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    Water colors

    This piece took forever but I liked how it turned out!
    #cronicpain #numb #watercolor

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    Fantasy watercolor

    One of the things I like to do to calm myself down or to try and get away from myself a bit is imagine fantasy worlds and characters and come up with stories around them sometimes I also draw them this was one of those drawings that I liked so I thought I would share it. #anxiaty #watercolor #cronicpain

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    My dog says hello and he wants everyone to know if anyone is having a hard time he will give as many kisses as needed to help cheer you up.

    #Doglove #Depression #Upset #cronicpain #cronicillness

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    It be like that sometimes...

    I don't have a thought... I just feel like this picture #cronicpain #Arthritis #Fatigue

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    Copper infused compression socks #SmallFiberNeuropathy #Fibromyalgia #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #cronicpain

    So I have found out almost a year ago I have small fiber neuropathy, POTS and fibromyalgia.. I am on two medications and it’s not doing anything. My left leg especially feels as if it’s in an ice bucket. So I wanted to try the copper infused compression socks. I wanted to see if anyone has tried it. And if so does it work? I am desperate!

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    Being Stong

    Wanting to get better #cronicpain #MentalHealth

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    I always bring a small watercoloring set and a liner pen with me in my purse when I go to doctors appointments that way if there is a long wait in the waiting room I can draw. I was looking at some of the paintings I did and I thought this one turned out well #cronicpain #Watercolors


    The thoughts that I'm having #cronicpain #CPTSD #PTSD #CheckInWithMe #ComplexRegionalPainSyndrome #Deppressed #Worried #Anxiety

    So, I've had 2 dr appointments that have left me in a state of disbelief and sadness.

    The first was my pain management doctor. I have been telling him for at least 6 months, that the meds I'm on, are barely helping. The morphine pump was brought up. (He refuses to go any higher on my meds, and I'm on a couple that are heavy hitters. He agreed that the pump was the next step. I was crying during the whole conversation, as well as crying at the drop of a hat for the next few days. This is a subject that I've discussed with my therapist. I thought that I was at peace with it. Far from it. I realize that the pump is the last stage, and that is terrifying. What happens if the pump no longer lasts? Where do I go from there. I've been hurt for the past 14years. I feel like I've done well avoiding the pump.

    I now have to make an appointment with my old neurosurgeon, to find out if he's on board. Getting an appointment is easier said than done. Yea life!

    On top of that, I recently went to my new gyn (I finally found a great one, woot woot!), and she wants me to have a mammogram due to the fact that she found a lump. (Cancer runs on both sides of my family) I'm not at all happy about the news, especially the look she had written on her face which read "worried". I'm looking at at least one surgery. I'm hoping that it's nothing, but a nagging voice is telling me to brace myself.

    My family is aware of the pump. I haven't told them about the mammogram, because I don't want to worry anyone, unless I have to.

    On top of everything, I feel like I have no one to turn to. I'm tired of the ulterior motives. I just want to connect and have support. Is that really such a hard request?

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    #nlpcoaching #PTSD #anxietysupport #mindsetshift #cronicpain #Trauma

    If you've had to live through any form of trauma from birth to date then you understand how difficult everyday tasks seem to feel like the most daunting, exhausting experiences. To get up, to get dressed, to shower once a week at times! You take medication after medication. You are expected to travel to a specialist for everything you get diagnosed with. Right? Do you feel sick and literally feel like you can't breathe day after day turned year after year. Are you labeled an addict? Are you considered a difficult case? Do you feel you will never find anyone that can help you? I was stuck in this loop for over 15 years! I worked as a registered nurse for 5 years having no idea how horrible the patient side truly was! I started on a journey 4 years ago to find answers online. Despite my efforts in January 2020.... my whole world flipped for the worst! I literally was at a loss. How can this happen? Seriously it got worse! I couldn't believe it! Relationship of 10 years in shambles, my teenage daughters a mess, 17 surgeries to date. Wanting answers to my pain, anxiety at an all time high. I felt I completely lost my mind. My "husband" just lost his job, he had to sell our house we just completely remodeled the past 6 years. First day on the market "sold" a brief moment of peace.....
    March 16th final signing of the house. I went to Florida with my sister, mom,my 2 girls and 3 nephews. COVID 19 was shutting down the world.. my oldest went back to freshman year college. My other daughter a sophomore in high school and myself forced to move in with my mom, a town house with 13 steps up, 13 steps down from living room and kitchen. While my "husband" chose to live at his parents and collect unemployment benefits. Never around. By May I was ready for a padded room in a mental facility. I knew I was going down a hole that I wasn't sure I could climb out of again. I'd been doing this 15 years. I didn't want to leave my daughters to this ugly world alone. I was utterly pissed off at everyone. I was seeing Drs to Amputate my R ankle and wanted pain management again. After medication free 5 years. Tried supplements, diet changes, CBD, Kratom.. I've tried everything. Been put on everything. I've fought dependency for meds and alcohol. Labeled an addict! Drug seeker! Demean by those who were my colleagues... I lashed out angry and cried everyday then July 2020 I received a call from Australia! The first 3 sentences I knew I had to make the biggest choice in my life in 20 years. So I try this NLP what the heck is it and how can it Seriously help my issues? A list of complicated untreated Dx for decades.
    After my first session I could freakin walk up and down the stairs, to the bathroom without crying! What the heck 😳! I was like this is the same ankle 98 year old arthritis, fused and little pain. 4 sessions. I'm 90% better, No meds. Mastery level Coach! Pm me for info!! Story in detail to be cont.. SERIOUSLY CONDENSED VERSION! Right!