begentle

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#begentle

“Be gentle, you’re doing the best you can” I saw that quote this morning and instantly loved it. You never think at 27 your life would be dependent on meds. Just now, it took everything in me to get up, walk downstairs, get my abortives (yes, plural) out of my purse, get some water, and come back upstairs. “Be gentle, you’re doing the best you can.”
The shower is running but I’m too scared to stand back up to get in it. When the pain gets bad, standing up brings an intensified throbbing, blacking out, numbness to almost every part of my body. “Be gentle, you’re doing the best you can.”
“It’s just migraines” they say, “try this new med.” It’s a never ending cycle. Every doctors appointment, a new “possible diagnosis” (because we can’t ever just be okay with chronic migraines, which in turn makes it hard for me to be okay with it), a new medication, more testing, more procedures. Standing up takes so much work. But I do it. Everyday. Everyday behind my left eye hurts. Throbs. Pressure. “Be gentle, you’re doing the best you can.”
Everyday I get new messages from doctors, new bills, new calls from pharmacies. But. I pray. God listens. I blast (on a significantly lower volume than I used to) my Lauren Daigle. I talk to my Granny and my Grandma. I have the most wonderful support system ever. And from the bottom of my heart I thank each and every one of y’all.
Everyday we all push through it. Whatever your “it” is.
Everyday we’re trying something new.
Everyday we’re thinking of new things.
But just remember, be gentle, everyone’s doing the best they can. 💕