End the Stigma

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It hurts,
It fucking hurts.
It kills,
It always did.
Sad excuses left and right,
Ignorance is left to bite…
Me.
And Us.

“Systems and plurals are crazy,”
According to this planet.
“There’s only men and women,”
According to this planet.
“There’s only heterosexuality,”
According to this planet.
“Sex define your gender identity,”
According to this planet.
“There’s only monogamy and monoamory,”
According to this planet.
“White folk deserve more than those of color,”
According to this planet.
“There’s only romance and friendship,”
According to this planet.

“Everyone’s autism is a disorder or disability,”
According to this damn planet.
“Neurodivergent folks are too loud,”
According to this damn planet.
“Fat folks are a joke,”
According to this damn planet.
“Sex and romance and love is natural among all beings,”
According to this damn planet.
“Adults can’t cry,”
According to this damn planet.
“Mental health is selfish,”
According to this damn planet.
“Trigger warnings are a joke,”
According to this damn planet.
“You should stop being poor and pay more,”
According to this damn planet.
“Everyone should identify as a human being and alterbeings, otherkin, and fictionkin folks are snowflakes and ‘cringe-worthy’,”
According to this damn planet.
“Anything that is not seen as ‘normal’ or not common should be stigmatized and criticized until it makes other folk want to closet themselves for eternity and be forced into this void of hell called “being like everyone else’,”
According to this damn forsaken planet.

Past mother’s self,
Mentally abusive.
Keeps me up,
As thoughts are still intrusive.
New mother’s self,
No longer abusive,
Past mother keeps me up,
As they are still intrusive.

—

Fuck ignorance.
What’s it ever done to us?
Take the Mars and Venus symbol,
Combine them together,
And destroy it altogether.
Neither are truly me.
Take the “human” label and wash it away,
And don’t tell me I’m human,
Else I will cry,
I’ve cried too much.
Alterbeings exist anyway.
An alien hybrid trapped in this damn realm called Earth,
I love space,
I miss my home,
It was much more quieter than here,
Much more sensical than here,
Much more reasonable than here,
Much… less ignorant.

Than here.

——

I am a non-binary transmasc overweight individual who is part of a system/plural. My pronouns are he/they/it, and some others. I do not identify as a human, I am alterhuman/alterbeing, although I still identify as someone of color. I’m black/mixed. I have 6 non-romantic partners who I all love equally with my entire heart and are also part of the same system I’m a part of, they are as real as ever. Also, I despise my autism being called a disorder or disability.

And I’m so sick of feeling ignored, and of what Earth had to offer for the past 20 years of my life on its ground. Thank you.

#MyAutismIsNotADisorder #nonbinary #LGBTQIA #ignorance #Poem #Vent #TW #Anxiety #SocialAnxiety #Alterhuman #otherkin #Racism #Capitalism #Trauma #Polyamory #system #plural #EndTheStigma #GenderIdentity #GenderDysphoria #MentalHealth #Awareness #earth #Homesick #StopSilencingUs

Just fired off an email to my former FP's that I love and miss very much despite their devastating actions toward me. I sent the email because it was my mom's idea and she felt very strongly that I should. I was educating my mom on BPD when she suggested it and I am all about educating others on our experiences as a way to break the stigma, especially of BPD, seeing as though I have lost so many because of it. I am so thankful to have a knack for writing and wanted to share it incase it helps someone else. It goes as follows:

I only email and share this because my mom felt strongly that I should. I won't make it a habit of contacting you again. In fact, I don't plan to.

I have figured out a specific pattern with my BPD. When I sense a change in behavior, I begin by expressing it (though maybe not clear enough). This is when anxiety has set in. If my anxiety is not validated, I progress to panic. If that is not validated, that is when I blow up and express myself through anger. It comes from intense emotional pain I am experiencing and not truly from anger. They equate BPD emotional pain to someone who has burns on 90% of their body and yes it truly is that bad. BPD is also known as the most painful of all mental illnesses. The thing is, something as small as a one sentence validation or a hug can quickly diffuse the situation before it escalates.

That is all. Today is the first day of Spring semester and it will be the hardest job of my life so far. It may very well take away my honors status and 3.86 GPA.

- em

I added that last part so they don't think I'm pining away for them and not moving on with my life.

#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder
#FavoritePerson #EndTheStigma

My boyfriend sent me a link shared on Facebook but originally from Instagram of a video with a cat parodying the J.G. Wentworth commercial jingle, except they changed the lyrics to, "I have a mental illness and I need cats now..." Only two people in the comments I read were offended. Everyone else thought it was hilarious.

#Stigma
#EndTheStigma
#MentalHealthStigma