It seems like everyone is always talking about how life is a journey. That we should enjoy they ride.
Well I can’t even enjoy an ice cream cone without by jaw aching from weakness. How do they except me to be happy, optimistic and talkative all the time when I cannot even smile without pain. Let alone sit for hours listening to someone’s else’s problem. I CANT DO ANYTHING RIGHT NOW!
In reality, I know that this is just a rough patch. That I am going though a flare and this too shall pass. But then I feel I should be able to go through this part of my journey without expectations of “normal” people. These people that I know love me, but don’t get it.
Right now, this flare is lasting longer than 3 months. My family is waiting, not so patiently anymore, for me to move on from this. To “pick myself up and move forward” because you cannot wallow forever. I don’t want to wallow forever. I want to grieve the part of my journey that my condition is taking from me. Birthdays, Anniversary’s and much more that I am in able to enjoy due to the looming cloud that is Autoimmune Autonomic Ganglionopathy.
My journey will continue and I will be stronger when this’s rough patch is done. I just wish it would finish soon.