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What means to be a Blind-Autistic at a work place. #Blindness #LegallyBlind #Autism

Having impairities or disorders may put lots of barriers over our life line or even make ourselves and our self stem fall in a state of comfort zone. But it's not always bad nor it should be seem as something negative, in my experience I heard a lot of people criticizing me stating that "You talk like you praise being disabled."
No, first of all, I don't see myself as _disabled_, I'm very able of doing absolutely anything I aim for and work hard to gain even if I can't see more than some little colours and near movement with my best eye, and even if my social skills are compromised, or tolerance to some high stimulations like noise, touch (In Brazil we have a huge touching culture), smells and emotions. And yes, I aknowledge that I'm not able to see in a very seeing focused world.
Second, my blindness, autism and BPD are not bad nor good, they are characteristics just like any other, like my sense of humour, or my interest in cats, or being a person that doesn't laugh much, they all have up and down sides to them. And here I tell some that I experience in my workspace:

1. Not always I greet my co-workers if they don't greet me.

Of course it's not because I'm rude, when I'm entering my workspace I always greet everyone I can, but as soon as I do my routine of washing my hands, washing my water bottle, filling my water bottle, positioning my cane and bottle in the table, etc. I just focus on what I have to do, so those who enter the place after me I either don't see them or am too focused with my activities to hear their steps, voice or objects like keys, white canes, or smelling what kind of perfume they usually use. So unless they make their presence to me using my name while doing so, I don't say anything untill I myself stop what I'm doing and realize the person arrived so I go and greet them.

2. I'm too focused on timing.

That's good and bad, I make an effort on being efficient and want to make my co-workers proud, mainly cause I'm an intern, so I have to show them I can keep up the pace and learn to do things properly and not fall in the intern stereotypes.
So if someone give me an activity, I don't stop doing it untill I'm done, I analyse and find strategies to do it more efficiently without commiting mistakes and not getting dehydrated because I love water so my 1,1L water bottle is always by my side while I work.
Problem about it is that when I'm not able to keep up the same pace as normally because of something else, I feel like I'm tarding everyone and put too much responsibility on myself wanting to do my work faster to get in the pace again. But my co-workers keep telling me to chill out because nothing is tardy, the pace is fine, and everything is okay, and I'm not messing up anything. Note: they tell me it without I even mentioning that I feel like I'm messing so I guess they can sense my worries.

3. I'm a fast learner

That's certainly a good one. I learn fastly absolutely anything that strikes interest in me, because I always devour every bit of knowledge I find about the subject. Of course, I never stop trying to learn because it's foolishness instead of intelligence and wisdom. That means as someone who struggle with low self stem, everytime I do it unconsciously, I get compliments and it makes me feel so good. So I always aim for more, and what I am good that others are not because they didn't have the same contact as I did (like in my workspace I'm the youngest and also the one who most had contact with computers.) I always try passing what I know to them so they can also learn something.

It doesn't matter our age, we always can learn and teach.

4. I tend to be methodically organized.

That really is good for the kind of work I do. For context I work in a Braille Library, although I'm currently on Biomedicine School. But being organized about things help me a lot on understanding how to find and put away a book, how to organize the system, how to keep up with dates when we do certain events, how to organize what books do I scan what books do I review for producting, where to find informations I need, what to say on the phone when someone calls, everything gets easier because organization, and even if you know some autistic kids' rooms that are messy, believe me, we know where to find what we want in our messes and changing where we put our things may end up badly for us emotionally. Bonus about being in a place for blind people is that hardly will the sighted workers change anything to another place without previously informing, because we need to be able to find things there, and the users also need to be able to orient themselves inside there.

Well that's all for now, I don't remember anything more since it's late/early in dawn, so I should try sleeping. Hope this post was informative and can help people realize that their "disabilities" are never to be seen as disabilities, but indeed if seen from another point of view, they can be a huge help on living and great talents to be proud of.

Image Description: it's a rectangle with the borders black and filled by a pattern of a puzzle with the pieces coloured with the autism puzzle colours, with a highlighted blind person icon. (Those that has a man holding a white cane) The icon is completely black, taking the shape it stands for.

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What are some of your favorite #hobbies

I currently crochet and play the piano, but it’s getting harder to crochet due to my hands locking and lack of muscle coordination. I love anything creative that I can see, and need something to keep busy. Any ideas of new hobbies I should try?
#FunctionalNeurologicalDisorder #LegallyBlind #hobbies

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Oh… #Photophobia

This past month my #Photophobia has been horrendous. It’s been so bad that I can’t even go outside most days even if it is cloudy because it is too bright for my eyes to handle. This leads to #Migrane I’m already #LegallyBlind / #functionallyblind / #VisuallyImpaired so… now I have too keep my eyes completely shut which just makes things harder. Thankful for my #MobilityAids This has lead to a #Depression episode and of course my #Anxiety has been troubling a bit too. Mainly my #Trich has gotten out of hand because of the anxiety. But, good things are coming as I did have a tint evaluation for specialized glasses for the #Photophobia now we just play the waiting game and hope I can somehow obtain enough money for the second specialized pair that I can use for daily tasks once I find out the cost!


Trust your body

Listen to your body when you feel that something is off. Don’t ignore how you feel. Trust your gut.

For the past few weeks I’ve been experiencing flashing lights in my right eye. I got an emergency appointment with my retina specialist today and he found an Operculated Retinal Hole. He did a laser procedure on it, along with some of my abnormal vasculature of my retina. It was so painful and I’m struggling with a lot of pain in my eye and head all around the area. It will take a few weeks to heal and hopefully seal the hole. Hopefully after the hole is sealed the flashing lights should subside. I have an appointment in two weeks to get re-scanned. I have to rest and take it easy now.

I was going to wait it out and ignore my symptoms because if everything looked “okay” I didn’t want to waste my doctors time. Ultimately, after my mom and my neurologist persuading me to go, I made an appointment and I’m so glad I did. It’s better to be safe than sorry, and in this case, I was experiencing vision symptoms of an emergency that could and probably would’ve turned much worse had I not gone to the doctor.

#trustyourbody #LegallyBlind #Blind #Blindness #blindnessisaspectrum #blindnessawareness #VisionLoss #VisuallyImpaired #vision #retina


People specifically for Ontario with the cnib cards what do we actually get. None of the listed CNIB benefits exist once I look them up.

#Disability #LegallyBlind #Blindness #cnib #Canada #Ontario #why


Im full of lie anxiety

I got an email for a job i contacted them they called and we had an interview i met the owner and his head of HR and we all did the interview i felt like i aced it and i asked almost every question and i answered all of theres. Honestly i feel like i got the job it went so well ill know by wensday, but i didnt tell them i couldnt drive, it didnt sound like i need to because they have a work van that has to bring their equitment to the worksites so i could ride along.

The rest of the day i was riding high thinking next week im gunna have a job i have nothing to worry about but today it suddenly hit me what do i do if i get the job and show up the first day getting a ride from my mom or dad or sisters. I feel like im going to lose the job on the spot or atleast the end of the day. Im feeling like garbage right now like what am i going to do. I feel like i lied to this guy whos only trying to grow his small business and ive already damaged the relationship. A lie of omission the hr woman called and even asked me if i had my own vehicle before the interview and i said i have transportation where ever i need to go which isnt a lie but i know what i did. honestly im hoping they dont call me to give me the job .

#TheDisabledLife #VisuallyImpaired #LegallyBlind #Anxiety #Firstjob #LIESANXIETYTELLSYOU #WhatYouDontSee #Anxiety #lie #failure #FailureToThrive

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Where COVID-19 and ablism collide

So, as a teacher during this unique time, I was spending a calm Saturday completing some necessary shopping. Due to social distancing, shopping was easy: until it wasn’t. I shopped at Target, without incident; bought most of what I needed, at a bit of a premium due to store brands being picked over, spent around 150 dollars, more than usual, but not breaking the bank. My husband is working in the frozen food industry, so financial security wise our family is great. Target had kitty litter and food.

I love my local farmers market. I work there summers when I’m off. Firstly, I look able-bodied to an outside observer. Secondly, I am legally blind. Herein lies the problem. I was struggling to read prices off a whiteboard. I stepped a few steps closer to read and was hollered at by a woman who was panicked I was too close. I had no energy to even confront her. But I walked right out, without buying the frozen pork I had intended to. Now, do not misunderstand. I think all precautions we can take to keep each other healthy are great but, kindness and compassion!

I continued on with my errands stopped at my local food co-op for some last things and wine. Still shaken by the experience I texted my colleagues, we have a big group text were we talk school, life, triumphs and theoretically support each other which is what was the thread was about this morning. So when I needed a friendly word, I thought this will be my place. Crickets. ‘Where’s …the login ..for..””oh,’s”…….”I’m so grateful for such a supportive staff.” Insert eye-roll here. Luckily another friend texted, about then. I told her about it and she was irate on my behalf, and had some sympathy to offer. .


what avice do you guys have about getting a job?

im 25 and ive never had a job. i volenteer alot and i have a nice looking resume and all that. ive gone on indeed and ive applyed to over 98 different places and i havent had any job interviews. im legally blind and cant drive other then that you'd never know that i have any issues. it seems like im just wasting my time at this point and i need to reachout to someone. im really deperate because i have found that my selfesteam and confidence is directly linked to feeling that im helping or that im needed.

there are no employment agencys where i live and alot of them seem to be a waste of time aswell they have part time work one day a week everyother week, type work. im now at a loss as to why i never get called back or why its so hard to actually find work when i see these burnt out druggies and alcohalics getting high paying jobs from week to week like its nothing. i just bully the crap out of myself telling myself all these negitive things about myself as reasons why i didnt get called back. i just begining to hurt inside and feel unwanted.

#Anxiety #Depression #Disability #LegallyBlind #rejected #why #Work #Job #Jobs #self-doubt #Welfare #Whatswrong #Whatsthepoint