bisexual

By Linda Athanasiadou

People often assume they know what being bisexual means. That it’s about liking men and women “equally.” That it’s indecisive, confusing, or temporary. That it’s a stepping stone to something else—or nothing serious at all. But the truth is, being bisexual doesn’t fit neatly into anyone’s assumptions. It’s not a phase. It’s not a performance. And it’s definitely not what most people think.

Being bisexual feels like freedom and friction at the same time. It’s the freedom to be attracted to more than one gender, to connect with people beyond binaries. But it’s also the friction of constantly navigating a world that struggles to recognize that truth. A world where people often ask, “But which do you prefer?” or assume that your current partner defines your orientation.

For me, being bisexual means living in the space between—and sometimes feeling like you don’t fully belong anywhere. Straight people often treat you like you’re gay. Queer spaces sometimes treat you like you’re straight. Dating can feel like a test: Will this person understand? Will I have to defend myself again?

It also means constantly coming out. Every new person, every new relationship, every time someone assumes. There’s no one-and-done moment. It’s ongoing. And while sometimes that feels empowering, other times it’s exhausting. Because each time, you’re weighing whether it’s safe, whether it’s worth the explanation, whether your truth will be accepted or minimized.

Being bisexual means sitting with contradictions that don’t feel contradictory to you—but do to others. It’s knowing that you can love a man and still be queer. That being in a same-gender relationship doesn’t make you any “more” gay than you were before. That identity isn’t measured by who you’re currently dating.

But it’s not all struggle. There’s beauty in the nuance. There’s clarity in understanding attraction as something fluid and not forced into a mold. There’s joy in finding others who feel the same, who share your language, who don’t raise an eyebrow when you say you’re bi. There’s power in rejecting the idea that your love has to look a certain way to be valid.

Being bisexual, for me, feels like reclaiming space. Space to define myself without apology. Space to unlearn shame. Space to feel fully seen.

So no—it’s not what most people think. It’s deeper, messier, and more real. And it’s not something that needs to be justified or simplified.

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Sometimes I wish that I could pick a side to be on and stay there. At 18 I came out as bisexual then I had a little phase where I thought I was a lesbian. Now I don't even know myself anymore. Everyday Im being criticize for being bisexual like I'm just confused and I don't know what I want and blah blah blah. I just wish that I can be free of judgement

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Today I participated in an online trivia game hosted by the honour society I'm a member of at my college. Being the progressive organization that we are, the theme was PRIDE Jeopardy. Several members identify as LGBTQ-PA . Also, many, actually all of them, are younger than me. As these trivia questions came rolling out, and the younger generation of forward thinking leaders answered quickly and accurately, I realized that there is a lot about the community that I've been a member of since 1999, that I don't know. With each wrong answer I submitted, I could feel the eyes of my fellow students roll with disappointment. I feel like a sham, a fake, a wolf in sheep's clothing, all because I don't know the current colours of each flag, or the proper terminology, or pronoun, or any of the myriad of important issues that relate to this community. And it's not that it doesn't matter to me. It does! It's not that I don't care. I do! But I just feel so out of the loop, behind the times, and honestly, a bit ostracised. I don't feel like I belong anymore...I fought so hard to find a community where I felt safe to be myself, to love whomever my heart chose, heck to love myself for once. But now I feel like an outsider, both looking in and looking out of the perverbial closet with no sense of support or communion from either side. I just want to be loved and accepted for who I am, not rejected for what I'm not. Isn't that what we all want? A place to belong? A place to feel safe? A place where we don't have to pretend anymore? And yet, here I am, feeling rejected like a traitor by the only community I've ever been able to identify with because I'm certainly not straight, but suddenly I'm not gay enough either. Where do I go now? Standing in the closet doorway - unwelcomed and uninvited....

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