anxiety books

#Anxiety #AnxietyBooks

I’m gonna review on a story from a book entitled The Gift of Fear by Becker which emphasized on survival signals.

Dylann Roof, brother of Amber Roof had been accused of slaying nine black churchgoers in a racial hate crime in South Carolina after Amber, recognized her brother’s distinctive bowl haircut on TV and called the cops to tip them off. Police apprehended her brother in Shelby, North Carolina - just 3 miles from where Amber’s fiance was living with his children.

Beyond the shock of her brother’s hate crimes and the grief for the victims who lost their lives, Amber was faced with a choice that no wedding planner has ever considered: What do you do when your brother shoots up a church just days before you walk down the aisle on the happiest day of your life?

Of course, Amber and her fiance called off the wedding and went into hiding. They were married weeks later in a secluded cabin, unable to salvage their original plans in their original venue. Amber and her fiance have yet to surface. Solace and normalcy were stolen from her, her husband, and her stepfamily.

Months passed, Amber stated in her Facebook that “The real victims are the ones who lost their lives that day. I should not speak, as it may come off as if I am comparing my pain and loss to theirs”
Well, the nine people who were killed by her brother were indeed victims. But her pain was profound, and she was a victim too. Her pain and their pain aren’t on a scale to be judged, as we can’t view our pain through a hierarchical lens.

Denying your personal pain won’t lessen other people’s suffering. Denying your personal pain will only increase it.

Denial is… a save-now-pay-later scheme, a contract writen entirely in small print, for in the long run, the denying person knows the truth on some level, and it causes a constant low-grade anxiety. Millions of people suffer that anxiety, and denial keeps them from taking action that could reduce the risks (and the worry) (de Becker, 2015).

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“...It’s the backwards law again: the more you try to be certain about something, the more uncertain and insecure you will feel...

...Uncertainty also relieves us of our judgment of ourselves...Our values are imperfect and incomplete, and to assume that they are perfect and complete is to put us in a dangerously dogmatic mindset that breeds entitlement and avoids responsibility. The only way to solve our problems is to first admit that our actions and beliefs up to this point have been wrong and are not working.”

Excerpt From
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
Mark Manson

These 2 books are very good read when doing some self reflection. It puts into perspective some thoughts that I avoid and do not realize. I am guilty of focusing so much and blaming external forces for my situation that I fail to recognize my responsibility and part and what I do have control over.

The more anxious we are, the more high-functioning we will make ourselves appear, which just encourages the world to lean on us more - Sarah Wilson

I am extremely guilty of this! Reminding myself that it’s ok not to be a people pleaser 100% of the time is something that is extremely hard for me! #AnxietyBooks #PeoplePleaser