Anticipatoryanxiety

The short answer is: Yes.

The longer answer is: Yes, however resolving it doesn't generally happen the way people think it should.

Resolving Anticipatory Anxiety Takes a Different Approach

People often seek me out to work on overcoming fear of flying because they've heard from others or read about the way I work. Over many years of practice, I've interestingly had some people relay to me that they were told by other experts that it's not possible to overcome anticipatory anxiety.

It is of great curiosity to me that anyone who offers specialized help in fear of flying would believe that anticipatory anxiety can't be overcome. (Though, I will also say that it does validate the reason I created my approach many years ago. The way professionals, including other therapists, coaches, and even pilots and airlines have approached the issue over time has been largely inadequate.) I have consistently in my practice seen people come through the other end of anticipatory anxiety. I've also seen a large number of people who not only have become settled with flying, but who have actually become excited by flying and now look for opportunities to travel more -- excitedly anticipating their trips as they grow closer rather than fearing or dreading them. Anticipatory anxiety is not a hopeless issue. It just isn't resolved the way people tend to imagine it should be.

What Do Other Approaches Miss?

Exposure Therapy and Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

If you've read my articles previously, you've probably read about my approaches with normalization, underlying causes, emotional regulation, and passenger flying education as the big four components that are woven together to help overcome fear of flying. When it comes to anticipatory anxiety, there is a lot happening that greatly differs from one person to the next, based on their own experiences and histories, emotionally, relationally, contextually, and more. While *ideally* simply normalizing flying and doing the related exercises would take care of anticipatory anxiety, when there is more going on in the underlying causes area, normalization can actually become blocked. This means no matter how much you may fly, or how much you work on something like exposure therapy, it can't break through or ease your anxiety. (It's also not easily possible to do exposure therapy with flying because of the limits of access to planes and how this process would need to be handled). This is one of the reasons why cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) isn't as effective as one would hope for fear of flying, and especially not for anticipatory anxiety. Behavioral approaches can be helpful with certain elements of flying at times, but these tend to only goes so far.

Pilots and Airline Programs

Another approach that people often try is seeking out pilots or airline sponsored programs to try to overcome their anticipatory anxiety and dread leading up to flying. Ultimately, these kind of approaches generally aim to teach you about flying, hoping you'll learn why you shouldn't be scared of flying. The idea is that if you know how flying works, then you won't be scared anymore. While the intentions are good, when is the last time you've experienced anxiety or panic and it actually worked when someone responded with all the reasons you shouldn't be scared?

I know pilots are well-meaning and intending to help, but if you're looking for help with fear of flying, my first suggestion wouldn't be to go to a pilot. Pilots are experts in flying the plane and in aviation. They aren't experts mental health, emotional processes, or in the way deeper emotions tend to become activated (or calmed), and how complex it can be to help people find their way through tremendous fear, panic, and anxiety. While pilots have tremendous knowledge and ability in the world of flying planes and in aviation, it is very rare that *knowing* about how flying works calms panic and anxiety more than a little bit.

You may be wondering how I know that the above methods are generally less helpful. The answer is pretty simple: Many people over time come to me after trying all of these different approaches still feeling anxious about flying.

Anticipatory Anxiety Isn't Rationally-Based

Anticipatory anxiety doesn't function in the rational brain. When people are in rational mode, the brain is in a very different state than when in panic, fear, and anxiety mode. More knowledge isn't going to do much to relieve the panic state. Fear of flying tends to push people into an anxiety and panic state that can't be easily reasoned with once it's activated.

When you're scared, rational thought essentially shuts down. You're just looking for safety at this point as if you're in imminent danger. Anticipatory anxiety can feel for many people like something between a low-grade and a full on panic attack for periods of time leading up to a flight, feeling as if you're preparing to walk into danger (both in mind and in body). For many, this starts the moment the ticket is purchased and the commitment is made. Though many others may not start to feel it until a month or less before the flight.

Anticipatory anxiety, believe it or not, can also often be about more than only the flight. The flight can be the catalyst that brings all of the vulnerability forward -- and it can of course be about the flight, as well. However, I have seen a significant number of people who are calm and grounded during flights with little to no anxiety at all, even on turbulent flights, who are still terrified leading up to every flight anyway.

Overcoming Anticipatory Anxiety and Fear of Flying

Anticipatory anxiety brings added layers that are different for each person (which is why the way I work with this issue is so personalized in bringing the components together). If you're trying to overcome anticipatory anxiety by focusing solely on the flight itself, it's likely not going to help you feel much better if what's causing the anticipatory anxiety is stemming from deeper anxieties and vulnerabilities that are tapped into by the flight. Anticipatory anxiety lives and breathes in the stored emotions that builds from experiences over time. When faced with an environment like flying, where it can tap into people's greatest vulnerabilities, this is when anticipatory anxiety wakes up the sleeping demons.

If you are struggling with anticipatory anxiety, fear of flying, or anxiety in general, it is not hopeless.

#fearofflying #Anxiety #PanicAttacks #Phobia #phobias #Anticipatoryanxiety

If you are afraid of flying, then you likely have experienced the all-consuming anticipatory anxiety that can arise anytime you're approaching a flight. Or, you may avoid traveling altogether because the fear of sitting trapped in a plane for hours is so overwhelming. While some people's worry focuses on the idea of the ultimate catastrophe, many people who fear flying actually can be even more paralyzed by the idea of the fear itself.

There are a number of reasons that people come to me to help them overcome their fear of flying. One of these reasons is that I approach flying anxiety in a different way than other therapists do, and differently than the numerous videos or other gimmicks advertised online (which are mostly not produced by mental health professionals). If you have tried some of these approaches, you'll find that many don't work well for this complicated phobia. A large number of people tend to come to me after trying those other options, at a point when they feel almost hopeless.

It's worth noting that many of the gimmicks you'll see advertised tend to be a one-size-fits-all, where it is implied that everyone's fear of flying is the same, and just needs the same one approach to conquer it. They may have a video to watch, or exercises to learn, or otherwise. If you come across courses and videos sold by pilots online -- and there are quite a few of these out there -- remember that pilots are very knowledgeable and skilled at flying planes and knowing aviation, which is their specialty. However, they aren't experts in deep emotional processes or what is really driving someone's flying anxiety. While courses or videos that explain flying can be mildly helpful for some people on a rational level, rational-based approaches are generally not greatly helpful for flying phobia, because fear of flying is embedded in deeper emotional processes.

Fear of Flying is Emotional

Fear of flying has varying underlying causes for it, and the actual experiences of the anxiety and fear tend to manifest or present differently from one person to the next. Therefore, a flexible approach and the ability to understand you and your experience on a deeper level is necessary in order to help you overcome it. One major difference between how I approach this issue and how it seems most others approach, is that I enter this fear through the emotional process. When people try to do a one-size-fits-all, or teach you a class, they're coming at it from the front of the brain, so to speak -- the more consciously rational process, which is only available to a person when they are emotionally grounded.

However, when not emotionally grounded, or heavily emotionally activated (in anxiety, panic, or similar), the rational may as well not exist. The deeper emotional processes in the back of the brain are what have developed, sustained, and strengthened your fear of flying. This is the space where it lives, and what takes over when the fears show up. These deeper emotional processes from person to person are entirely unique, based on their own lives, histories, experiences, emotional patterns, etc.

People often want fear of flying to be simple. They wish for someone to give them a couple of tips or techniques and hope that somehow they'll suddenly be flying comfortably. However, finding comfort in an environment that calls for people to have to patiently sit in some of their deepest vulnerabilities and fears is much more complicated than this.

Anticipatory Anxiety and Fear of the Fear

Many people who fear flying struggle deeply with anticipatory anxiety -- the intense dread and anxiety that can show up in the days, weeks, or months leading up to a flight. When it comes to anticipatory anxiety, for some this can be the one of the most uncomfortable places to sit. The fear of the flight and the unknown of how it will go or, more so, how they will actually feel during it. For some, the fear of how terrifying and all-consuming the emotional discomfort will be is what they actually fear the most. The worry that they won't be able to calm themselves (and no one will be able to calm them), and feel like they are losing control, and even worse, that they have no choice but to just sit with it for hours until the plane lands.

In these moments, knowledge and the rational tends to slip away. The front of the brain loses its ability to have control and the back of the brain takes over almost completely. It can be such a powerful takeover that even learned exercises can be forgotten or impossible to access in the moment. This surge in anxiety can be so uncomfortable, and feel so terrifying that, often, this can become the anticipated fear. The fear of having to experience this out-of-control discomfort and fear at all. Even if someone knows in their mind that the flight itself will be okay, when the body can't hear or access this, then it feels on every level like they won't be okay.

What does this mean?

Overall, flying anxiety is an emotional process. It needs to be treated by getting to understand you and your process personally, and knowing how to respond in needed ways to this. Purchasing a pre-recorded, blanket-approach video or program doesn't do this. It doesn't get to know your process, or help you in a way you are needing. Flying anxiety runs deep, and people are often surprised to find that depth of the fear isn't always as much about flying itself than they realize at first (which is part of the reason that the over-focus on how flying works doesn't tend to work so well, even if it can create a temporary sense of control).

While there is more to the complexity of the process than can be articulated in one article, it is important to know that you can overcome fear of flying. Whether you've had it as long as you can remember, or if it's a recent development, there is hope. It just has to be the right approach that is attuned to you and what you need.

#fearofflying #fearoffear #MentalHealth #PanicAttacks #Anxiety #flyinganxiety #Anticipatoryanxiety