertips.

    So, today for the sake of my daughters needing to get to school since there’s a shortage of bus drivers I had to have them ubered to school. I’m already nervous about who will be driving us because the world can be a scary place.

    The Uber driver was a male who ubered us in his pickup truck. I was nervous automatically because I am uncomfortable around most men due to my unfortunate childhood trauma.

    But I read his reviews and he seemed to be an highly starred gentleman. Also on his profile bio he described himself as a “blessed parent” so that put me at ease a little.

    He also tried to make small talk I guess to help me get more comfortable. Maybe he felt my tension. But, again it wasn’t just my PTSD trying to flare up. But I just didn’t want him to make any wrong turns either.

    Thankfully he made it to my kids school so promptly without any confusions like some of the other Uber drivers I’ve had .

    And when he took me home he missed zero turns. I was getting nervous because I am terrible with directions. But he wowed me.

    This Uber driver is literally the first to get me to my destinations with any hiccups. It just made me feel so safe and happy.

    I felt that I needed to share this story. A moment in my life where I finally was free from the burden of feeling lost and confused.
    #PTSD #Anxiety #Amaxophobia #Disabled

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    Depressed & Negative Thoughts

    Depression can be dangerous and life-threatning. Try to keep yourself away from drowning in it.

    I thought I could over come the depression in my mind but it seems it never went away from me at all. I don't know how much more i can bear, how much I can live with it, but scares me a lot from inside. At times it starts to give a feeling that this is the end for you now. I am just 32, i don't know why I get these thoughts. I can't overcome the old mis-happenings from my mind. I'm unable to distract myself even if I don't it only happens for a few minutes and again starts to think of something or the other.

    A couple of years back my parents were influenced by my elder brother and they asked me to leave the house. Since, childhood I have been bullied, ignored by all my family and he used to get all the pamper and everything was given to him. Since then, I have been just living alone even staying with the parents. I married to my girlfriend in 2016, things were quite fine in the initial days/months i would say but I think we are complete stranges at times.

    I have fallen a lot but never stopped and tried to make me strong from outside because I don't want anyone to know how I feel from inside. Also, i have no one in my life who will understand my feelings. I have been like this negative since childhood. One day, my wife pointed fingure at me saying that I am the reason for her depression. This happened a couple of months ago but its still in my heart and doesn't go out. I mean I don't understand. When I am already pissed off from my life, now i made her life miserable.

    Sometimes, I feel like divorce and leaving everything and go away from here. Somewhere very far and unknown place and start a new life maybe but there's something inside which keeps stopping me to act.

    Things which I deserve, if I don't get them I get depressed. I am from India, I was given multiple opportunities to go to the UK, US, but I don't know if it's my bad luck or what. Something or the other happens or becomes big stone in my path which i couldn't control and I couldn't go. Now, I have plans to go to Singapore, but due to covid I am stuck from last almost 2 years now.

    I don't know how much or till when I'll be able to handle such pressure on me.

    #Depression #SuicidalThoughts #NegativeThoughts #Disorder #MentalHealth

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    Selfie Sunday

    My answers: Hot bath every evening, text my mom, there's a time for books and a time for movies, I believe in both, need to do both more but I do pray more than meditating.

    #Selfcare #Depression #EndTheStigma #thisorthat #Anxiety #Parenting #Disability #meditate #Pray #mom #selfiesunday #ReactiveAttachmentDisorder #ConductDisorder #Disorder

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    A little funny for you all.

    Thought you all might enjoy this bit if humor.

    #MentalHealth
    #Disorder
    #Anxiety

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    I'm conflicted, please #help me out with this? #personality #Disorder or #psychotic #illness

    So, recently I had an appointment with my new doctor who got rid of the potential diagnosis of #BPD on my file and said that it was more likely to be a #psychotic illness... BUT could he be wrong? My mum reckons that he's more experienced than the doctors I had before as he had to come out of retirement due to shortages and cuts. I would appreciate it if someone with with either of these diagnoses could message me x

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    What triggers an #episode of #Schizophrenia ?

    Can watching an actors portrayal trigger an #episode of #Psychosis in those with a #psychotic #Disorder ?

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    Do I have a #personality #Disorder ?

    #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #bpdawarenessmonth - Those diagnosed with BPD, message me please, I have some questions x ♥️

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    Just thoughts

    Do you ever think that state you r in now/disorder/feeling is not necessarily bc situations you survived, people that abuse you or traumas but like any other desease, like you catch a virus or got an infection?
    #Depression #Anxiety #PTSD #CPTSD #MentalHealth #Disorder #Trauma

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    Never come back home? #Depression #Disorder #MentalHealth

    Have you ever thought of not going back to your home when you leave your house for some reason be-it any work related or maybe buy grocery or went out on a walk etc. Anything at all.
    What's that feeling like. Because I have been getting this feeling from a few months now. It feels like I should never go back to my apartment but situation is like I have no other choice. I don't get some peaceful time alone anymore.

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    Just "Take it easy" they say.

    I really hope that someday I will be as insensitive as the people who wish me to "take it easy"!
    Like
    - Why are you sad?
    - I think I have anxiety disorder, and I keep on having dreams about recent war, I wake up every time with fear and hard anxiety.
    -Oh, Just take it easy!

               ***
    after 10 minutes
    - however, you seem to be sad, what has happened?

    And this is when I realized that people keep on asking "what has happened? why are you sad" just because they are getting bored in this situation. They ask you just to hint "please, smile, pretend you are ok, and don't break my mood".
    No one asks "why are you sad" because of empathy and willingness to help.
    So I wish that one day I can do the same to them, really, Instead of hearing and empathizeing I will just say "take it easy, man", that's all.
    Sorry for this kind of aggressive post, but I hate people with low emotional intelligence. #Anxiety #Fear #Emotions #dreams #takeiteasy #Disorder #Empathy #aggression