Anxiety creeping in
I’m sat at a family wedding and one of my drunk cousins keeps on going on about how I should go and randomly dance with a guy. It’s not his thought he doesn’t know about my struggle with anxiety. #tearful #amxiety
I take pictures - pictures of family, of friends, of life and of nature. Photographs replace words for me in more ways than one. I was looking through some of thousands of nature pictures I've taken this year. There is one of the gulf of Mexico, I was visiting my parents before all the craziness began. It looked calm. But in fact there were riptides that day, and a person could have easily been pulled in kicking and fighting. But the currents were so strong that no matter how hard they fought, the person would have been lost lost at sea. My thought, looking at that tonight, was that I'm holding on tight to a life tube, attached by a rope. I'm losing grip of the rope, and if I let it slip just a bit more I'm going to get sucked into the current and be lost forever. I'm trying so hard to hold on, but I'm out of energy. I want to give in and let the current take over,...I want to share this picture with my therapist. I've hinted around, I told her months ago, so will she see this as me just crying for attention if I share? I feel lost, exhausted and just want to give in
Amxiety is a word for that time when you don’t want to face the world in the morning and you’d just rather stay in bed. At least, for me. I have anxiety, so I can say it. Woke up late today, but I was really awake around a half hour before I woke. I just didn’t want to leave my warm, cozy bed. This is why I cannot have a weighted blanket (lol). Then I would stay in bed all day! And not that that’s a bad thing, but I need to get up and get going. So I’ve gotta figure out how to do that better on days I don’t work in the morning. Any suggestions? Hoping to get some reading and writing done today. :) Also, working on the #kindnesschallenge #52SmallThings
What's the solution to unanswered questions. I'm pain ridden both physically and mentally. Locked in my box . Scratching and clawing at the same old shit. Independence and freedom no longer exist. Scared and lonely veteran trained to not quit. To be understood, the illusion of normal when nothing fits
Angering thoughts of what used to be open my cage and just set me free.
#CheckInWithMe #ItsOKMan #amxiety #Depression