breakthroughs

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90 Days #SOBER

I don’t ever post, I’ve always stayed private in my struggles out of fear of judgment…but as part of my transformation l wanted to share that today marks my 90 days of #Sobriety . (This is not an April Fools Joke) At the start of this year I embarked on a journey that I wasn’t prepared for, and that unnerved me since I have a strong desire to control everything around me. The ‘short version’ of the story that led me to sobriety; out of the blue last December I began to have intense heart palpitations, dizziness & a plethora of odd ailments not related to my already established (awesome) chronic #Depression , #Anxiety , etc. This issue with my heart in conjunction with other enlightened #breakthroughs made me realize that the booze was the last wall that needed to come down to see the real road ahead & finally drive on it. My heart may not be at 100% but the rest of me is functioning on levels I haven’t felt in 20+ years. Sobriety is bringing me clarity & helping me feel again. Everyone’s road is different this is just a glimpse at my route. Be kind to others on the ‘road’ today & thank you for allowing me to share.

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#breakthroughs #Depression #lackofworth #WhyAmIHere

I've always wondered if when I express myself if people think I'm aiming for attention, or if they just think how pathetic I am. I'm not certain at what point in my life this transpired or why. Then I wonder if I should even say anything. If I bottle it all up it leads to an mental break down. Last one left my physically sick for 2 weeks and being put on meds, which the meds took a few months to get me on track. I'm constantly waiting for the shoe to drop. I'm waiting to be chucked back to the very bottom...not that I'm at the top. If it is accurate that I'm found to be a burden then why do I even belong here. If I were to die today or tomorrow who would really care...and does it matter if they did or did not care? I suppose I would just like to think I mattered or made a difference in this life. I wonder if all of this is just unnecessary thinking...I wish I could slow the noise. #Thinking #Damn #WhyAmIHere #Whatsthepoint #doesanyofthismatter #shutupbrain #ImSoTired ##MajorDepression #severeanxiety #PanicAttacks

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