It is important for me to clarify that I am not dwelling on the past because I am trying so hard to move forward. One thing that I struggle with as a #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder patient, is losing time. What I mean by that is - when I go through episodes after being #triggered whether it be #Splitting, or feeling like I am going to #Shutdown. My episodes can be drawn out into the whole day because I don’t know how to turn off my hurt feelings, my anger, my frustration, etc. It’s like once it’s turned on, I can’t turn it off because I don’t know how to. This mainly happens with my romantic relationships, so that person will go through hell for at least a day. I know that I make people the enemy when I feel hurt. I just wish that I could save myself and also my significant other from all of the damage that ensues...

The last two weeks have been horribly relentless. Fighting all of the time, becoming defensive, blaming each other, yelling, slamming doors, lots of crying, tension, accusations, assumptions, making things about ourselves (or at least that’s what we accuse each other of)....it’s hard to be in a relationship with someone who has a mental illness just like you do... we’re exhausting each other and honestly I’m afraid it will end us. 😞

(Follow me on IG: ashley_borderlineuncut)

#BPD #MentalHealth #EndTheStigma #320changesdirection #mentalhealthadvocate #Depression #Anxiety #PTSD #EmotionalAbuse #ADHD #RelationshipOCD #Relationships #Selflove