anxiaty

I waited till today to receive the class notes i lucked out an got thought in a couple hours . My issue is i was full aware i needed to study and chose to do something else. I can’t say anything was bugging aside from my issue with chronic pain. So I got buzzed an a little high to ease my discomfort and wasted the weekend doing it , I feel better my pain is under control for the moment , i rested a lot and although I fell right . Inside I know I would have not done so good had I not had rest . Yet I’m sad that I had to use to get it . I want to do right an better myself yet I do these things when I’m not feeling well maybe I need new meds #ChronicPain #Trauma

I am stressing on something dumb yet important, I could use opinions
I own a small house it’s old and the sewer runs to my neighbors house connects in their yard then runs out to the street . Well the new neighbors want to build and add a shop so they have asked me to reroute my sewer line off their property an connect to the sewer on the street . Thing is i can’t afford it i live on disability which is not much an I door other things to buy food gas an have stuff other then stay home . So im stuck idk how to do this and my depression I don’t want to do much it’s awful. Plus I have meet a lady online that has asked me to move in she has extra room and says we can share utilities an rent . Yet I can’t leave my house nor rent it because of the sewer . So I’m stuck still and this doesn’t even cover the issue so have with my ptsd an child hood problems. What or where do you all think I should start to get this going .
I want to move with the lady she is kind to me we only chat but it’s like she understands

Learning to accept and live with Asperger's is a challenge I'm finding it extremely hard to accept I'm 36 and spent all of my life wondering why I feel the way I do and think the way I do and in one way getting this diagnosed is a god sent but in another I'm finding it hard to accept I am told that it is harder for adults to accept as our brains are not as malubull as childrens so it that way it makes it harder did others have this problem just wanting feed back and maybe a way of learning to accept this and learning to live with Asperger's #Aspergers #MentalHealth #Selfharm #anxiaty #Autism

I have been going thre so much the last two years my depression and anxiety have been running wild it took me a very long time to feel safe enough to talk to someone and to get the right some one to talke to in regards to a professional ,now if he is the right person to talke to I don't know as we have been seeing each other for a year now and all I can say is things as got worse but I will say one thing for him he got the cogs moving on other things I have a ortisum test witch I would not of got with out him I have been assigned a community mental health worker these are good things I know that so I'm happy for that but things have got so out of hand with my mental health I'm cutting dayly I even maid a plan witch I disclosed to him that's why I got community mental health worker cause he was worried and so was I ,I have so much I want to say but I don't I bottle it it's just so much for me to bare #MentalHealth #anxiaty #Selfharm #overwelmed #Suicide

I'm so tired of protending I'm fine when I'm not ,I'm so tired of feeling what I feel and being the way I am it's just so hard to act ok every single day #Selfharm #deppreshion #anxiaty #Selfhate #lonelyness

Ok so I have had quite a bad thew years my mental health has tuck such a swan dive over the past thew years I have always had depression and anxiety and suffered from self harm as well as being dyslexic,since being about 8 years old when I was 16 I thew my back out and ended up with sciatica hought nothing of it till I got older and it got progressively worse I now have chronic sciatica as well as arthritis starting and I suffer with acute migrains trigger by most things my point is most days its a hard task to force myself out of bed but I do to work work is the one thing in my life I can control if that makes sense I just dread the day I can no longer work, the pain has got so bad lately im finding it hard to deal im trying to find some thing that keeps me going but that is coming hard to find ,and now im waiting to be tested for autism and the stress from just waiting for that is hard to bare some times im scared senseless, im 36 and a reck my life some days feels like it is so out of control I just don't know how to keep going there I said it I hold on to so much and don't say anything I feel this anger boiling up inside and don't know how to release it so I do the only t h ing I know how push it so far down that it has a ripple effect on my life and well being #Dyslexia #Selfharm #Depression #anxiaty #AcuteStressDisorder

So to the day is the day that I have been waiting for ,for over a month now my doctored appointment and my test results for what seems like has tuck a life time to get when in fact it's been tow years,

So I go up and felt a little anxious but motivedted so decided to to weed the front garden and plant some plants dick over the front garden and sort out veg patch out all in all I was a ok day happy content is a better word that happy to be honest then came the dreaded phone call from my doctor with my results and to go over my meds and see how I have been so I got the results that I have IBS which will be controlled with moor tablets yeaaa me we then spoke about my migraine and she maid the choice to change my meds as they are not geting any better .

So after speaking about them tow things she said ok speak to you on 20th I'm like wait I have not finished yet I not been able to get my actual doctor on the phone or in person for over tow years now her response well you have to make it fast I have other lations at this point anger kicked in but I keep it contained so i go on by telling her about my anti depressants and doing pheropy wait for it this is the best part her response is that don't matter at the moment we have just changed 3 of your meds we will sort that out before we sort your mental health out .

Ok sorry in advance rant Alpert wtf I tell my doctor I concerned about my mental health witch I was diagnosed with , by the way I'm over 35 now and she says I could be down to the fact that you have had a ongoing problem for tow years with your stomach,first of all I know my mental health and I know what is what when it comes to my mental health I should do I hav dealt with it long ago so the fact that I have been feeling like self harming and so down I have wanted to kill myself ,and her response is we will sort that out next time is it me or is that wrong ,I'm confused are doctors not in the job of helping these days ,

I have had nothing but problems with the lack of giving a fuck by any doctor since the beging of this god dam pandemic and yes I can appreciate that my situation with the stomach and pandemic on top and not maid my depression and self harm and willingness to want to carry on has not been maid better but to say it's all down to that is bull I have dealt with mental health a lot longer than I have had this particular problem with my stomach , this is the problem with doctors you try to get the help you need and all you get is next time we don't have time to talk about it this time ok I'll just make my mental health take a brake yea cause that's the way shit works I'm sorry for the bad language I'm just so anger and defeeted right now I don't know why I bother trying to help myself this is why people don't want to go to the doctor's about there mental health cause they ether get jugment or lack of willingness to help .

I'm just so fed up that I don't know why I bother any moor I really do not #depprshion #anxiaty

I'm in a different state.... I've been homeless for 2 months and I've been in the same country 1 time. I'm lost and hurt, and apparently I called of our engagement. The one I proposed and she never answered. The same one she told me would never happen. Like I know she has DID but shes been a narcissist for months and continues to tear apart my life. Why can I not stop loving her? I've done nothing but suffer for almost a year now waiting and trying to fix things. I can be over bearing with the paranoid delusions but stalking? I'm so lost I moved to Texas for that woman and and she pleaded for me to come back. I don't feel like im good enough, and I don't feel her words are true. I hate this.... she told my mother she was having nightmares and barley eating for months bevause she's terrified she will wake up to news of suicide.... but she strips me of everything I love and care about and rips apart my life. I don't feel good, I don't want to live, but I have much more to lose and many people I would hurt. Im appaled and disgusted, and I still want to work this out and marry her.... #Depression #CPTSD #anxiaty #Void #Seperationanixety